A huge fight broke out between parent and child. A son or daughter wanted to feel love, needed attention from a parent, had been repeatedly hurt by both parents, and felt left out on major decisions. He or she hoped to express his or her opinion without being shut down. But the demanding parent or guardian oftentimes didn't want to be questioned. He or she wanted a good child, one who listened and obeyed without rebellion.
The other parent out of sight out of mind at least to the former lover, but not to the child, "That is still my mom...my dad!" The overwhelmed single parent noticed others were going through similar things with their children, but their problem, they weren't willing to make any major adjustments to alleviate parental challenges. Funny, a parent can see what is wrong with others' relationships with children, but not his or her own. So a child grows up to be a young adult, and what is left of a poor connection between one and parent?
No matter how much one prays, trusts God, attends church service, or have others to pray, if there is an unwillingness to reconnect with one another in a healthy and hopeful way while seeking healing for the troubled mind, there will be more lows than highs in any relationship. Casting aside toxic distractions, people, things, etc. is part of the process in an attempt to bridge a gap or obtain some healing for a broken connection with a child. But if the distraction is someone or something that the parent or guardian favors, he or she might end up choosing the person, place or thing over the child who has given him or her so much grief. No matter what the reason might be for making such a choice, the point is the child now feels rejected.
Rejection leads to a twisted mindset in time--a spiritual schizophrenia looking for love in all the wrong places. "Why mom, why dad...you didn't want me! Well I will seek someone/something who does!"
It isn't any wonder why people make the choices that they make when it comes to: choosing a dysfunctional partner like themselves, having sex with multiple partners in a short period of time, making money with shady businesses, working unfulfilling jobs, choosing over-priced education for a coveted title, attempting to parent others' children when they can barely take care of their own, and more during times when they are ill-equipped to handle themselves much less responsibilities related to major life decisions.
If one has a child who is often in trouble, difficult to handle, has a mental challenge, angry with the other parent, using drugs or alcohol heavily, and doing other things that drive a parent up the wall, why expect he or she to go along with too much of anything that you might suggest? Your personal happiness is irrelevant, how much you have done for he or she is unimportant, and who you might bring into that child's life is the least of one's concerns. But what is of major concern to a child is being heard. You can love a child until he or she is blue in the face, yet if there are inconstancies in that love and it is based on the child performing rather than just being, then of course he or she doesn't feel loved (refer to I Corinthians 13, do you really love your child?) Throw in "training up a child" and sure you give them God, but what about your time/love/energy/kindness? He or she gravitates to Him and only Him.
Children don't come into this world wanting to be a problem for a parent. They don't always sit back and orchestrate a plan to divide couples (although some do). They don't set out on a mission to tear up your clean and organized home. Their intentions are not to hurt a sibling and upset you, connect with a bad friend to shame you, or run and tell other relatives just how bad a parent you might be, rather they do have a place within their mind, body and spirit that is after peace and contentment. Notice what they do really isn't about you, but a self-absorbed parent believes everything that a child does is about him or her. Take "me, I, self" out of the equation and you will find that your purpose is to serve others including your child--there is no age limit on service. People in the church and out of the church are typically able-bodied people, but they have their emotional and physical needs and so too are rebellious children.
Kids know that if they don't "straighten up" or "tow the line" there will be consequences. However, for the ineffective parent, sons and daughters aren't the least bit concerned about him or her enforcing the rules, because the parent might have a long track record of being a push over and doesn't want to hurt their children's feelings. He or she most likely went to battle with the other parent for their children so they know he or she is the weak link. You know as an adult how people get over on weak, gullible and insecure people. Children aren't blind, they can see and smell fear and weakness. This is why some children don't hesitate to intimidate or guilt ineffective parents--there is no healthy fear or respect for a parent like this. Worse, if the child or children has witnessed a mother weak to a man or vice versa such as: backing down via intimidation during disagreements, accommodating the bully, and mistreated in other ways like lying and cheating, the child or young adult might mimic what he or she viewed growing up. Don't believe this is occurring with some of you readers? Well pay attention the next time you argue with a partner whether in front of a child or in the next room. It won't be long before you get in a disagreement with the kid and he or she will test you by raising his or her voice, cursing, slamming doors, and acting in similar ways that you or your partner acted toward one another. You say you love a partner, but in a child's eyes. you have a funny way of showing it.
