Practical Advice on Handling Conflict with Brothers and Sisters in Christ

When dealing with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, don't handle conflict like the world does with badmouthing, teasing, cursing, threats, and revenge.  What we think God might approve of us doing when dealing with an issue with someone, most likely isn't in His plan.  Consider the following scripture taken from Isaiah 55:8 in the NIV, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

When we think of how Jesus dealt with conflict, he turned the other cheek, he forgave others, he was humble when he spoke to others, and he offered assistance even to those who didn't think much of him or the gospel he preached.  Since we are not perfect like Christ, it would make sense to go to him/Holy Ghost and ask him for guidance when handling troubling issues.  Be sure to have a witness when necessary when rebuking any brother or sister.

One must have a mindset prepared to deal with conflict, here are tips here:  Philippians 2:1-11.  Then pray, re-read text, apply the scriptures to your situation without focusing on what the person should and shouldn't do. 

Permit God to convict you on your wrongs without defending or justifying your ways.  Talk with trusted friends about the scriptures that you have read and your feelings.  Consider this, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." (Proverbs 15:22, NIV)  Pray with your counselors.  Afterward, act on the word (James 1:22).  For further spiritual insight see, God's Guidance for Christians in Conflict by Dr. Mark D. Roberts (Patheos.com).

Nicholl McGuire
 

When Facing a Foe...Stand Up for What is Right

From bullies to an argumentative partner, when facing these people, who refuse to do what is right ie.) 10 Commandments for starters, you will not always deal with the confrontation in a way that will appear mature, logical, and calm; therefore don't beat yourself up about it! 

Your face will turn red, your ears will feel hot, your heart will race, your voice will elevate, and you might hit a wall or throw something.  But when the anger passes, did you make your point?  Will things change?  Will you do some things differently?

There may be another misunderstanding and another until one day someone is going to wave the white flag and say, "I'm done...I can't fight anymore...I want to do right...I am sick of the war..."  Whatever brings a person to the point where he or she walks away or dedicates his or her self to change, at least you know you didn't compromise righteous beliefs and didn't allow someone to abuse or misuse you.

Whatever you do, keep your faith, pray and don't do anything that will cause the person harm or put you in jail.

Nicholl McGuire, listen to audio at http://www.youtube.com/nmenterprise7 

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Excellent teaching for those of you battling with spiritual warfare! Many believers are being attacked by demons and "...running around in fear, being confused, lost...many will depart from their faith and listen to lying spirits...these spirits are tricksters, liars--smarter than their victims...they will receive teachings from demons," HouseofHealingAZ, Youtube channel.

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Detoxifying Ourselves from the Unrighteous Ways of Elders

They have been in your life since childhood, elders, those who have helped you become the responsible citizen you are today.  However, as you learn more about them, you realize that these individuals have many flaws.  You find yourself having to fight with emotions on the inside that say something like, "These people really aren't as good as I thought they were...I really shouldn't be spending much time with them...but they have been in my life for such a long time..."  When this happens, look to the Holy Bible.  Ask yourself, "What does God's word say about what I see in this person and what he/she is doing?"

As much as we would love to keep some people around in our lives and paint a picture of them being a friend and not an enemy, God will show us different.  It is up to us to listen and obey if we want to save ourselves from harm.  So how might we guard ourselves from unrighteous elders--especially when we can't get rid of them out of our circles?

1.  We stop recalling our past relationships with them.

Too often we think about past good times to justify sticking it out with toxic people.  How are you ever going to communicate the "new you" or any reasonable standards when it comes to dealing with you, if your head is in the past?  Don't fear to display what you have become--a new creature in Christ!

2.  Question the words, deeds, and actions of your teachers/elders/mentors etc.

You have finally arrived into adulthood when you can question the individual who is causing you discomfort on why they do what they do.  Standing up for yourself is what adults do, children go run and tell their parents.

