Monday, June 24, 2019
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Standing Up to Bullies - Your Controlling Family Members
What keeps relatives from standing up to the controlling members of their families? Fear. God tells us in His word that he hasn't given us the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). Yet, at times it is difficult to shake fear when you know a family member has a reputation for being one of the most dangerous men or women around!
Most intimidated relatives are quiet around their bullying kin. Taking great care not to set them off, they walk on eggshells around them in their attempt to "keep the peace." However, there are ways to stand up to bullying family members by not engaging them in any conversations, avoiding meetings where they are present, and not entering into any agreements with them such as: money lending, volunteering service, or forming business partnerships.
A bully becomes powerful because he or she feeds on others' fear. When you stop fearing them and you are no longer concerned about what they may do to you, you become the one who is strong! You are able to face your foe!
I knew of some bullying relatives who robbed other family members of their peace and quiet through intimidation, threats, stalking, and other despicable acts. The common problem was that the victims saw what was happening to others early on, yet they thought the bullies would never bother with them after choosing to connect with controlling family members. But they did use and abuse them too--over and over again! Some victims had to use weapons to defend themselves, contact other family members to help and/ or get police involved.
When standing up to bullies, speak the truth but be respectful and firm:
1) Be sure to do it when witnesses are around that are not loyal to the bully. (Matthew 18:16)
2) Be prepared to be verbally attacked or physically assaulted. (Ephesians 4:29)
3) Avoid going anywhere or sitting down with the bully out of public view. (Psalm 1:1, 127:6)
4) Don't eat or drink anything they offer you. (Deuteronomy 32:33)
5) Contact law enforcement before you agree to meet with a violent bully. (2 Samuel 22:3)
6) Don't assume other relatives will have your back especially the ones who question why are you going to say anything to the bullying relative. (Leviticus 25:17)
7) It's always best to avoid angry men and women rather than trying to handle issues diplomatically. They are not friends! (Proverbs 22:4)
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Face Your Foe On Confronting the Critics
Most intimidated relatives are quiet around their bullying kin. Taking great care not to set them off, they walk on eggshells around them in their attempt to "keep the peace." However, there are ways to stand up to bullying family members by not engaging them in any conversations, avoiding meetings where they are present, and not entering into any agreements with them such as: money lending, volunteering service, or forming business partnerships.
A bully becomes powerful because he or she feeds on others' fear. When you stop fearing them and you are no longer concerned about what they may do to you, you become the one who is strong! You are able to face your foe!
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| Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash |
When standing up to bullies, speak the truth but be respectful and firm:
1) Be sure to do it when witnesses are around that are not loyal to the bully. (Matthew 18:16)
2) Be prepared to be verbally attacked or physically assaulted. (Ephesians 4:29)
3) Avoid going anywhere or sitting down with the bully out of public view. (Psalm 1:1, 127:6)
4) Don't eat or drink anything they offer you. (Deuteronomy 32:33)
5) Contact law enforcement before you agree to meet with a violent bully. (2 Samuel 22:3)
6) Don't assume other relatives will have your back especially the ones who question why are you going to say anything to the bullying relative. (Leviticus 25:17)
7) It's always best to avoid angry men and women rather than trying to handle issues diplomatically. They are not friends! (Proverbs 22:4)
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Face Your Foe On Confronting the Critics
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