Know-It-All

Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than of him. Proverbs 26:12

Some mature, backsliding believers, new Christians with a college degree, people who love to travel to around the world, and others who spend much time watching TV and reading books are usually guilty of the following, acting like Know-It-Alls. You say, “No, not I…” but most likely, there is someone in your circle that would disagree. Try asking them one day, “Do I act like a know-it all?”

Some believers claim to “know that Scripture already, know that pastor, know this program, know God, know marriage, know parenting…” But if we all knew so much about life, love and everything in between, then what on earth do we need God for? Clearly, none of us knows everything about everything no matter how much education, experience, or years on this planet.

God doesn’t need nor want the Know-It-All in his group. We see evidence of this when Satan desired to be God. What did the Lord do? Cast him and his demons out of heaven. A foe of the faith acts very much like a Know-It-All when he or she is called into question about his or her criticism. “Well I just believe…I have studied many books and watched many programs…I know about your faith, some of my relatives were ministers. No one can tell me anything about that, because I know!” The Know-It-All is ready to do battle when you start to hear that list of “I know” phrases. He or she is most likely starting to sweat under his or her armpits. One’s heartbeat is beginning to increase, the voice is changing, and he or she is ready to defend whatever you throw his or her way even if God is moving you to speak the most eloquent, prophetic words, messages of exhortation or rebuke. The “dignified” type of Know-It-All, educated professional, or someone who simply doesn’t want to cause much of a stir for fear that his or her reputation might be tarnished if he or she acts out of line will be careful what he or she says. Even though this person doesn’t want to hear anything you and your God has to say, he or she isn’t going to stoop low with name-calling, loud-mouthing, and cursing. Rather, he or she is going to either talk in a self-controlled voice posing many questions and defensive comments, digress, excuse his or herself, or remain silent the rest of the conversation, that is, if you don’t do any of these things first. But the unrestrained, free-thinking type of Know-It-All is going to argue, denounce your faith, and might even call you, your family, and anyone like you “liar, confused, false, crazy, weird, strange, loser, uneducated, ignorant, foolish, stupid…” Parents tend to be the first to act this way toward children who call their misdeeds into question. According to Ephesians 6:4, fathers are instructed not to provoke children to wrath and they are to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. But sincerely, how many heads of households are really doing just that? Looking at the many reports of violence in schools, disrespectful youths, and argumentative partners, it is apparent that the father is not living a life influenced by the Holy Spirit.

When you share Scriptures, wisdom from the Holy Spirit and personal experience with the Know-It-All, he or she is busy saying, “I know…yes I know that too. You don’t have to tell me, listen I have been on this planet long enough to know…I don’t need you or any one else telling me a thing about my life.”

So why bother conversing with someone if he or she isn’t open to receiving advice? Why bother venting about your situation, asking questions of others and contributing to the lives of people if all you want is a one-way conversation about “I, me” and “my?” God showed me things about this walk that wasn’t always nice, agreeable and friendly, people were going to fight about all sorts of truth while claiming “to know” something already which oftentimes, I found they really didn’t know, they just didn’t want me to think that they didn’t know. Why would they act this way, because the Lord should they were doing and saying some things that made them an enemy of Him, not necessarily an enemy of me. This is where many of us believers fall away from God, we take what others say personally and don’t permit the Holy Spirit to work through us during those tension filled moments; instead we act weakly, play the same game that the foe is playing, or walk away feeling defeated. The battle isn’t yours or mine with the Know-It-All, it is God’s!

It isn’t any wonder that some of us have a hard time making friends, keeping friends and being a good friend. Our conversations at times are riddled with envy, anger, and an “I am god” philosophy. We are unable to represent Christ well and do his will when we refuse to remove “I” off the throne of God.

Think about this for a moment, you are invited to attend a function and are having a good time with a few friends. Along comes someone who listens intently to what you and your friends are saying. Before you know it, this person interrupts the conversation with a lot of boasting about what he won’t put up with and how you shouldn’t do XYZ, “And that’s why I have a good life because I don’t do this and I don’t do that either!” He then spouts off about his experience in certain subject areas when the question is raised, “Well how did you avoid this and what did you do about that?” After a 45 minute discussion filled with the Know-It-All’s phrases of how good he is and wrong you are, you and your friends are put off by this braggart and head for the exit door.

