Handling Conflict with Senior Pastor and Church Staff Members

Face Your Foe Blog Owner Shares Experience Dealing with Foes

For years, I had to deal with a classmate who was bi-polar while attending high school.  I became a target when I spoke negatively about her one day while participating in a summer program not realizing she was mentally ill.  I personally didn't like her much and found her a bit odd after getting to know her.  I preferred to keep my distance.  I confided my honest feelings to someone who I didn't know at the time was a big mouth.  When the information reached the girl's ears, she considered me an enemy.

Now most girls would just go on about their business when they know someone doesn't like them, but not that girl!  She became relentless in attacking me with every name she could muster behind my back.  She was a part of many organizations I had joined.  She also found her way to my locker on multiple occasions when I wasn't around to put things on it including Vaseline on the dial of the combination.   My honest opinion of her spoken confidentially ended up creating World War III which included meetings with teachers, parents, and a couple of close calls where I wanted to beat her up badly, but the threat of suspension and punishment from parents loomed.

Every now and again I have dreams of this girl and she is peaceful, not causing me any issues in these dreams--we are actually friends.  Prior to graduating, she did apologize for all her misdeeds and I offered up an apology for what I said years before and included that I was unaware of her mental condition at the time I talked about her.  She was "cool" with me and gave me a hug.

Even though this is an all-too common story of high school girls disliking one another for one reason or another, the same behavior shows up in adults.  From the boss who doesn't like feedback from employees so he punishes them subtly to the spouse who becomes visibly irritated with her partner so she looks to find ways to pay him back for how he has made her feel.  Sometimes these "issues" last for years.  The tension is ongoing.  Sometimes it can be so bad that people have constant stomach and head aches as a result--I use to experience such stress even on the elementary school level.

Controlling individuals have followed me during my life, the type who think that they are always right, you are wrong, and if you object their will be consequences to pay.  After so many years of dealing with the same personality types, you start to become desensitize to them.  You stop caring, arguing, and you find yourself ignoring them the majority of the time.  What little they say or much, goes in one ear and out the other.  You tell yourself, "There is no sense in saying anything, not even nodding my head, because I don't care..."

There are times where we can't say or do anything with certain people.  Scripture quoting does nothing but infuriate some.  Spending lots of prayer time concerning certain people begins to take your attention away from more important things you need to praying about and listening to the Lord.  Spending money on these people in the hopes that they will treat you different will only keep you broke.  Pretending to like or love them when you know you don't, makes you look weak and hypocritical.  It is best to tolerate them when you can and when the opportunity comes to be free of your enemy, don't keep them around!  When my enemies, including the girl who gave me a hug, made their peace with me, I didn't try to befriend them.  Why would I be fool enough to set myself up for future drama?  I wished them well and moved on with my life.

Some readers are often having problems with the same people, because deep inside you love drama.  There is something about that person's negativity that you feed off of.  The more they mistreat you, the worse you get and in some twisted way, you like playing the tough guy or gal role with them.  Can I tell you, from personal experience, you will only find yourself one day on the wrong side with God!  It is best to free yourself from the troubled individuals.  Sure, helping people makes you look good in the sight of certain individuals and businesses, but when no one is watching, what do you really look like?

I thank you all for showing your support by reading this blog.  Feel free to subscribe and comment on the blog entries.  May God richly bless you with peace, love, and the courage to let your enemy go when the time comes!

Nicholl McGuire

Mind Control, Manipulating One's Thoughts to Get Desired Results

Your foe plays dirty.  He could care less about your God.  His objective is to get you to do what he wants.  When his charm doesn't work, he reaches in his bag of tricks and out comes a few tactics he observed over the years that other manipulators used, his intent is to control your mind.  If he can successfully do this, the rest of your body will follow.

From the color your controller/mentor/teacher/partner/boss/fraternal brother wears to how he speaks, your enemy is going to find ways to get your mind to say, "Yes" to the things of Satan when it really should say, "No."  Think of those around you who said, after being hurt or abused, "I can't believe I let him get away with that...What was I thinking?"  One's thoughts had been challenged over time in ways that they were not his or her's anymore.  The weak believer becomes a slave to sin! 

Distraction is one of many ways to get someone to stop objecting evil and start accepting it.  Think of the many believers who once hated a sinful lifestyle or refused to support an immoral establishment, yet in time, they go along with the status quo.  How does this happen?  With careful mind control.  Repetitiveness, name-calling, cover-ups, exaggerations, lies, false statistical data and imagery, whatever it takes to make you think that there is no right or wrong.

If you were to state an issue and expect others to go along without connecting it to real life experiences that the listeners can relate to, while impacting them emotionally, it wouldn't go over too well, now would it?  One who is use to getting his or her way, knows how to "act" to get people to agree.  From flattering statements like that of a seductress to a barrage of promises similar to the ones a politician gives, the mind controller will move gullible men and women to tears all the while getting them to say and do things that others would be astonished they would evn attempt to compromise long-standing personal beliefs.  But it happens everyday, accept this, accept that or else.

