Exaggerator

A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.

Proverbs 14:5

 

Exaggerating and lying go hand in hand. You plan to shop for a home, car, or new appliance. There waiting for you at the store with a pleasant smile and a friendly demeanor is none other than the exaggerator! You take a look at the store’s merchandise and there he is saying, “This will definitely work for you it has all the features you ever wanted! We have never received any complaints about this! Buy it now and get an exceptional deal!” says the “Anxious for a Sale” store clerk.

 

I have learned the best places to visit when thinking about making a major purchase is the forum sections and review pages of online stores. These companies just can’t keep up with all the buyers’ comments. After visiting several sites or more, a potential buyer has a good idea whether his or her future purchase is worth the investment. You can also perform this kind of research before apartment touring, grocery store shopping, registering for a class, visiting a city, or eating at a restaurant. There simply is no excuse anymore to fall for what exaggerators in consumer sales tell you anymore.

As much as some of us don’t want to admit or believe it, Christians exaggerate. “It was so bad…I didn’t have any food, no money…I didn’t know where I was going to live!” You may have heard someone tell a story of calamity and how God brought them out; however, not every story someone tells is truth as we all know.

Sometimes a person will fabricate a story for the following reasons: to protect one’s self, improve one’s image, fear what people might say if truth were to be revealed, desire friendship or want support on a matter.  When one distorts the truth, this person sets his or her self up for the critique of the enemy. Satan is all-too-ready to use his demons to pounce on the unsuspecting. The exaggerator becomes nothing more than a liar. Listeners of this story-teller will warn others that he or she can’t be trusted. Eventually, the braggart will lose friends and gain enemies especially if this person has used names in his or her stories.

An exaggerator is a master manipulator and knows how to build up a story to pull on one’s heart strings. Not every exaggerator is concerned about what people think or whether or not they have a friend or foe in their camp. All they choose to focus on is their story and was it convincing enough to render desired results. The exaggerator wants you to feel sorry for him before he cuts your throat. Think of some of the movies you may have watched when a lead character doesn’t have enough courage to kill the enemy. What does the enemy do? He or she waits for the opportunity to strike when the merciful main character isn’t looking. The braggart doesn’t like to be exposed; therefore, when you least expect it, attack he or she will.

Like a child, the exaggerator knows how to cry, scream, and falsify a story to make the listener do something. Sometimes the liar gets what he or she wants and sometimes this person doesn’t. In Acts 5, Ananias and Saphira sold land and took part of the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet. Peter knew that the couple had not given all the monies they had received from the deal. As a result of lying, both died.

Sometimes Christians or people who generally think they are “good” will pretend as if they have made great sacrifices for others. They will list everything they have ever done for everyone; meanwhile, God knows that these same people have not given their best. They paid a bargain price for an inexpensive product or service then allowed others to think that they spent top dollar. They give something away that they claim is high in quality, a name-brand good coveted by others, but in all actuality the item didn’t serve them well and was cheaply made. These exaggerators know they will never buy a certain risky, smelly, broken, or cheap item again for themselves, but it’s okay to give it to someone else while bragging how much he or she assisted an individual or group.

 

Exaggerators are actors. They will pretend that they did the best they could to help someone else while whispering to others how their supposed good deed was all for show. Meanwhile, they keep back their best for self or those closest to them. They will lie and say they gave money to support this cause, borrowed money for that one, and invested their savings to help a group. However, after a little research and a few interviews, you find out these exaggerators may have helped someone years ago with so little money and service, yet what was done was nothing to brag about.  These liars are exposed and no one trusts what they say or do.

The enemy flatters the Christian who isn’t discerning of his evil schemes by the use of many words. “You are a great person to be around, a wonderful family man, a trusted friend, and a wise person.” The exaggerator, who claims to know the Lord, believes that he hears from him and will say many things so as to look like he is wise. But God’s word says, “He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him,” 1 John 2:4.

Just as the exaggerator will make witnesses believe that all is well with someone when it really isn’t, he will also try to convince the believer that a situation with someone else is worse then what it seems particularly if that person is a beloved relative or friend.  In my life I have had my share of people around me who put thoughts in my head when it came to dealing with a challenging situation. These tidbits from others sometimes were irrelevant, non-factual, and discouraging. But the worse advice that anyone can give is the kind that blows things out of proportion! Their words can frazzle already stressed emotions. When confronted or questioned about their so-called advice, the exaggerator would point the finger at me saying things like, “Well you said…so I did…and if I hadn’t done that, then you wouldn’t have gotten XYZ.” The exaggerator does things he or she knows is wrong and when told about those things, he or she has the audacity to criticize!