3.  Distance yourself from negativity.

The more you put up boundaries around your heart, mind and body, the more likely those who are toxic will take notice and withdraw.  If they know they can't move you to go in their direction, to listen to their advice, and do other things that suit them, they won't keep bringing you the negative thoughts, stories and opinions.

4.  Look beyond your existing network.

Those who God has shown you are no longer beneficial to you spiritually, physcially and/or mentally will need to be removed at some point to make room for the new people coming into your life.  Don't make anymore time for fruitless elders, and again I say, leave your past memories in the past about them!  Start appointment setting with those new people God has provided opportunities for you to learn from.

5.  Avoid repeating past mistakes.

An unrighteous elder will no longer have a place in your life when he or she sees you have overcame in certain areas that this person has repeatedly warned you about.  For instance, let's say you have a long history of asking certain people in your network for relationship advice.  These people know you very well based on your past decision-making.  However, do they see any evidence that you have changed?  If not, then weak elders will feel as if they still have a right to say and do what they want when it comes to you despite their own personal weaknesses in the same areas, because they see you aren't doing anything different to help yourself.

6.  Stop celebrating traditions that hinder.

What are you saying or doing that keeps a tradition alive that doesn't progress you?  From fraternal groups to an annual celebration over a relative's home, does your connecting with these people really  help you reach your goals personally and professionally?

7.  Elevate yourself in every area of your life!

The more you work on you, the less the need will be to reach out to toxic elders for personal help especially in areas where only God can assist.  If you and I are so busy connecting with ourselves, families, and others outside of church business, social groups, and other things, then there is no room for people to drip their poision into our lives.

See people for who they really are, and not what you think they should be--this includes elders/mentors/parents/teachers/best friends!

Nicholl McGuire 
 

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Foe

Something wasn't right,
I felt a fight.
She was in my sight.
I prayed, not tonight.
A smiling demon in heels.
Always making deals.

She didn't love anyone--
made people run.
Whatever she wanted, she got.
Used shame, to win fame.

No one wanted to be called out,
no one wanted to hear her shout.
They were protective of their clout.

But I wasn't afraid, and could care less
about her mess--was familiar with this test.
In God's presence, she started to confess...
had issues, that required tissues.

Little did she know,
she had made God her foe.
He was tired of her talk,
he was ready to make her walk.

I prayed for things to change,
I prayed her life would rearrange.

One day it was time for me to go,
the seed was left, it had to grow.

Nicholl McGuire

 

No Belief in God Talking to His Messengers

Have you ever tried talking to someone about something you knew for sure was the truth?  You gave them detail after detail and fact after fact in an effort to help them with an issue, yet they still didn't want to believe you?  Well, this sort of response is what many of God's messengers face when sharing his truth with believers as well as unbelievers.  We aren't just talking about the Gospel of Christ, but wisdom that speaks truth into one's personal situation/dilemma.

Prophets ought to be strong when giving a person a word of knowledge, prophecy or any other message that God moves on our spirits to give.  Further, we should fear the God we pray to when we don't do for Him!  So many former messengers and followers end up in troubled waters, because they proceed in life thinking God is directing them, despite being wayward in the faith.

Think of the many Christians who end up on planes, trains, buses, cars and even in bars, because they permitted flesh to direct them, while ignoring the prophet's warning, only to prematurely die via an accident, stray bullet, illness, or something else.  We all are going  to die some day, but at least when the time comes, it will because God ordered it and not because of our disobedience that led us to it.

We must trust the words that God gives (even if it hurts) and do accordingly.  But how might we know whether a messenger of God is real?  Consider what you prayed behind closed doors.  Was there any way one would have known what to tell you at the right place and at the right time without God's influence?  Of course, our adversary will have his many tricks, but what do his words provide?  A trip toward a path that leads straight to hell!  We see evidence of this by the many elitists whose minds have gone crazy as a result of shunning what the Almighty God says while welcoming what Satan sings.

Nicholl McGuire