So when you find yourself or you know of someone who feels like he or she is fighting a foe, in this case, a child, know that it is due to the fact that he or she didn't demonstrate quality parenting skills early on and allowed his or her selfish desires to take priority over the child's need for love and attention. But it is never too late to be the kind of parent who makes wrongs right.
Parenting goes beyond spending dollars and cents on a child's favorite stuff or a young adult's college education, or making a contribution to an older son or daughter's wedding plans. Consider what our heavenly Father wants from us, a relationship. He welcomes us with loving and open arms to cast our burdens on to Him. He doesn't throw up a long list of things he has done for us unless we desire a war with Him and if so, your hands are too short to box with an Awesome God, you will lose! Yet, selfish, ineffective, demanding, and mentally ill parents will try to debate truth, the meaning of love, turn a blind eye to their poor decisions while blaming a child and the list goes on. Then they wonder why they are not acknowledged during man-made holidays. They guilt children into buying for them and use scripture to justify their many sins.
Honor is earned. God is love. Children are gifts. Your adversary is Satan not the child. When you welcome all people, places and things related to the devil and his children of darkness, he will wreck havoc in your life as well as others whom you love very much.
Cast out Satan not the child in Jesus mighty name!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic and Face Your Foe on Confronting the Critics.
Showing posts with label rebel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rebel. Show all posts
Friday, June 16, 2017
Friday, October 21, 2016
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Rebel
But if ye will not obey
the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD,
then shall the hand of the LORD be against you, as it was against
your fathers.
1 Samuel 12:15
Rebels have been around for centuries. During biblical times, there were rebels who rebelled against God. We also see in the Scriptures that rebellious, disobedient, ungodly, godless, unrighteous, and unholy are just some of the many terms used to describe one who is not a follower of God’s commands.
Hollywood created the image of a rebel
as being cool, smart, and fun to be around, but in all actuality the
rebel is nothing more than an angry fool. The rebel gains
like-minded friends because he or she has done some unorthodox things
to win their approval. The Christian is warned in 1 Timothy 2:16
about talking to ungodly people, “Avoid godless chatter, because
those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.”
As you read these lines of text, some
of you maybe saying to yourself, “I know that already. I love the
Lord. I listen to him.” But do you really? Sometimes God isn’t
always speaking directly to you. There are those moments in the day
when he is using people, places and things to indirectly speak to
you. If we are sincerely honest with ourselves, we aren’t always
listening.
I recall a time when God was speaking
to me directly, but I got so busy doing what I wanted that I forgot
what he told me. When I looked back at a journal where I had written
his commands, months later, I was stunned. I found myself doing the
very things that he had warned me against. I couldn’t blame anyone
but myself. No use in trying to organize a campaign to support my
wrong-doing. It wasn’t necessary to call everyone I know and say,
“Look I can make this thing right. Let me just manipulate a few
scriptures to justify my actions.” You see, that’s what we do
when we refuse truth. We start looking for ways to rebel against it.
The correct way to react to our own constructive criticism or when
someone else calls us out on something wrong is to do like David did
in the Bible, “Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness;
let him rebuke me—it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse
it” (Psalm 141:5, NIV).
Others may be saying, “I would love
to hear from the Lord, but I just don’t know when he is speaking to
me.” God supplies enough hearing aids around us that if we don’t
believe we are hearing from him, we can always pick up one of his
hearing aids. There is the Holy Bible (King James Version,) audio,
print media, and even wise counselors that can help you discipline
yourself to hear from the Lord. You must be willing to study the
word of God, pray, and fast daily. Most people don’t set aside the
time, because they are more concerned about what others are doing and
less concerned about what God is doing.
Rebels really are harmless critics in
the sense that they really don’t care what you do, because they are
often protesting about things they are passionate about. If you are
interested in joining the march, the club, the group, or some other
function, then by all means, but if you don’t, the ship keeps
moving.
