Not Every Confrontation is Worth Fighting

Confrontation happens and it can't always be avoided.  A foe doesn't want to have to deal with confrontation if he or she can persuade you into giving he or she whatever they want.  When I came across a foe, I found that just so long as I did what was expected of me I was in her good graces, but if I made a mistake, caused an inconvenience, or simply didn't respond to her in the way that she wanted, she would talk negatively behind my back to the one who actually liked me.

The day came when I ended up having to confront her via email first since I didn't see her due to a schedule conflict about a situation.  The matter was brought up by her via email so that she had documentation, I wasn't stupid, so I kept the dialogue going that way.  Eventually, I saw her in-person as well as the person she cc'd and explained my concern.  Of course, she made light of it.  I was willing to resolve the situation, but "no problem" was the typical response.  Sure, right!

Before long, I prayed about matters that came up and I realized that I no longer wanted to be a part of the immature shenanigans the individual came up with.  I figured out she felt threatened that I was going to be promoted and jealous of the way our manager treated me that is why she started on the course to nit-pick and cause unnecessary conflict.  Had I saw more benefit in that opportunity, I would have been facing that foe a lot.  I picked my battles with her and since then others. 

Not every verbal statement or physical confrontation is worth fighting.  There are times when you must stand-down if you love your freedom, want to keep your peace of mind, and obtain future blessings!

No matter what you are going through or what is ahead, above everything else, keep your cool!  You can do the following:

1)  Take a long pause before responding to an email.  Consult with a knowledgeable and trustworthy counselor about the matter that has come up.

2)  Don't bother to talk immediately about it while angry.  You may end up being angry with the person or people around you who just might advise, "Calm down, it's not that serious."

3)  Walk.  Move away from the tense environment.  Take slow breaths while you are out and about.

4)  If you are spiritual, pray.  What sense is it to have a personal faith if you don't use it.

5)  Think of ways to resolve the conflict before you write that email, make arrangements to meet, or pick up the phone.

6)  Watch your tone of voice when speaking to the individual or group.

7)  Smile as if you already won the battle :)  God got your back!

Also, keep in mind never battle with anyone when you are tired, hungry, sick, grieving, or worse have too many irons in the fire already.  You are guaranteed to walk away feeling defeated.

Nicholl McGuire

Let's Not Talk About It

The Unexpected Dispute with that One You Thought was Kind

"I didn't anticipate that I would be in an argument with a person who appeared to be friendly, trusting, and all-too-willing to help me," says the one within after you have had an unexpected dispute.

People will do a flip on you.  They will show their true colors, dark side, or ugly selves when certain triggers are pushed.  How do you know what those triggers are when someone has spent years hiding their evil ways?  You don't.  This is why Christians must wear spiritual armor and stay in prayer wherever they might go.  Sometimes we sleep on those who appear beautiful but have troubled minds.  Trouble people who walk this earth with a lot of skeletons in their closets.

Behind a gated community, in a house on a hill, behind the closed doors of a church, or out in a rural community where everyone knows one another, you are ill-prepared for those sudden demons that arise within some individuals.  Years of avoiding "those people" and then without notice you are taken aback by that one who you thought was really wasn't.  The yelling, cursing, crazy-making behaviors, and lies all wrapped up in one and we think, "Where is God in all of this?"

Sometimes it feels like our Father has left us alone to fight the bully.  We see bystanders looking at us strangely during a disagreement.  We are shocked, saddened, shamed, or raging on the inside.  "Why me, Lord?  I thought I had your favor today?" says the hurt believer.

The pastor, his or her staff, the brother or sister in Christ, and even the lost will be challenged and through it all, we are still supposed to stand.  We have families, jobs, and a variety of responsibilities, we might be wounded by Satan, yet we still live on!  Strong-minded believers talk themselves out of wallowing in self-pity.  They cut conversations short with those who encourage negative feelings and declare revenge.  They find safe places to let out wild emotions.  Then they trust God and are better prepared for the next battle.  God's children still talk/walk/cry to Him, but Satan's minions look to surprise their next victim.  No one knows our hearts like Jesus and those that say, "You should have, could have..." simply haven't walked in your shoes, at least not yet.  Their days of trial are coming. Avoid the temptation to argue or project your anger onto them.  If anyone knew struggle on this earth that would be Jesus, remember Him?

The road is rough at times walking with God, but the key is to remain on it!  The storms will come, the delays will arrive, your patience will be tested, and hate will arise, and God still is...

Know your heavenly Father, Saint.  He won't put anymore on us than we can bear.

Nicholl McGuire
Twitter @nichollmcguire
YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

Don't Lose Courage - You Don't Have to Look Them in the Eyes

You can make a powerful statement and still stand strong even when you aren't looking at your foe in his or her face.  If anything, it frustrates the enemy when you don't care enough about what the individual is saying to be attentive to it.  Why bother making eye contact when a manipulative, angry, or crazy person has insulted you?


Give the disturbed one no weapon to form against you including eyes of fire!  Don't permit the evil within another human being that is so far from a righteous God, to destroy you--to tempt you to do something you might regret!  If one sincerely believes in a heavenly Creator then he or she would be wise to call on The One who is beyond human intelligence, power, and fame --the Master of all masters, the Warrior of all warriors--the great I AM!


Deceased wise teachers, leaders, prophets, and others didn't go into a fight without a spiritual weapon.  The enemy knows that a man or woman who is connected to God, the Son and the Holy Ghost has the potential to be greater than he who is in the world--that is if he or she knows the truth: the weapons of our warfare are not carnal!  Satan and his minions work night and day to keep you from fully realizing this.  They dilute truth, hide it, keep it off the front pages of websites, out of printed media on best-seller lists, and away from the mouths of influential people in our modern day society.


