Seest thou a man wise
in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than of him.
Proverbs 26:12
Some mature, backsliding believers, new
Christians with a college degree, people who love to travel to around
the world, and others who spend much time watching TV and reading
books are usually guilty of the following, acting like Know-It-Alls.
You say, “No, not I…” but most likely, there is someone in your
circle that would disagree. Try asking them one day, “Do I act
like a know-it all?”
Some believers claim to “know that
Scripture already, know that pastor, know this program, know God,
know marriage, know parenting…” But if we all knew so much about
life, love and everything in between, then what on earth do we need
God for? Clearly, none of us knows everything about everything no
matter how much education, experience, or years on this planet.
God doesn’t need nor want the
Know-It-All in his group. We see evidence of this when Satan desired
to be God. What did the Lord do? Cast him and his demons out of
heaven. A foe of the faith acts very much like a Know-It-All when he
or she is called into question about his or her criticism. “Well I
just believe…I have studied many books and watched many programs…I
know about your faith, some of my relatives were ministers. No one
can tell me anything about that, because I know!” The Know-It-All
is ready to do battle when you start to hear that list of “I know”
phrases. He or she is most likely starting to sweat under his or her
armpits. One’s heartbeat is beginning to increase, the voice is
changing, and he or she is ready to defend whatever you throw his or
her way even if God is moving you to speak the most eloquent,
prophetic words, messages of exhortation or rebuke. The “dignified”
type of Know-It-All, educated professional, or someone who simply
doesn’t want to cause much of a stir for fear that his or her
reputation might be tarnished if he or she acts out of line will be
careful what he or she says. Even though this person doesn’t want
to hear anything you and your God has to say, he or she isn’t going
to stoop low with name-calling, loud-mouthing, and cursing. Rather,
he or she is going to either talk in a self-controlled voice posing
many questions and defensive comments, digress, excuse his or
herself, or remain silent the rest of the conversation, that is, if
you don’t do any of these things first. But the unrestrained,
free-thinking type of Know-It-All is going to argue, denounce your
faith, and might even call you, your family, and anyone like you
“liar, confused, false, crazy, weird, strange, loser, uneducated,
ignorant, foolish, stupid…” Parents tend to be the first to act
this way toward children who call their misdeeds into question.
According to Ephesians 6:4, fathers are instructed not to provoke
children to wrath and they are to bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord. But sincerely, how many heads of households
are really doing just that? Looking at the many reports of violence
in schools, disrespectful youths, and argumentative partners, it is
apparent that the father is not living a life influenced by the Holy
Spirit.
When you share Scriptures, wisdom from
the Holy Spirit and personal experience with the Know-It-All, he or
she is busy saying, “I know…yes I know that too. You don’t
have to tell me, listen I have been on this planet long enough to
know…I don’t need you or any one else telling me a thing about my
life.”
So why bother conversing with someone
if he or she isn’t open to receiving advice? Why bother venting
about your situation, asking questions of others and contributing to
the lives of people if all you want is a one-way conversation about
“I, me” and “my?” God showed me things about this walk that
wasn’t always nice, agreeable and friendly, people were going to
fight about all sorts of truth while claiming “to know” something
already which oftentimes, I found they really didn’t know, they
just didn’t want me to think that they didn’t know. Why would
they act this way, because the Lord should they were doing and saying
some things that made them an enemy of Him, not necessarily an enemy
of me. This is where many of us believers fall away from God, we
take what others say personally and don’t permit the Holy Spirit to
work through us during those tension filled moments; instead we act
weakly, play the same game that the foe is playing, or walk away
feeling defeated. The battle isn’t yours or mine with the
Know-It-All, it is God’s!
It isn’t any wonder that some of us
have a hard time making friends, keeping friends and being a good
friend. Our conversations at times are riddled with envy, anger, and
an “I am god” philosophy. We are unable to represent Christ well
and do his will when we refuse to remove “I” off the throne of
God.
Think about this for a moment, you are
invited to attend a function and are having a good time with a few
friends. Along comes someone who listens intently to what you and
your friends are saying. Before you know it, this person interrupts
the conversation with a lot of boasting about what he won’t put up
with and how you shouldn’t do XYZ, “And that’s why I have a
good life because I don’t do this and I don’t do that either!”
He then spouts off about his experience in certain subject areas when
the question is raised, “Well how did you avoid this and what did
you do about that?” After a 45 minute discussion filled with the
Know-It-All’s phrases of how good he is and wrong you are, you and
your friends are put off by this braggart and head for the exit door.