There are good rebels, the kind that
protest wrong-doing like Jesus when he taught people about his Father
and challenged them to look at how they were living. But then, there
are bad rebels, the kind that are like the troublemaker looking to
start wars without a cause. You heard the phrase, “A rebel without
a cause.” Those bad rebels just don’t like the establishment,
authority figures, rich people, or anyone that is disturbing their
way of life by telling them how to live. These rebels don’t
encourage, uplift, rebuild, or do anything to help others. All they
want is an audience and a mic. “Let’s take down the
establishment…oh by the way, send your payments to XYZ company so
that we can do this again next year,” says the organizer. But you
have to ask yourself, “Before I spend any money, what progress was
made?”
You may have warned family and friends
about different work codes, government laws, school rules, and other
regulations. You wanted them to understand that their rights may be
impacted due to so many changes. You probably tried to get them
involved in a march or two. But to no avail, they weren’t buying
into it. Then when something they liked became no more, they cried,
“Why did they take that away?” Your only response was, “I
tried to warn you.”
You may be the type that works hard
trying to keep people out of trouble, but your audience may be
comprised of many lazy, big mouths who are all talk and no go. You
may have wondered, “Why don’t they just listen? Why do they act
like that? All they had to do was just sign a paper, interview with
the media, stand in the march…” Many people don’t participate
in things because they don’t want the inconvenience, they aren’t
interested, they didn’t create it, or they found that one’s
efforts would be all in vain because there isn’t enough money or
power behind one’s group. So what do they do? They rebel, they do
what they want, how they want, and when they want, and there is never
anything you can do with a made up mind.
In 1 Timothy 1:9-10, God tells us, “But
we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully; Knowing this,
that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and
disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane,
for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers,
For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for
menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any
other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine…”
Rebels who don’t see any good in good
will do things to upset our society. They will steal, kill, lie, and
more. This is why laws must be put in place to maintain a sense of
control over those fools out there who just don’t care about you,
me and any other breathing thing! As much as those who don’t love
or want a relationship with Christ, they have to at least respect the
fact that many laws in our society were founded on biblical
principles more specifically the 10 Commandments. If it wasn’t for
laws, the atheist, agnostic, homosexual, lesbian, and others who are
unsaved and backsliding would not be protected. The Christian,
Muslim, Jew, and others who have a faith also would not be safe.
Those men, women and children of different skin tones and cultures
also wouldn’t be protected if it wasn’t for laws. So while the
rebel has issue with someone telling he or she what to do, this
person must understand that without the law he or she just couldn’t
live comfortably.
I had my share of breaking the rules,
but it doesn’t come without a price. People who mean you well
never quite look at you the same. They don’t quite trust that you
are a child of God despite the evidence that you have stopped many of
your wicked ways. Slip up just a little and someone is saying, “I
told you she hadn’t changed. She is just doing the devil’s
work!”
Satan would love to take a
Christian’s freedoms away. He assumes that if a man or woman has
no freedom, he can’t do much to better society. Rebels believe
that any strides to uplift a community means that someone’s rights
will be taken away. This isn’t always the case. Sometimes those
who are complaining the loudest about rights being taken away are
usually behind the scenes doing something they have no business doing
such as: participating in illegal activities like selling drugs,
receiving money from shady businesses, and accepting bribes and other
things from people running from the law. Most of us know that when
certain civil rights are taken away, people will become depressed,
stressed or even worse kill themselves or others. Therefore, we will
rally to stop certain plans from coming into fruition. But the enemy
will encourage people to become rebels. He will use chaos to create
so-called order; which ultimately strips people of more of their
freedoms while padding the pockets of organizers and most importantly
the master minds behind the scenes.
The enemy is a control freak that
creates the rules for the masses, but those same rules need not apply
to him. He doesn’t mind breaking his own rules to satisfy himself
and/or select individuals whom he favors. I learned this young about
an enemy. When playing many board games where I read the rules and so
did my enemies, I noticed that if the rules were slightly altered
during the game that I or my enemy could manipulate an outcome to
work in our favor. You can get away with this sort of thing for
awhile, but eventually someone is going to get wise to your “game”
and expose you.
