For years, I had to deal with a classmate who was bi-polar while attending high school. I became a target when I spoke negatively about her one day while participating in a summer program not realizing she was mentally ill. I personally didn't like her much and found her a bit odd after getting to know her. I preferred to keep my distance. I confided my honest feelings to someone who I didn't know at the time was a big mouth. When the information reached the girl's ears, she considered me an enemy.
Now most girls would just go on about their business when they know someone doesn't like them, but not that girl! She became relentless in attacking me with every name she could muster behind my back. She was a part of many organizations I had joined. She also found her way to my locker on multiple occasions when I wasn't around to put things on it including Vaseline on the dial of the combination. My honest opinion of her spoken confidentially ended up creating World War III which included meetings with teachers, parents, and a couple of close calls where I wanted to beat her up badly, but the threat of suspension and punishment from parents loomed.
Every now and again I have dreams of this girl and she is peaceful, not causing me any issues in these dreams--we are actually friends. Prior to graduating, she did apologize for all her misdeeds and I offered up an apology for what I said years before and included that I was unaware of her mental condition at the time I talked about her. She was "cool" with me and gave me a hug.
Even though this is an all-too common story of high school girls disliking one another for one reason or another, the same behavior shows up in adults. From the boss who doesn't like feedback from employees so he punishes them subtly to the spouse who becomes visibly irritated with her partner so she looks to find ways to pay him back for how he has made her feel. Sometimes these "issues" last for years. The tension is ongoing. Sometimes it can be so bad that people have constant stomach and head aches as a result--I use to experience such stress even on the elementary school level.
Controlling individuals have followed me during my life, the type who think that they are always right, you are wrong, and if you object their will be consequences to pay. After so many years of dealing with the same personality types, you start to become desensitize to them. You stop caring, arguing, and you find yourself ignoring them the majority of the time. What little they say or much, goes in one ear and out the other. You tell yourself, "There is no sense in saying anything, not even nodding my head, because I don't care..."
There are times where we can't say or do anything with certain people. Scripture quoting does nothing but infuriate some. Spending lots of prayer time concerning certain people begins to take your attention away from more important things you need to praying about and listening to the Lord. Spending money on these people in the hopes that they will treat you different will only keep you broke. Pretending to like or love them when you know you don't, makes you look weak and hypocritical. It is best to tolerate them when you can and when the opportunity comes to be free of your enemy, don't keep them around! When my enemies, including the girl who gave me a hug, made their peace with me, I didn't try to befriend them. Why would I be fool enough to set myself up for future drama? I wished them well and moved on with my life.
Some readers are often having problems with the same people, because deep inside you love drama. There is something about that person's negativity that you feed off of. The more they mistreat you, the worse you get and in some twisted way, you like playing the tough guy or gal role with them. Can I tell you, from personal experience, you will only find yourself one day on the wrong side with God! It is best to free yourself from the troubled individuals. Sure, helping people makes you look good in the sight of certain individuals and businesses, but when no one is watching, what do you really look like?
I thank you all for showing your support by reading this blog. Feel free to subscribe and comment on the blog entries. May God richly bless you with peace, love, and the courage to let your enemy go when the time comes!
Nicholl McGuire