I don’t ask people to lie for me nor do I encourage it. If someone chooses to embellish events, I have a choice: I can either go along, remain silent or remove myself from the situation. If I go along, I am no better than the exaggerator. If I remain silent and then confront the person later on it, that tends to work for me, but isn't always the best option. But if I speak up about an issue immediately and hold the exaggerator accountable for his or her actions then I am letting him or her know that one’s behavior is not tolerated in my camp.  His or her story doesn't have a chance to spread like wildfire especially when their are witnesses. 

Most of the time, I prefer to keep unnecessary drama out of my life! I don’t need someone to exaggerate my need in order to get something for me or manipulate someone else to force their hand to feed me. But I know people who will do just that for self as well as others! Then once they do it, they say, “You owe me.”

I use to do the following to help those who I knew were exaggerators in order to keep the peace. I would use money, perform a service, offer advice, and even pray to remedy situations I didn’t create—talk about drama! Then what would usually happen is the same person or group I would try to help would turn around and talk negative about me, because they have won friends and money by exaggerating, so those who tell the truth are bad for business. Once confronted, the exaggerator/traitor would act as if it was everyone else’s fault, but their own, for causing the drama or rearrange words so as not to appear guilty. “Well it wasn’t me, I didn’t say that. You misunderstood. I wouldn’t do that. Keep my name out your mouth! You should know I wouldn’t do that!” Drama begets drama, so I started cutting both exaggerating, lying men and women out of my life who had been around for over 15 years after praying and fasting.

There are those who are natural exaggerators. In other words, they don’t need any prompting from others. However, if they choose to do such things, then they ought to pay the consequences especially if they claim to be a child of God, right? When Ananais decided to lie about the price of the land, he got his wife involved which resulted in her death too. After reading this story in the Bible, I realized that it doesn’t matter one’s title, (since God is no respecter of persons, according to Peter) or how much one does for the church and more, it’s best to never get involved in your unsaved, backsliding relatives’ mess especially when it comes to kingdom business! You never know when the Holy Spirit might show up and show out! The same judgment that God places on the exaggerator for his or her inflated stories, if you are an accomplice, he will place on you!

It is very easy for our adversary to tempt a needy man or woman to blow up a problem. I recall when I was in college and needed additional monies for food. I decided to sign up for food stamps, but unfortunately was turned down. I was puzzled by this since I knew others who were in college and were getting food stamps. I later learned they had exaggerated their situations and had left off their college attendance on their applications. With that information, maybe I could have reapplied a year or so later, but I chose not to. I reasoned that if I had to lie to get some food stamps then I didn’t need them, I would just find another way to make the extra money to get more food in the house. Months later, God gave me a concept, "Start typing for people." So that is what I did to obtain extra money for food.  I didn't have to exaggerate a problem or exaggerate my services either to obtain business--God provided! 

The exaggerator may add details, subtract details, or twist a story to tickle the ears of the listener. However, the enemy knows that in time, a discerning child of God will find out the truth, and it is then when a good relationship turns sour between the individuals involved.

Angry critics exaggerate situations to try to quiet or control you.

When an exaggerator is caught red-handed exaggerating a situation making it worse than it is or better than it ought to be, an attempt to share the word of God is shut-down with exaggerated statements made by the critic. The following comments I will share to enlighten you and notice the words in capital letters. These are clues that you have an exaggerator in your presence. People like this love using these words. “Why are you shoving the word of God down my throat? You are ALWAYS talking to me about God! Why do you ALWAYS say that! Do you ALWAYS act like that? You are SO wrong! EVERYONE thinks they are SO MUCH better than me!” The exaggerator’s questions and opinions is designed to get the attention off the lies and on you! Don’t fall for it, stick to the truth! If you must explain something to an exaggerator, say what needs to be said with as little words as possible and move on. In this way, he or she can’t say that “you are spending SO MUCH time talking and you NEVER let me talk and you ALWAYS find fault with me!”

Sometimes controversial statements or humor is used to deflect from the seriousness of the topic. “Oh here she goes with her God talk AGAIN! They think they are SO holy! ALL he does is go to sleep and wake up with God on his mind! Even God says, “I need a break from you, you talk SO MUCH.” Similar statements are used to frustrate the believer and hopefully get one to stop talking about God.

What is the best way to get someone to be quiet about something you no longer want to listen to? Some of you might respond with, “I would just excuse myself and walk away.” While others might tell the speaker, “I’m sorry to cut you off, but I have something else to do.” Well angry critics who despise Christians may say similar things, but also use other strategies coupled with their statements, because they are thinking long term. They don’t want to offer a welcoming environment for a Christian to keep talking about spiritual things. For instance, the angry, exaggerator type of critic may say something like this to his or herself, “I NEVER want to hear this conversation come up AGAIN about God with her, so next time I’m going to let her have it! She’s always talking about him!” The terribly offended exaggerator will act like you are the worst person in their world and will inflate everything you say. He or she will talk about how hurt you made them feel. “My father use to talk that way to me about the Bible and I just can’t take hearing that…You remind me of him! He was so crazy and fanatical about this sort of thing. I have heard that people with mental illnesses lean on religion a lot.” Most likely, you said something that was never intended to hurt this emotional person, but now that you did, he or she may tell others what you said to him or her. Maybe the exaggerator’s father in the previous example wasn’t that bad or maybe he was either way, the unbeliever or backslider is trying to place a guilt trip on the Christian and at the same time insult him or her so that he or she will ultimately stop witnessing.

