Lover of Self

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy...

2 Timothy 3:2

Whether she chooses to calm her sexual urges with an object or he watches himself naked with various women, these people love themselves more than you know. If you have been on a social networking site for any length of time you may have noticed the many photographs in your news feed of people who post image after image of themselves. This business of loving one’s self goes beyond love, it becomes an obsession for many! It’s almost as if the social networking sites have made mini-stars of ordinary people. “Look at what your friend eats, drinks, buys, and drives!” The advertisements scream. In the Bible, 2 Timothy 3:1-2 is very relevant to men and women of today, “…lovers of their own selves…”

It is very easy to see the wrong in obsessing over one’s self. How can someone love anyone else when he or she is too busy looking at one’s reflection in a mirror every chance he or she gets?  How about those who never deny one’s self a meal, an outfit, or a pricey event that he or she knows isn’t in the budget? Would this be considered acting selfishly? Would Jesus carry on this way? The enemy uses our selfishness and obsessions with ourselves as portals to literally enter in the body. Many people place things inside their bodies to feel good, look good, smell good, taste good, or whatever else they consider good.

With all this feeling good business, some people have actually experienced unseen forces attempt to enter them with moans, sobs, cries, or other noises because of all of their experimenting with occult activities. Others have felt strange sensations that left them feeling miserable, depressed, or even worse suicidal! The enemy knows that if he can get you to focus on self, you won’t be thinking about anyone or anything else.

He will say things like, “When was the last time you treated yourself…why don’t you do that for yourself, forget about everyone else…Say, “I love you self…” have sex with yourself, you don’t need him…you can do-it-yourself.”

Nothing wrong with spending a little time alone, but what usually happens when most people are left alone? They aren’t thinking about God or doing any godly activities now are they? Having some alone time is a perfect opportunity to share all your burdens with the Lord and wait for him to provide you with some wisdom regarding each.

We have all been victims of a self-absorbed society that claims independence while subliminally advertising dependence on things like: government, parents, religious establishments, and more. 

For some of us, we quit being mothers and fathers so that we could be independent.  An act that was selfish sometimes for all the wrong reasons.  Some people simply refused to be mothers and fathers anymore, because one’s love for self was far more greater than an intimate relationship with someone else and parenting a child. Others protested, marched, fought, and lied for independence and now look back on those youthful years with regret.

We have all fallen into traps of thinking that no one or nothing will tell us how to better ourselves. Many of you reading this believe that you aren’t broken and don’t need to be fixed, that is until you open your mouth. Witnesses see a few cavities, hear a few curse words, listen for some lies, and might even smell some bad breath. Well-meaning critics try to help with an admonition and a breath mint while Satan’s critics prepare for battle. “Weren’t you that one talking about how much you love the Lord? Well these days it looks like you love yourself more with all that money you spent? I thought you said you were a Christian, you could have fooled me!”

Everyone can see the dysfunction dripping off our lips. Then we wonder why some won’t be bothered with us. How can you argue with the tuth? Why give a critic something to crack our heads with? But we do. Just like the one criticizing us, we too love our big mouths. Some of us won’t take an insult, a snide remark or an eye-roll before we are ready to curse someone. “Don’t make me put this Bible down!” says the Holy-Roller. Uh oh.

“Give yourself a great big hug,” some guru on self-love says. “Tell yourself just how much you love you.” What is happening? Gradually the enemy is placing you on the throne of God while kicking yourself off. Love on yourself too much and you just might not need God anymore. It’s like the woman who says, “I don’t need a man.” But look at her face when she is around couples. Do you still believe her?

When we allow people and things to penetrate us in our most private places such as our hearts and bodies in ways that God never meant, we are allowing the enemy to get a foothold in our lives. Take for instance, sex. No matter the form of sex, it is intimate. One of the most significant ways a man or woman shows love for him or herself is by doing things that provide him or her pleasure intimately.

God forbids sexual immorality including homosexuality. Yet, man, being in love with himself, will sleep with someone who looks like himself. Woman will allow another woman to caress her, because she has found someone who looks like her. If this isn’t the best example of people who wholeheartedly are in love with self, then what is!? Not only does one like what he or she sees in the mirror, but this person has to find someone who has similar looks and/or body parts—WOW!

An unholy man or woman doesn’t care how perverted his or her thought or action is just so long as he or she is pleasing self. One who is in love with that person looking back at the mirror at him or her doesn’t care about doing things that make others feel uncomfortable. Rather than showing people respect who are trying to live righteously, backsliders and unbelievers will force their sinful ways on others. When they don’t go along, they are often called names, insulted or ridiculed for their moral beliefs.

Foes, who aren’t accountable to God, are lovers of themselves.

Look at the many people around you that will not help someone unless they get an answer for the following question, “Well, what’s in it for me?”  Many people don’t think about God and how to please him, rather they think about how to please themselves. So with this kind of mentality, is it any wonder why someone who is in love with self and his or her lifestyle would be called, “selfish”?

Someone once told me, there isn’t anything wrong with acting selfish. He said, “If you don’t look out for you, who will?” It’s one thing protecting yourself from harmful situations and wanting what’s best for you, but it is a totally different thing when one is purposefully engaging in behaviors that self-destruct and will eventually affect those around him or her in negative ways. Think of a person who spends far too much time combing his or her hair in the morning, applying fragrances, and decorating his or her body. If you are relying on this person for a ride to work, he or she will negatively impact your getting there on time. How about someone who spends far too much time seated in front of the television eating? Years of self-indulgment will take away from time that could have been well-spent teaching a child, maintaining one’s home, building a relationship, and more. Acting selfishly has its place, like when one is on vacation and just wants to sit back and relax after months of working over-time. That wouldn't be the time to play babysitter or balance a spreadsheet from work--of course you would be acting selfishly.

Many of us were influenced by selfish individuals. We grew up with these people. They moved us to get all that we can in life, but they thought that through the process of  our “getting,” some of us would remember them.  The selfish rarely helps the selfish. 

When one has spent years trying to satisfy the needs of the flesh, do you really think they are going to reach back and do all they can for others? Sure, some will. But the majority of those who have much, do not give much. The Lord says, “To much is given much is required.” This principle doesn’t exist when dealing with someone filled with selfish ambition.  Selfish people are concerned about more ways to get more!

What does the Lord inspire James, Jesus’ brother, to say about this? “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:13-16, NIV).

Solution:

 

When people love themselves more than anyone or anything else in this world, you will find its often challenging to get them to hear anyone else’s viewpoint including matters pertaining to God. “For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's” (Philippians 2:21).  You can try to express your thoughts in such a way that he or she benefits.  Maybe he or she needs a spiritual uplift.  Share examples in the Bible.  Show the person that you are not acting unselfishly when you request this person be less selfish.  Give the selfish individual something to consider and why it is important to be generous toward others. 

A look back…

Before the word of God came into your life, you were more interested in your own thoughts and feelings. Be mindful of what might still need to occur in your selfish relative or friend's life for he or she to change the way they think and live.  Don't be too hard on him or her for acting selfishly.
 

Scripture Reference

 

Matthew 22:37-40

Ephesians 5:29

Luke 9:23-25

Proverbs 15:25

James 3:16

Pray

Lord, I thank you for teaching me how to love others use me how you see fit to share your gospel about love and being generous to those I come in contact with. I ask that you will give me the courage to speak lovingly to my relative/child/friend about his/her selfishness. Please change his/her heart in Jesus name.