We are currently living in a time where
there are many people who realize that they are being manipulated
into buying, investing, supporting, and worshiping things that are
not about God’s business, are not well-meaning, and will definitely
not get you ahead in life. The so-called American dream isn’t all
that it is cracked up to be. Many people refuse to spend a lifetime
investing in a home that they may or may not ever own. Others are
tired of listening to the media hype about what is the next greatest,
best and most wonderful athlete, singer, speaker, movie, food,
clothing, and hair style. Many of us are catching on that the TV
screen, radio, Internet and more are simply tools to get you to spend
more of your hard-earned money to build the income of those at the
top. Meanwhile, a child can’t go to college without a parent
borrowing money, a woman can’t have a baby without getting on some
form of public assistance, a man can’t get a job without
sacrificing many hours away from his family, one’s grandparents
can’t live worry-free in their golden years, because they didn’t
save enough money in their youth and so on and so on. Elitists
manufacture a climate that screams, “Recession!” Then what do we
do? Rather than rebel against spending more money and doing other
wasteful things with our money, we buy more!
Rebels become critics when they can’t
get their way. They don’t want anyone telling them anything about
how to live, but it is okay for them to create speeches that
criticize one’s faith. They believe its okay to mock God’s
people. They find all sorts of ways to keep the Christian faith or
anything that sounds remotely like Christianity out of public view.
When one speaks up about the rebel’s so-called “freedom”
speeches, he or she is shut-down and labeled as being everything but
a child of God. Rebels want to be free to have sex with whoever
whenever, but when they have a disease they want someone to help
them. Rebels want to strap on a gun and protect one’s family, but
when someone gets shot in their home over a minor dispute they want
mercy. Rebels want to travel all over the world and say and do what
they want in another country, but when they are jailed or raped in
the same country, they want someone to administer justice. Rebels
want to run away from home, but when they realize that all that
glitters isn’t gold in the world, they want to come back. Thank
God for mercy! Thank God that he loves us enough to say, “You can
come back home.” But a rebellious critic? He is going to say,
“You did it all wrong! You messed up for all of us! Stay right
where you are. When you run with us, to each his own! But if you
have a little money maybe we can work something out.”
People in the church are rebelling
against leadership right now! Some are doing it for the right
reasons such as: God blessing them with a higher calling elsewhere,
the minister and wife is not living right, the children are running
amuck in the church, and the church is going downhill because God
isn’t blessing it anymore. However, others are rebelling against
the church for the wrong reasons. Some people have been wounded by
fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and others simply don’t want
to live the Christian life anymore. God doesn’t interfere with man
or woman’s free will, but he will protect his sheep from the wolf.
What happens is when some leave the church, they become wolves and
they are just as guilty as the devil and his demons, they try to make
the sheep stray away from the shepherd because they did. God will
not allow a man, woman or child to take his sheep from him. You can
see evidence of this when these same people end up being exposed by
the church, nothing in their lives seem to be working out, they are
often crying out to someone for help, and they are frequently being
misled by dark forces. “There is no real peace in their lives, no
matter how much these wayward sheep smile,” says the Lord as told
to me while preparing this book.
Critics are pleasure seekers and fight against anything that prevents them from doing their own thing.
As long as they are left to do what
pleases them, a critic will be your best friend, but start telling
them why what they are doing is wrong and they don’t want to hear
it. Popular phrases critics like to use: “You do your thing and I
will do mine…Don’t tell me how to live my life…Did I ask you
anything? Don’t start beating me over the head with the Bible…I
already know that…You think you know so much…Don’t judge me…”
Yet, when the shoe is on the other foot, the critic will do the very
thing that they don’t want being done to them—be critical.
Solution:
When the critic objects to your questions or advice, back off. Save your wisdom for someone who will listen or at the very least, debate intelligently.
A look back…
Scripture Reference
Colossians 3:6
Hebrews 4:11
1 Samuel 15
Romans 2:23
When I feel tempted to do things that
go against your word, remind me to live righteously, Lord. Send your
angels to protect me from enemy schemes. Bless me with words of
wisdom to help my brother and sister in Christ who is in error in
Jesus name.
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