The Know-It-All Backslider type who “sometimes I feel the Holy Spirit moving,” tends to fall in the category of liar too. Let me explain. This person may not have much knowledge in a certain subject matter, but will pretend like he or she knows a lot even when it is evident that he or she lacks information to speak about certain subjects. Yet, Satan, with his prideful schemes, will convince the weak believer or unbeliever, “You know that already, so why bother listening to this clown? You have connections. You have been places. You have a degree…” Despite all the evidence that warns, “Don’t say anything. If you do, you might end up lying,” the weak-minded will go along with his or her supposed education on the topic. God tells me he sees this sort of behavior over and over again even when men and women believe their thoughts and ways are held in secret. The best defense in any conversation where an adversary is trying to get the best of you or with someone who simply wants to know something say, “I need to learn more about that. I am unfamiliar with that topic. Let me call someone for help.” The conversation ends before it begins, because if the devil intended to use someone to upset you with information, he can’t now because you don’t know anything. Your foe will then find someone else to distress with his or her topic.

The Know-It-All puffs his or herself up; rather than listens to his or her audience. When he or she is not the focal point of a discussion, this person will brag about their spouse, mother, sister, cousin, daughter and anyone else who may have had a difficulty and overcame it so as to appear smart about a subject. “Well that’s nice that your son does so much for you, my children have been wonderful about helping me too. I use to do a lot for my parents too. We are a family that loves helping one another!” The Know-It-All will then add unsolicited tips about things that no one has asked about which makes him or her come off a bit strange. “You might want to try talking to your daughter about this…I think that you would also want to do this too.” Now the listener is put off, “Did I ask this person for his or her opinion/suggestion?”

The Lord told me while writing this, that too much talking, no matter how pleasant, can cause problems—cut your conversation short. There have been those moments when phone calls went out at the right time, interruptions occurred when a discussion should have ended 10 minutes ago, and other experiences too numerous to mention. Sometimes the enemy played a part, but there were times that God was working behind the scenes to keep from something being said that one might later regret.

The braggart, the Know-It-All, the loud mouth, and the comedic type all talk about people and things negatively, but refrain from the kind of discussions that are Holy Spirit led. These individuals, and others like them, will become defensive when confronted about a wrong thought, joke, comment, etc. They will try to quiet the person who’s doing the exposing by pointing out his or her faults while covering their own. “I’m not that bad. At least I don’t do that…I consider myself a good person.” the prideful person brags. Not only is the Know-It-All now a liar, but also a fault-finder too! When confronted about saying hurtful things about others or rebuked for stirring up trouble, he or she will try to justify his or her negative reactions or attempt to rebuke or correct the messenger of the Lord. Usually the Know-It-All, will place blame on the one who exposed him or her on a wrong by saying things like, “I didn’t appreciate the way she said that…He could have spoken to me differently…She should look at her life; instead of looking at mine! That’s why I don’t go to church!”

Sometimes we can be just as guilty as the prideful, braggart type of Know-It-All by talking about everything but our own sins. In 2 Samuel 12, Prophet Nathan rebukes King David by telling him a story about a rich man and a poor man. He tells of a rich man who takes a lamb from a poor man who had nothing despite the rich man having a very large number of cattle. David becomes furious about what had happened. But the prophet explains that the story is about David. “I anointed you king over Israel….why did you despise the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own…” (2 Sam. 12:9, NIV).

Did David argue with the prophet and come up with a long list of all he did good in the world in an effort to justify his evil ways? No. His reply was, “I have sinned against the Lord” (v. 12). David’s actions caused his enemies to hate him resulting in God’s judgment. Sometimes we can do things that will conjure up battles with an enemy. His acknowledgment of sin didn’t keep God from allowing other men from sleeping with his wives in broad daylight and it didn’t prevent the child he bore with Uriah’s wife from dying. David pleaded with God, fasted and prayed, but his son died anyway. We learn later that God blessed him with a second son to Bathsheba named Solomon. Despite his past sins, David didn’t allow them to keep him from continuing to believe and serve the Lord.

The Know-It-All backslider convinces his or herself that “I am alright, I am good” even when the truth of his or her sins are staring him or her right in the face! Rather than put God on the throne, the proud person puts his or herself on the throne. The Know-It-All, when approached about an infraction will use the Holy Bible to support his or her wrong-doing by cherry-picking various text that he or she agrees with while ignoring the convicting truths or this person will digress choosing to focus on others far worse than him or her. As we all know, no one is good, but the Father! Try telling the Know-It-All that and this person will most likely agree, but soon to follow is a long resume of everything he or she has done in life that makes him or her look knowledgeable and important.