Many Christians end up backsliding because they permit someone or a group to come into their churches and then their lives with a false gospel.  Crafty individuals are like the serpent in the garden in the Book of Genesis who cause believers to doubt their Heavenly Father's instructions.  Eventually, a twisted mindset shows up in misdeeds.  Those who have been misled later wonder why they are in the hands of an angry God rather than a loving Father when life turns out to be miserable for them.  Consider years of compromise--even God grows weary of disobedient Christians.

Many believers are in churches and temples being deceived each Wednesday night, Saturday or Sunday morning by leaders who are under mind control.  These ministers have attended conferences full of all sorts of mind control tactics.  They read books and listen to audio that appeal to the five senses (the flesh); instead, of the spirit.  They ignore the Holy Ghost when he whispers, "What you are doing is not right...God is not pleased."  These idol worshipping, lovers of the fraternal brother and sisterhoods around our world are more concerned about numbers and money rather than what the one true God is saying (and his name isn't Lucifer).  Their twisted policies, procedures and philosophies are leading many straight to hell!

Mind control is real, reader!  Hypnosis is in the church, do your research!  Witchcraft is present everywhere.  Notice the symbolism in commercials, billboards, movies, and other media.  We have long been in the last days and we are getting closer and closer to a revealing of an Anti-Christ who is determined to destroy the people of God all while kissing babies and shaking hands.  Wayward believers make his job easier by turning away from a righteous God and choosing to serve the god of money, the god of this world, Satan.

Be wise believer in all your endeavors, God will not be mocked.

Nicholl McGuire

Your Adversary will Use You for Selfish Gain While Recruiting You for His Plan

The devil needs a soul so he will use the unwise, emotional Christian to have a pity party for his latest recruit.  "Poor woman...poor man...we ought to pray.  They need Jesus, let me help them."  So the Christian, lacking in spiritual discernment, extends a hand only to have it bitten off by that smiling face who appears like he or she is a child of God, but is really not.  That one, who has sold out for the devil over the years to gain much material wealth (while pretending to know God along the way).  He or she will come into one's house, attach his or herself emotionally, and then presto, when you least expect it, all hell breaks loose!

Sometimes God's people are so focused on the enemy, using his demons to move others away from God, that they don't see how they are being used by a devil of a man or woman for their own selfish pleasures.  From prayer to service, users and abusers will find a way to tolerate God's people for a time in an effort to get what they want.  Once obtained, the manipulator will either stick around for more blessings (they become greedy) or quietly drift away. 

Satan uses the needs of the lost and backslidden to blind them to God's word while they temporarily visit the church.  Once they have been uplifted, prayed for, and content with life, these people go back to the way it use to be--a life that puts God far back in their minds while they pleasure their five senses.  These are insincere Christians and should not be trusted!

God's wisdom and his people are only interesting for the lost and backslidders when, yet again, they cry out in the midst of their wilderness experience with, "Please pray for me...I need your help..."  It is then that the niave or backslidding Christian will permit a stranger, lover, husband, wife, ex, sister, brother, parent, co-worker--you name it, to burden them with request after request, "Could you...Would you...I need you..."  All the while, the enemy is seeking another potential recruit who becomes weary of helping others and tired of a God who watches from above.  The troubled individual will drain you mentally, spiritually and physically if you aren't seeking God for guidance.

Selfish people have need of God's people only when they believe there is some benefit from being around them.  However, if "blessings" don't come when they want and they lack the patience to wait on God, off they go looking for yet another group to potentially service their needs.  They are often unhappy, critical, and very angry individuals when things don't go their way as fast as they pray.  Oftentimes they lose family and friends during wilderness experiences, what little wealth they have remaining left, and other things due to things like their bad attitude, lack of appreciation when someone helps, lies, exaggerations, and abusive behaviors. These energy sappers fail to understand what exactly a personal relationship with Christ sincerely looks like.  Some don't know love, others do, but prefer to skip quality relationships and get right to the blessings.  They use and abuse then make excuses for their behaviors.  They fail to demonstrate compassion for others and are unwilling to change within.  God knows the heart, gullible believers don't and they will persuade others to blindly go along with whatever and whoever in and out of the church riddled with demons!  Many Christian men, women and children are so often deceived by a smiling face, a handshake, and a hug that they become susceptible to enemy schemes.  They are weak to beauty and easily impressed by one's material wealth; therefore, Satan deceives them everytime with his charm. 

