Monday, November 4, 2019

Not Every Confrontation is Worth Fighting

Confrontation happens and it can't always be avoided.  A foe doesn't want to have to deal with confrontation if he or she can persuade you into giving he or she whatever they want.  When I came across a foe, I found that just so long as I did what was expected of me I was in her good graces, but if I made a mistake, caused an inconvenience, or simply didn't respond to her in the way that she wanted, she would talk negatively behind my back to the one who actually liked me.

The day came when I ended up having to confront her via email first since I didn't see her due to a schedule conflict about a situation.  The matter was brought up by her via email so that she had documentation, I wasn't stupid, so I kept the dialogue going that way.  Eventually, I saw her in-person as well as the person she cc'd and explained my concern.  Of course, she made light of it.  I was willing to resolve the situation, but "no problem" was the typical response.  Sure, right!

Before long, I prayed about matters that came up and I realized that I no longer wanted to be a part of the immature shenanigans the individual came up with.  I figured out she felt threatened that I was going to be promoted and jealous of the way our manager treated me that is why she started on the course to nit-pick and cause unnecessary conflict.  Had I saw more benefit in that opportunity, I would have been facing that foe a lot.  I picked my battles with her and since then others. 

Not every verbal statement or physical confrontation is worth fighting.  There are times when you must stand-down if you love your freedom, want to keep your peace of mind, and obtain future blessings!

No matter what you are going through or what is ahead, above everything else, keep your cool!  You can do the following:

1)  Take a long pause before responding to an email.  Consult with a knowledgeable and trustworthy counselor about the matter that has come up.

2)  Don't bother to talk immediately about it while angry.  You may end up being angry with the person or people around you who just might advise, "Calm down, it's not that serious."

3)  Walk.  Move away from the tense environment.  Take slow breaths while you are out and about.

4)  If you are spiritual, pray.  What sense is it to have a personal faith if you don't use it.

5)  Think of ways to resolve the conflict before you write that email, make arrangements to meet, or pick up the phone.

6)  Watch your tone of voice when speaking to the individual or group.

7)  Smile as if you already won the battle :)  God got your back!

Also, keep in mind never battle with anyone when you are tired, hungry, sick, grieving, or worse have too many irons in the fire already.  You are guaranteed to walk away feeling defeated.

Nicholl McGuire

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