You may have given someone some small piece of advice recently, and it may have been very convicting to a critic’s spirit. This person may know that he or she is doing wrong. But because you pointed it out, this person will exaggerate something you said, while at the same time, attack you by bringing up your flaws. If the critic blows up how you made him or her feel, you should know that this person is trying to make you feel guilty.

Another tactic your foe might use, is to take a story you may have shared and somehow make it look like what you went through is worse then what it seems. In this way, the critic’s life experiences will appear better than yours. Meanwhile, this exaggerator hopes to make you feel bad for whatever reason and once again, get you to stop talking about God. Now some will honestly claim that some believers in fact do talk about God a lot, no exaggeration here. However, there are ways to address one’s concern without exaggeration, manipulation, and other similar things. A simple request to share more about an interest, a work experience, or a story about family history may help communication be more balanced. But a true follower of Christ, will not leave his teachings at home. Understand that when you decided to walk with the Lord, he became a part of you; therefore, you walk, talk and breathe him. No one can stay in your presence for long and not come away with some comment, statement or question related to spiritual things. Being a new creature in Christ doesn’t mean that you function with him.

Dishonest critics will exaggerate their personal experiences to gain sympathy. They may create a ridiculous story to play on one’s emotions so that they can get the naive to give to them yet again. Why? Because they know most Christians are taught to act unselfishly. However, enemies of God fail to remember that many Christians, give as God leads. An enemy takes God’s words out of context such as, “Ask and ye shall receive.” They will amplify the meaning of certain Scriptures in an attempt to make the believer feel guilty, sad or depressed about what they are or aren’t doing for people. As Christians, we must remind these exaggerators that our final authority in all matters is Jesus. If we are indwelled with the Holy Spirit, then God will use us how he sees fit in spite of man’s personal opinion.

Lastly, critics, who like to exaggerate, might redirect attention you placed on them about their negative behavior back on you; therefore, putting you in a position to want to defend yourself. For many Christians, put in this predicament, they find themselves arguing with critics. Don’t fall for the “I am so hurt. I asked you to help me, but you didn’t” trick by the enemy. The critic might also use a negative statement when he or she sees that his or her plan is not working. Have you ever heard this one, “You Christians are all the same!” hoping that this attack on your faith will cause you to do what they want. This type of action may create a desire within you to prove to them that you do act righteously. Avoid the temptation to play this mind game. People who are masters at getting people to do what they want will try just about anything to keep from being influenced by the person they are trying to control. Did I mention the enemy is controlling too? It is very easy to motivate an exaggerator to manipulate a situation in order to get a desired outcome. Whines, tears, insults, and craziness are just a few ways an exaggerator will get the attention of God’s chosen. Critics hope that unsuspecting individuals will go along with their program by any means necessary.

Solution:

Never give into a critic’s exaggerated claims or accusations. Always stay on point, try to be brief, and question them just as much, if not more, than they are questioning you. As long as the debate is civil, by all means make your point. Let God be your guide, but when you start feeling the rapid heartbeat, heavy breathing, even an ache somewhere in your body, back off. Thank the critic for the opportunity to talk, then go about your activities.

Your most powerful weapon against spiritual warfare is prayer and silence. If you noticed in the Bible, Jesus spent time talking to people who were willing to listen and those who attempted to challenge him, he answered not with preaching, screaming or making threats, but in peace. Jesus used questions, story-telling, silence, miracles, signs, and wonders to make his points. Ask God to use you how he sees fit. Nowadays, we have television, email, books, radio, CDs, digital cameras, DVDs and so much more we can use to prove a point. Sometimes it is better to use things rather than our own mouths to spread God’s messages.

A look back…

You exaggerated stories, opinions, faults and other things to get people to either like, accept, or get something from them in the past. Remember why you felt the need to do these things. Could you be saying or doing something to make someone feel like they need to exaggerate when talking to you? People who are often rejected by you, will feel the need to exaggerate their circumstances.

Scripture Reference

Exodus 20:16

1 Timothy 1:10

2 Timothy 3:16

Proverbs 19:9

Psalm 116:11

John 8:4

Revelation 21:8

Prayer

Sometimes I am tempted to go along with an exaggerator’s boastful claims, bless me with the courage to stand up and speak truthfully when necessary. Assist me with my own desires to be prideful when talking to relatives, friends, and strangers. Help me to discern the sincerely needy from those who are not in Jesus name.