Running to church is only part of the process, but while there, one is to obtain knowledge and exercise common sense while the Holy Ghost moves amongst the congregation.  Why would God allow an unsaved or backsliding man or woman to use or even abuse the Christian?  Because He knows that through whatever the circumstance, the believer will recognize he or she can do nothing apart from God!  God is to be praised not mocked!  We are never to take our eyes off of the one who saved us to save a man or woman--never!  It is not in our strength to save anyone--cast one's burdens on to God!  Allow him to give you the strength and wisdom to assist when called upon in His time and not our own.  We must involve the one true God in our plans at all times, on a daily basis.  So many Christians have died prematurely for stepping out of God's will, don't let this happen to you!

Does it hurt when we witness someone going through a trial, a wilderness experience?  Of course, but test the spirits, Christian.  Is he or she really a friend or foe of the church?  Sometimes people will experience the wrath of God, there is a time to do everything and sometimes we must stand out of the way--know your season.

Nicholl McGuire

Dealing with Difficult People - Psalm 37:1-11

Clearview Church McKinney TX 2012-09-16 Sermon

How to Handle Conflict in Our Relationship With Christ

Why Bother to Lie? Recognizing the Liar Within and Around You

One of the worst character flaws of some, who claim to love the Lord and be obedient to his will, is the liar!  This person will not hesitate to story-tell.  No remorse and no apology follows the cold-hearted liar.  He tells stories for no apparent reason.  However, when in a room with some of these liars who don't have to worry over their public reputation sometimes they will reveal that they lied to avoid public shame, discord, or future challenges.

A woman lies to protect her title because she has a long standing history with the church while she hopes to obtain something from those she thinks she has fooled with her false stories.  A man tells falsehoods because he believes he will stand out from the rest before a group he is trying to impress.  Most importantly, he uses his lies to cover up the truth about who he really is underneath his smile, flattery, and gift-giving.

The liar has secrets.  He or she manufacturers a story with the help of hell's angels whether these people choose to admit working for the devil or not.  They think only of self and worry over those who may be impacted by their lies later.

The unsaved and saved don't mind lying to the Christian especially if the person cares, likes or dislikes his or her victim.  If he or she believes in the lie and why he or she should tell it, even if one has been a Christian for years, the individual is going to tell it!

People will excuse the liar because of his or her past good deeds, how the person treats others overall positively, health issues, lack of material wealth, or whatever other reason to make one still maintain a relationship with a liar.  However, to be in the story-tellers presence is risky and most likely one will be impacted by his or her gossip.  Avoid spreading the liar's stories and do remember that witnesses might hold you accountable in the future--guilty by association.

Some common signs about liars, check yourself:

1.  Talking so fast due to emotion, one will speak too quickly and out comes a statement or comment that is incorrect about a person or an event.  Rather than make the statement right at that very moment, he or she will keep telling a story as if it is factual when it is not.

2.  When a situation occurs when one can speak up and tell the truth, the liar avoids saying anything to appear as if everything is okay when it is not.

3.  Liars will digress when communicating a story if they think one is catching on to their lie or advise the listener "not to say anything" knowing full well they have said something untruthful to someone or a group.

4.  Liars exaggerate, make up so-called facts, and blame others when they know they are at fault.

5.  Dishonest people will avoid settings where they might be exposed.  They don't like to look people in the eye, sit down across from them, or stand still and converse.  Many are often on the move, busy, or act as if everything else is more important than having a serious conversation with others.

Solution:

When one has to confront a liar, be sure to have proof.   It is frivolous do tell someone he or she is lying if you can't prove anything.  If the liar acts as if he or she is innocent, don't work yourself up by yelling, threatening physical violence or saying or doing other things that will just make the liar look as if he or she is better than you before observants.  Maintain self-control and deal with issues with a witness or two privately.  Consider recording conversations noting dates and times you spoke with him or her.  This way in the future the person can't say he or she never spoke to you about an incident. 

A look back...

Do you recall a time when you lied?  How did the person or group react to your lie?  As much as we would like to think that we are all perfect and never do wrong, God will show us the truth about ourselves!  Confess sin and repent for the sins you know about and the sins you don't this day.  It may have been what one might consider a little fib about money spent or a huge lie that might cost you your family or job.  Give your burden over to the Lord!  Make wrongs right whenever you can.  Trust in God to lead you on what to say in the future and how to behave.

Scripture Reference (taken from NIV)

A wicked person listens to deceitful lips; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue. Proverbs 17:4

Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.  Proverbs 30:6

Whoever says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. 1 John 2:4

Prayer

Protect me Oh Lord from the mouth of liars!  Give me the courage, knowledge and wisdom to deal with liars when the time comes.  I ask in Jesus name to forgive me of any lies I have told and keep me from the temptation to lie again.

I DONT argue with false doctrine peddlers, I let the KJV Bible do my arg...