The Know-It-All Backslider type who
“sometimes I feel the Holy Spirit moving,” tends to fall in the
category of liar too. Let me explain. This person may not have much
knowledge in a certain subject matter, but will pretend like he or
she knows a lot even when it is evident that he or she lacks
information to speak about certain subjects. Yet, Satan, with his
prideful schemes, will convince the weak believer or unbeliever, “You
know that already, so why bother listening to this clown? You have
connections. You have been places. You have a degree…” Despite
all the evidence that warns, “Don’t say anything. If you do, you
might end up lying,” the weak-minded will go along with his or her
supposed education on the topic. God tells me he sees this sort of
behavior over and over again even when men and women believe their
thoughts and ways are held in secret. The best defense in any
conversation where an adversary is trying to get the best of you or
with someone who simply wants to know something say, “I need to
learn more about that. I am unfamiliar with that topic. Let me call
someone for help.” The conversation ends before it begins, because
if the devil intended to use someone to upset you with information,
he can’t now because you don’t know anything. Your foe will then
find someone else to distress with his or her topic.
The Know-It-All puffs his or herself
up; rather than listens to his or her audience. When he or she is
not the focal point of a discussion, this person will brag about
their spouse, mother, sister, cousin, daughter and anyone else who
may have had a difficulty and overcame it so as to appear smart about
a subject. “Well that’s nice that your son does so much for you,
my children have been wonderful about helping me too. I use to do a
lot for my parents too. We are a family that loves helping one
another!” The Know-It-All will then add unsolicited tips about
things that no one has asked about which makes him or her come off a
bit strange. “You might want to try talking to your daughter about
this…I think that you would also want to do this too.” Now the
listener is put off, “Did I ask this person for his or her
opinion/suggestion?”
The Lord told me while writing this,
that too much talking, no matter how pleasant, can cause problems—cut
your conversation short. There have been those moments when phone
calls went out at the right time, interruptions occurred when a
discussion should have ended 10 minutes ago, and other experiences
too numerous to mention. Sometimes the enemy played a part, but
there were times that God was working behind the scenes to keep from
something being said that one might later regret.
The braggart, the Know-It-All, the loud
mouth, and the comedic type all talk about people and things
negatively, but refrain from the kind of discussions that are Holy
Spirit led. These individuals, and others like them, will become
defensive when confronted about a wrong thought, joke, comment, etc.
They will try to quiet the person who’s doing the exposing by
pointing out his or her faults while covering their own. “I’m
not that bad. At least I don’t do that…I consider myself a good
person.” the prideful person brags. Not only is the Know-It-All
now a liar, but also a fault-finder too! When confronted about
saying hurtful things about others or rebuked for stirring up
trouble, he or she will try to justify his or her negative reactions
or attempt to rebuke or correct the messenger of the Lord. Usually
the Know-It-All, will place blame on the one who exposed him or her
on a wrong by saying things like, “I didn’t appreciate the way
she said that…He could have spoken to me differently…She should
look at her life; instead of looking at mine! That’s why I don’t
go to church!”
Sometimes we can be just as guilty as
the prideful, braggart type of Know-It-All by talking about
everything but our own sins. In 2 Samuel 12, Prophet Nathan rebukes
King David by telling him a story about a rich man and a poor man.
He tells of a rich man who takes a lamb from a poor man who had
nothing despite the rich man having a very large number of cattle.
David becomes furious about what had happened. But the prophet
explains that the story is about David. “I anointed you king over
Israel….why did you despise the Lord by doing what is evil in his
eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his
wife to be your own…” (2 Sam. 12:9, NIV).
Did David argue with the prophet and
come up with a long list of all he did good in the world in an effort
to justify his evil ways? No. His reply was, “I have sinned
against the Lord” (v. 12). David’s actions caused his enemies to
hate him resulting in God’s judgment. Sometimes we can do things
that will conjure up battles with an enemy. His acknowledgment of
sin didn’t keep God from allowing other men from sleeping with his
wives in broad daylight and it didn’t prevent the child he bore
with Uriah’s wife from dying. David pleaded with God, fasted and
prayed, but his son died anyway. We learn later that God blessed him
with a second son to Bathsheba named Solomon. Despite his past sins,
David didn’t allow them to keep him from continuing to believe and
serve the Lord.
The Know-It-All backslider convinces
his or herself that “I am alright, I am good” even when the truth
of his or her sins are staring him or her right in the face! Rather
than put God on the throne, the proud person puts his or herself on
the throne. The Know-It-All, when approached about an infraction
will use the Holy Bible to support his or her wrong-doing by
cherry-picking various text that he or she agrees with while ignoring
the convicting truths or this person will digress choosing to focus
on others far worse than him or her. As we all know, no one is
good, but the Father! Try telling the Know-It-All that and this
person will most likely agree, but soon to follow is a long resume of
everything he or she has done in life that makes him or her look
knowledgeable and important.
