Lying Lips

Should you confront someone you think is lying to you?

Why Bother to Lie? Recognizing the Liar Within and Around You

One of the worst character flaws of some, who claim to love the Lord and be obedient to his will, is the liar!  This person will not hesitate to story-tell.  No remorse and no apology follows the cold-hearted liar.  He tells stories for no apparent reason.  However, when in a room with some of these liars who don't have to worry over their public reputation sometimes they will reveal that they lied to avoid public shame, discord, or future challenges.

A woman lies to protect her title because she has a long standing history with the church while she hopes to obtain something from those she thinks she has fooled with her false stories.  A man tells falsehoods because he believes he will stand out from the rest before a group he is trying to impress.  Most importantly, he uses his lies to cover up the truth about who he really is underneath his smile, flattery, and gift-giving.

The liar has secrets.  He or she manufacturers a story with the help of hell's angels whether these people choose to admit working for the devil or not.  They think only of self and worry over those who may be impacted by their lies later.

The unsaved and saved don't mind lying to the Christian especially if the person cares, likes or dislikes his or her victim.  If he or she believes in the lie and why he or she should tell it, even if one has been a Christian for years, the individual is going to tell it!

People will excuse the liar because of his or her past good deeds, how the person treats others overall positively, health issues, lack of material wealth, or whatever other reason to make one still maintain a relationship with a liar.  However, to be in the story-tellers presence is risky and most likely one will be impacted by his or her gossip.  Avoid spreading the liar's stories and do remember that witnesses might hold you accountable in the future--guilty by association.

Some common signs about liars, check yourself:

1.  Talking so fast due to emotion, one will speak too quickly and out comes a statement or comment that is incorrect about a person or an event.  Rather than make the statement right at that very moment, he or she will keep telling a story as if it is factual when it is not.

2.  When a situation occurs when one can speak up and tell the truth, the liar avoids saying anything to appear as if everything is okay when it is not.

3.  Liars will digress when communicating a story if they think one is catching on to their lie or advise the listener "not to say anything" knowing full well they have said something untruthful to someone or a group.

4.  Liars exaggerate, make up so-called facts, and blame others when they know they are at fault.

5.  Dishonest people will avoid settings where they might be exposed.  They don't like to look people in the eye, sit down across from them, or stand still and converse.  Many are often on the move, busy, or act as if everything else is more important than having a serious conversation with others.

Solution:

When one has to confront a liar, be sure to have proof.   It is frivolous do tell someone he or she is lying if you can't prove anything.  If the liar acts as if he or she is innocent, don't work yourself up by yelling, threatening physical violence or saying or doing other things that will just make the liar look as if he or she is better than you before observants.  Maintain self-control and deal with issues with a witness or two privately.  Consider recording conversations noting dates and times you spoke with him or her.  This way in the future the person can't say he or she never spoke to you about an incident. 

A look back...

Do you recall a time when you lied?  How did the person or group react to your lie?  As much as we would like to think that we are all perfect and never do wrong, God will show us the truth about ourselves!  Confess sin and repent for the sins you know about and the sins you don't this day.  It may have been what one might consider a little fib about money spent or a huge lie that might cost you your family or job.  Give your burden over to the Lord!  Make wrongs right whenever you can.  Trust in God to lead you on what to say in the future and how to behave.

Scripture Reference (taken from NIV)

A wicked person listens to deceitful lips; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue. Proverbs 17:4

Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.  Proverbs 30:6

Whoever says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. 1 John 2:4

Prayer

Protect me Oh Lord from the mouth of liars!  Give me the courage, knowledge and wisdom to deal with liars when the time comes.  I ask in Jesus name to forgive me of any lies I have told and keep me from the temptation to lie again.

Commentary Exposing Lies, Telling the Truth

On Confronting the Liar

You hear that someone has either lied about something, lied on you, or is planning to tell a lie.  You know that this person has a shady past when it comes to telling the truth.  You also know that if you should confront this person about what you know, you just might have to deal with some sort of backlash in the future.  Liars avoid confrontation.  They don’t want to admit to lies and they don’t want anyone shooting holes in their stories.

