When the Emotionally Abused still Loves Her Abuser

He disrespected her again by having sex with another woman. Further, when she confronted him he verbally assaulted her and blamed her for his past and present indiscretions. After he broke her down to the point that she couldn’t rationally think or explain how everything he did to her was making her ill inside and out, he proceeded to hit her, then choke her and ended it all by threatening to kill her. Even after all of that, days later, she confided in a friend that she still loved him. What!?

You just read a real life example of an abused girlfriend who appeared to look happy with her beau, but little did anyone know. Once the smiling faces leave a household, the cameras are put away after holiday photos are taken, police are gone after yet another misunderstanding, and the support system has retired, the young woman finds herself one day in a hospital bed recovering from wounds as a result of another physical altercation with her cheating, angry man.

The abused woman will tell you with tears in her eyes, “He is sorry…he didn’t mean to do what he did…well I should have never…because I know how he can be…I believe he loves me.” Witnesses looking at her situation will never “get her” without having to walk in her shoes. They ponder, “How can someone still love a person who wants them dead?”

Forgiveness only comes easy to those who have yet to permit bitterness to take root, but sooner or later, the abused woman will reach a point of no return emotionally where everyone will pay for what she put herself through.

As twisted as it may seem, the hurt woman convinces herself she still loves her abuser. It was a process for her to get to this place of confusion and it will be a process for her to see that the anger is actually a healthy way to help her get over him, which for some women, they simply aren’t ready to get over their abusers no matter want they have done to them! Her heart is compassionate, she believes he can be helped and she wants to be a part of his journey.

You told her the truth about her sick situation, now let her be.

Pray for those who are being abused right now as you click around this blog.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. Visit her blog here.