Foes of Christ believers don’t like to be “outsmarted.” They always want to be right even when they are wrong.

You may have already learned a lot about God, spiritual gifts, Christ teachings, and other spiritual subject matter. The foe isn’t easily impressed. Instead, the more you know the more likely the enemy will attack you, because he or she may feel insecure or jealous. Watch your delivery when speaking to someone that believes he or she is better than you so that this person can’t accuse you of the same thing.

Your foe may call you a few names, attempt to discredit and ignore you, gossip about you to others, exaggerate the details of a confrontation, or possibly start a fight with you. When King David approached a relative of Saul, he cursed him and threw stones at him, his officials and troops. (2 Sam. 16:5-14). The king could have ordered this man be murdered. One man suggested cutting the man’s head off, but David didn’t encourage such action. Rather he said, “…If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’” (2 Sam. 16:10, NIV). “…Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to. It may be that the Lord will see my distress and repay me with the good for the cursing I am receiving today.” (2 Sam. 16:11, NIV). Interesting, centuries later, this story has been used as a lesson repeatedly to show believers how might one deal with a foe.

One who hates the God who lives within you will refuse truth, correction or rebuke in any form, because they don’t want their views to be challenged. A foe, a fellow believer, or someone God has used you to talk to, might not be ready to commit to anything that may impact his or her life no matter how positive, so we can walk away in peace knowing that we said or did all that God wanted us to do for the time being. Know-It-All critics pride themselves on their accomplishments and give sub-par praise to God for all the things that he has done in their lives.

Whatever your message, whether one of uplift, change, or warning, critics will find a way around acknowledging that your advice is good for one’s soul. They may even use your tips and never give credit where credit is due. Even worse, because backsliding Know-It-All critics don’t understand you and how God is using you to help them, they may misinterpret your attitude and mannerisms for being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, self-righteous, controlling or worse demonic. This is why earlier I warned watch your delivery. If you don’t know how to “tone down” your education or spiritual experiences for different audiences when dealing with people such as the poor, uneducated, or those that are not believers in spiritual giftings, then you are headed for trouble! In other words, speak so that others may be able to understand you—meet the unsaved and backslider on their levels. Most of all, pray in your mind while they are insulting you and ask God whether you should be sharing certain aspects of your spiritual walk with them. Some things are only meant to be shared between you and God and no one else. Notice, David didn’t stay in the critic’s presence trying to change the mind of this man who was still cursing him and showering him with dirt after he went away. Instead, David believed God had something to do with the man disrespecting him and looked on the brighter side that God might repay the king with good.

 

Solution:

Too much education tends to make some people act like they are indeed better than others. If you have ever talked to a child for a long period of time, you may notice he or she will begin to feel bored. His or her little mind just isn’t catching hold to what you are saying. You might start talking down to the child, slowing your speech, even acting impatient or frustrated with him or her because the little person has misunderstood you. When a child notices an adult acting in these ways with him or her, eventually they stop listening. Well, this same concept holds true when we talk to adults, if we consider ourselves very knowledgeable about a subject, we may talk far too much about it, get easily irritated when someone isn’t catching on, argue, cut people off in conversation, or trail off in subject areas the person listening has no understanding. When we notice ourselves doing this, we have to learn to bring our conversation back home—stay focused on the topic at hand. We also have to remember to end the conversation as soon as possible, so as to give the person listening time to digest what he or she has heard. Otherwise, if we don’t allow that quiet time, rest assured the critic will look at us with a confused expression, start sighing, make excuses to leave our presence, complain about “you’re talking too much” or become distracted with something else.

A look back…

You may have a bachelor, masters and/or a doctorate degree in a wide variety of subjects and you may even talk like it. When you bombard unbelievers with a large amount of information and explain your points using words that someone would have to use a dictionary to look up, this can easily frustrate them.

Think of a time when you were confused by someone who couldn’t explain a simple message in laymen’s terms. You may not have wanted to bother to read your Bible because what they were telling you was just too complex to understand. Learn to adjust your message for different audiences.

Scripture Reference

Proverbs 14:12

Proverbs 20:6

Proverbs 30:12

Luke 16:15

Isaiah 64:6

Matthew 23:30

Prayer

Lord, please forgive me for not delivering your messages in ways that are easily understood with patience and love. You have called me to teach the unbeliever and encourage my brother and sister in Christ. Please help me to be a better teacher in Jesus name.