 

Nowadays, when we have so many liars in mainstream media and elsewhere, if one has a huge amount of followers, he or she can get away with telling lies because so many believe one’s stories.  If you present truth in front of one’s fan-base, you are most likely treated like an enemy.  People who are in love with their favorite relative’s/mentor’s/best friend’s/idol’s product, service, and even his or her look will not believe any unfavorable truths about the individual such as: how mean they are to others, what wicked deeds they have committed, and anything else deemed wrong or negative.  Rather, they want truth-seekers and tellers to look the other way, talk nicely and don’t ruffle anyone’s feathers.  Basically, let the liar say what he or she wants and just pray for him or her.  The adoring fan has a love affair with how the liar makes his or her flesh feel, yet has no interest in opening his or her eyes to the liar’s schemes.

Liars know how to manipulate people into believing they are right and others are wrong by doing things like: stating how credible they are, how many people love and support them, what they have done for others and what others have done for them, and they also know how to threaten to harm others if need be.  For instance, a lying Christian type will say the kind of prayers that don’t necessarily build a person up, but causes them unnecessary worry, confusion, and other nerve-racking feelings.  For the liar, God sits at his or her feet and is called upon when he or she really needs something; otherwise, the deceptive one runs his or her life the way he or she wants while working hard to achieve power, fame, or fortune.

 

The Evil One has a field day with the lying Christian type (of course one can’t be a sincere believer in Christ and have a career of lying, but it happens).  Satan knows this believer, who announces to everyone how much he loves God but does his dirt, has one foot on holy ground while the other stands at hell’s gate.  So he uses the liar’s so-called faith in such a way that moves others to want to redirect their focus on God’s will and on to the issue or thing that is causing them much sadness, worry, upset, etc. in this way the weak will begin to trust in the liar’s prayers, conversation, money, and anything else the liar is willing to share so as to keep the relationship going.

 

The liar’s way of comforting others is by telling them stories, usually exaggerated, made up, or lacking in details.  This manipulator says things he or she believes a hurting person wants to hear, while moving the individual to do whatever he or she wants.  This deceptive individual desires to win friends in whatever way possible, because he or she has had a long history of lying and then being exposed by others; therefore, the network of family and associates must be replenished.  What better way to keep the unsuspecting close to him or her is to study people’s personal and professional lives then create stories that will appear as if they benefit the liar’s audience, when in reality the only one who truly gains anything from the relationship/partnership is the liar.

Now here is when things take an ugly turn between liar and victim.  For instance, a circumstance comes up and the liar is caught deceiving others.  This deceptive person is going to find various ways to save his or her reputation with yet another story to keep that relative, friend, co-worker, or some other person close.  The gullible type of victim will just accept whatever the story or excuse the liar gives him or her.  However, the discerning child of God will not readily believe what the liar is saying until he or she puts this person through a series of tests.  The first will most likely have something to do with the liar’s previous stories as well as other information related to the recent circumstance.  It is important that the believer exercises self-control when talking to a liar otherwise the individual will shut down.  

The believer will be pointing out what facts simply don’t add up in the liar’s stories.  He or she will be questioned and observed by the believer or anyone or group who feels betrayed.  The believer will also pray for the liar whether in his or her presence or elsewhere.  He or she will seek God for revelation—an act that most liars fear because they know God will expose them.  Depending on what the results are from the exchange will determine whether the liar will remain in the victim’s life.  Some people have no choice, at least for a time, when it comes to ousting a liar out of his or her inner circle.  Sometimes the liar is a mother, a boss, or marriage partner, so unless there is something terribly going wrong with this person to the point that it is destroying other’s lives, he or she may still have access to the one who has been lied to, but the relationship most likely will be strained for a time.  It is up to the believer to draw near to the Lord, protect his or her heart, and be discerning and wise when dealing with liars.

Nicholl McGuire