Your Enemy Won't Be on Top Forever

When you are use to being average or at the bottom in just about everything you do, you get to see the successful around you in a way that is different from one who already has more than enough.  It's as if God puts 3D spiritual glasses over your eyes and you can see how Satan uses people to kick you when you are down.  Those at the top, have little time or money, so they say, to help you climb to the top.  Help is always just enough, but never more than enough for the selfish, prideful, and ignorant.

Over the years, I have met many people who were at the top of their games (industries) living in some fantasy world in their minds, be brought back to reality!  You see, when you live in a world created to look beautiful, nice and wonderful because it has a dollar sign attached to it or because a "name" in a certain industry told you that it is so, you just might become a bit prideful and say mean things to people around you when they speak truth as God leads. 

"What do you know, you only make...I pay all the bills, what do you have to give...you think you are so smart...well what did God tell you about...?" 

The rebellious, arrogant fool is more concerned about shooting down the messengers of God, rather than facing a sure reality that he or she will fall one day with all his or her evil-speaking and deceptive ways.  Like Humpty, he sat on the wall, and all the "great, nice" people who was supposedly there to assist him, couldn't.  Oh they will try, but what God breaks up, puts down, or separates, He has to be the one to restore!  We must avoid Satan's trappings to want the things of others especially those who are under a curse!

Most people reach the top because of a love for money.  Some would love to sugarcoat the truth and even blatantly deny it, but their lives are turned upside down--not because of what the saved think they might know about the person's character, but usually because this "star," if you will, has violated God's truth--the Christian is not supposed to love money!  Because why?  It is the root of all evil!  The broke people, the generous associates, the critics of money, and the jealous folks all like to gather around individuals when money is being dispensed.  They don't love the individual giving the money, they love the money!  Yet, when it is all gone, the one who once bragged and talked of having it all is now like the rest of the world.  In a moment's notice, the enemy of God is humbled when he has nothing to talk about.

If this message, hits home to some of you, it is because someone, or maybe even you, who believes in Christ allowed being at the top to affect your relationship with the one true God.  So often Christians everywhere bring God for the ride of their lives and then when they reach the top, they don't know God, the church, his Bible, or the people around them that are being used by God.  Those that have fallen from grace, lose favor with God and it takes a long time to get back right with Him.

Intercede if you are one who this writing doesn't describe for those who permitted success to take a front seat in their lives while God sat in the back.  Pray for brothers and sisters struggling with a rebellious heart, those who are reprobate, and backsliders.  Ask that God will have mercy on them, bring peace to their minds, body and spirits so that they can hear from the Lord.  May God move on the hearts of men and women to do what's right for the Kingdom rather than focus on selfish gain.

To God be the glory!

Nicholl McGuire
Watch videos on Youtube channel: nmenterprise7  

When God handles the confrontation for you..."When They Talked About Me"

This audio message provides an up close and personal experience of what God does when people talk about his messengers.  Wicked critics, backsliders, whoremongers, and liars have repeatedly been addressed in the Bible.  Things haven't changed much in our society since the prophets shared God's words centuries ago.  We all must be mindful of those who are working for God and those who are not. 

Why do MOST "christians" REFUSE to confront SIN, or Often actually accep...

When the Emotionally Abused still Loves Her Abuser

He disrespected her again by having sex with another woman. Further, when she confronted him he verbally assaulted her and blamed her for his past and present indiscretions. After he broke her down to the point that she couldn’t rationally think or explain how everything he did to her was making her ill inside and out, he proceeded to hit her, then choke her and ended it all by threatening to kill her. Even after all of that, days later, she confided in a friend that she still loved him. What!?

You just read a real life example of an abused girlfriend who appeared to look happy with her beau, but little did anyone know. Once the smiling faces leave a household, the cameras are put away after holiday photos are taken, police are gone after yet another misunderstanding, and the support system has retired, the young woman finds herself one day in a hospital bed recovering from wounds as a result of another physical altercation with her cheating, angry man.

The abused woman will tell you with tears in her eyes, “He is sorry…he didn’t mean to do what he did…well I should have never…because I know how he can be…I believe he loves me.” Witnesses looking at her situation will never “get her” without having to walk in her shoes. They ponder, “How can someone still love a person who wants them dead?”

Forgiveness only comes easy to those who have yet to permit bitterness to take root, but sooner or later, the abused woman will reach a point of no return emotionally where everyone will pay for what she put herself through.

As twisted as it may seem, the hurt woman convinces herself she still loves her abuser. It was a process for her to get to this place of confusion and it will be a process for her to see that the anger is actually a healthy way to help her get over him, which for some women, they simply aren’t ready to get over their abusers no matter want they have done to them! Her heart is compassionate, she believes he can be helped and she wants to be a part of his journey.

You told her the truth about her sick situation, now let her be.

Pray for those who are being abused right now as you click around this blog.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. Visit her blog here.