Foes of Christ believers don’t
like to be “outsmarted.” They always want to be right even when
they are wrong.
You may have already learned a lot
about God, spiritual gifts, Christ teachings, and other spiritual
subject matter. The foe isn’t easily impressed. Instead, the more
you know the more likely the enemy will attack you, because he or she
may feel insecure or jealous. Watch your delivery when speaking to
someone that believes he or she is better than you so that this
person can’t accuse you of the same thing.
Your foe may call you a few names,
attempt to discredit and ignore you, gossip about you to others,
exaggerate the details of a confrontation, or possibly start a fight
with you. When King David approached a relative of Saul, he cursed
him and threw stones at him, his officials and troops. (2 Sam.
16:5-14). The king could have ordered this man be murdered. One man
suggested cutting the man’s head off, but David didn’t encourage
such action. Rather he said, “…If he is cursing because the Lord
said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”
(2 Sam. 16:10, NIV). “…Leave him alone; let him curse, for the
Lord has told him to. It may be that the Lord will see my distress
and repay me with the good for the cursing I am receiving today.”
(2 Sam. 16:11, NIV). Interesting, centuries later, this story has
been used as a lesson repeatedly to show believers how might one deal
with a foe.
One who hates the God who lives within
you will refuse truth, correction or rebuke in any form, because they
don’t want their views to be challenged. A foe, a fellow believer,
or someone God has used you to talk to, might not be ready to commit
to anything that may impact his or her life no matter how positive,
so we can walk away in peace knowing that we said or did all that God
wanted us to do for the time being. Know-It-All critics pride
themselves on their accomplishments and give sub-par praise to God
for all the things that he has done in their lives.
Whatever your message, whether one of
uplift, change, or warning, critics will find a way around
acknowledging that your advice is good for one’s soul. They may
even use your tips and never give credit where credit is due. Even
worse, because backsliding Know-It-All critics don’t understand you
and how God is using you to help them, they may misinterpret your
attitude and mannerisms for being arrogant, rude, obnoxious,
self-righteous, controlling or worse demonic. This is why earlier I
warned watch your delivery. If you don’t know how to “tone down”
your education or spiritual experiences for different audiences when
dealing with people such as the poor, uneducated, or those that are
not believers in spiritual giftings, then you are headed for trouble!
In other words, speak so that others may be able to understand
you—meet the unsaved and backslider on their levels. Most of all,
pray in your mind while they are insulting you and ask God whether
you should be sharing certain aspects of your spiritual walk with
them. Some things are only meant to be shared between you and God
and no one else. Notice, David didn’t stay in the critic’s
presence trying to change the mind of this man who was still cursing
him and showering him with dirt after he went away. Instead, David
believed God had something to do with the man disrespecting him and
looked on the brighter side that God might repay the king with good.
Solution:
Too much education tends to make some
people act like they are indeed better than others. If you have ever
talked to a child for a long period of time, you may notice he or she
will begin to feel bored. His or her little mind just isn’t
catching hold to what you are saying. You might start talking down
to the child, slowing your speech, even acting impatient or
frustrated with him or her because the little person has
misunderstood you. When a child notices an adult acting in these
ways with him or her, eventually they stop listening. Well, this
same concept holds true when we talk to adults, if we consider
ourselves very knowledgeable about a subject, we may talk far too
much about it, get easily irritated when someone isn’t catching on,
argue, cut people off in conversation, or trail off in subject areas
the person listening has no understanding. When we notice ourselves
doing this, we have to learn to bring our conversation back home—stay
focused on the topic at hand. We also have to remember to end the
conversation as soon as possible, so as to give the person listening
time to digest what he or she has heard. Otherwise, if we don’t
allow that quiet time, rest assured the critic will look at us with a
confused expression, start sighing, make excuses to leave our
presence, complain about “you’re talking too much” or become
distracted with something else.
A look back…
You may have a bachelor, masters and/or
a doctorate degree in a wide variety of subjects and you may even
talk like it. When you bombard unbelievers with a large amount of
information and explain your points using words that someone would
have to use a dictionary to look up, this can easily frustrate them.
Think of a time when you were confused
by someone who couldn’t explain a simple message in laymen’s
terms. You may not have wanted to bother to read your Bible because
what they were telling you was just too complex to understand. Learn
to adjust your message for different audiences.
Scripture Reference
Proverbs 14:12
Proverbs 20:6
Proverbs 30:12
Luke 16:15
Isaiah 64:6
Matthew 23:30
Prayer
Lord, please forgive me for not
delivering your messages in ways that are easily understood with
patience and love. You have called me to teach the unbeliever and
encourage my brother and sister in Christ. Please help me to be a
better teacher in Jesus name.