The niche market works well for the trained puppet, he or she will not deviate from scripts and will stay focused on one thing at a time while oblivious to the world around him or her unless it is somehow connected to his niche.  Satan loves keeping believers in boxes!  "Come out the box," the Lord says. 


The backslider, unsaved, lost and confused most likely is aware how a "typical" Christian will react to his or her negative news, nasty behavior, rude comments, etc. since these ungodly types sometimes attend church too.  However, the radical type, the Jesus follower, one who flies under the radar, evil people never know which way children of light are coming, what battle might believers lead, or where will God's people end up.  Some are so disturbed with worry that a Christian might show up and show out with his or her truth that they jump the gun, create false stories, damage reputations, etc. in an attempt to take Christians off this planet for no real reasons.


While you are avoiding eye contact during a verbal battle with the evil one's workers, don't be tempted to spill everything you know, hold back some truth from them, remain quiet sometimes like Jesus did especially when his death was near, and trust that God will be with you every step of the way.  Remember the battle is not yours!


God bless.


Nicholl McGuire

Truth: It Hurts

When Facing a Foe...Stand Up for What is Right

From bullies to an argumentative partner, when facing these people, who refuse to do what is right ie.) 10 Commandments for starters, you will not always deal with the confrontation in a way that will appear mature, logical, and calm; therefore don't beat yourself up about it! 

Your face will turn red, your ears will feel hot, your heart will race, your voice will elevate, and you might hit a wall or throw something.  But when the anger passes, did you make your point?  Will things change?  Will you do some things differently?

There may be another misunderstanding and another until one day someone is going to wave the white flag and say, "I'm done...I can't fight anymore...I want to do right...I am sick of the war..."  Whatever brings a person to the point where he or she walks away or dedicates his or her self to change, at least you know you didn't compromise righteous beliefs and didn't allow someone to abuse or misuse you.

Whatever you do, keep your faith, pray and don't do anything that will cause the person harm or put you in jail.

Nicholl McGuire, listen to audio at http://www.youtube.com/nmenterprise7 

Confronting One's Foe on His or Her Wicked Strategies

In Know Your Enemy: The Christian’s Critic I list and explain over 30 strategies that wicked critic’s use to get you off track when it comes to walking with the Lord and doing his will. Now in this book, I will provide suggestions on how you can deal with the difficult person when he or she approaches you.

When the wicked critic does the following, you stand by responding to his or her strategies like this:

Attempt to gain your trust – you will ask more questions about him or her and talk less about self.

Make an offer you won’t refuse – delay the request to make a commitment and pray about it.

Lay a trap – you will stand guard. Being careful not to prematurely sign or say anything or visit a home or office without a witness. Avoid talking about serious matters (especially involving others) over the phone when you can talk in person. Be mindful of someone spying on you, three party phone services and recording devices. Don’t say anything in writing ie.) email, text and mail that could be used against you later.

Look for trouble – when you are aware that you have an enemy, he or she will attempt to draw you into conversations or perform actions that may cause problems later for you at home, work, church or elsewhere. Therefore, don’t do or say anything without checking with management, partner, family, friends, workers, or others first.

Provoke you to anger – when you know that your heart is beating, heat is rising and head is pounding, excuse yourself, get busy or walk away. If the issue can be settled by using a third party, do it. If the situation is unnecessary and doesn’t require any action on your part, ignore this person. If he or she persists, get law enforcement involved.

Prey on the novice – time to start studying. When an enemy seeks to get you to do something you may not be knowledgeable about, you might want to learn why it is so important for her or him to involve you.

Tempt you again – you may have resisted the devil in the past, but he will come again. The next time have a plan of escape. Ask yourself, “What will I do/say when he tells me this? How might I get out of the situation? What can I do to protect myself and keep this person from bothering me again with the same issue?”

Pretend to love you – sometimes we can’t see when a person is acting like he or she cares about us. Test the spirit. Ask the kind of questions that relate to feelings. Do a few nice things for this person and watch how he or she responds.

Use those closest to you – people don’t know whether someone likes or dislikes you if you never say anything especially if your enemy is a good actor. Therefore, when the enemy attempts to “get in” with someone who is close to you, be sure that you expose him or her and provide proof whenever possible, so that the individuals who think “but he/she is so nice...” will be convinced that your enemy is definitely no friend of yours.

Act as if he/she knows you so well – it can be upsetting when someone acts as if he or she knows more about you than you know about yourself. When your enemy starts listing everything he or she thinks they know about you, do the following: smile and politely say, “I don’t want to talk about what you think or believe you know about me.” Of course, this person will want to encourage you to talk about each point they have brought up. Stick to what you have originally said and don’t agree or disagree with the enemy. For some people, depending on the situation, they just smile and say nothing.

Try to convince you that evil is good – when one is trying to persuade you to take a stance on something you may or may not agree with, consider this, “If I tell you that what you are doing is wrong, you will try to defend your actions and most likely attack my faith. If I tell you what you are doing is good, you will accuse me of being a hypocrite, so I will let you figure out whether your situation should be labeled evil or good through consequence.”

Create a plan that is void of Jesus – some people believe that if they leave religion out of their lives they will be alright when it comes to family, freedom, money, fame, etc. Most likely, they will (at least for a time). But when trouble strikes and after this life, their desire to live faithless will be quite a different story. So in the meantime, when one is adamant about you not talking about Jesus, praying to Jesus or doing anything else concerning Jesus as it relates to the wayward believer or unbeliever, keep your mouth closed and your feet distant from that person so that you will not be corrupted by him or her.

There is more to check out about an enemy's strategies, do check out Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic.

 

Nicholl McGuire