Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Anger
It is a powerful feeling, one that will make you act wrathful, anger is something that we experience from time to time, but don't always control. Before long someone is called a name, pushed to rage back, cries are heard, and once good friends are no more.
What do you do when you are angry? How do you resist the temptation to hurt someone back who might have purposely offended you?
When I thought of moments in my life when I was tested and passed was due to self-control and God of course--his Holy Spirit was indeed at work. Choosing not to react to the accuser takes a lot of energy and self-determination to respond appropriately and not make a scene.
I actually felt better avoiding the temptation to involve my emotions in arguments. Sure, I thought about the "What if I..." scenarios afterward, but what would that have accomplished? Nothing more than an upset stomach and a headache. People rarely, if ever, change their ways no matter how nice or not-so nice you treat them. So working myself up into a fit would have solved nothing!
Times when I failed spiritual trials and permitted anger to win rather than use it for good (more on that later), I was the one who ended up feeling bad. Those dark emotions and behaviors just weren't worth it! Once you let anger enslave you, you become distant from God and oh, that is a dark place to be--all alone with no one you can truly feel emotionally safe with.
Now when using anger for good I simply made it the motivation I need to complete projects. I typically have a long list of things I plan to accomplish prior to any business, personal or family issues that might arise, I am already focused on planned activities. Therefore, the unexpected pain becomes a driving force for me to go back to what I was doing, my comforts, and ignore all the rest.
When you have lived on this planet long enough, you learn to establish safety nets for yourself when trouble comes so that you don't lose it during seasons of trials and droughts. In addition to connecting with your Creator, what are your emotional and physical safety nets that shield you from life's difficulties?
Angry people are a distraction, a hindrance and come with other emotions like jealousy, resentfulness, and unforgiveness. The minute you give place to their mean-spiritedness you are debilitated for a time in getting your needs met. You lose focus and become wrapped in their ills. Connecting with angry people long-term is fruitless. Their anger is only beneficial when it gives us all a jolt to get a plan or a purpose underway. Outside of that highly emotional people are mentally and physically draining.
So the next time you are angry about something, use it for good. Let anger give you the push you need to stop excuse-making, procrastinating and doing other unproductive things. Chances are God set up the challenging situation to get you to do better personally, professionally or both.
God bless.
Nicholl maintains this blog and is the author of Know Your Enemy:The Christian's Critic and other books.
What do you do when you are angry? How do you resist the temptation to hurt someone back who might have purposely offended you?
When I thought of moments in my life when I was tested and passed was due to self-control and God of course--his Holy Spirit was indeed at work. Choosing not to react to the accuser takes a lot of energy and self-determination to respond appropriately and not make a scene.
I actually felt better avoiding the temptation to involve my emotions in arguments. Sure, I thought about the "What if I..." scenarios afterward, but what would that have accomplished? Nothing more than an upset stomach and a headache. People rarely, if ever, change their ways no matter how nice or not-so nice you treat them. So working myself up into a fit would have solved nothing!
Times when I failed spiritual trials and permitted anger to win rather than use it for good (more on that later), I was the one who ended up feeling bad. Those dark emotions and behaviors just weren't worth it! Once you let anger enslave you, you become distant from God and oh, that is a dark place to be--all alone with no one you can truly feel emotionally safe with.
Now when using anger for good I simply made it the motivation I need to complete projects. I typically have a long list of things I plan to accomplish prior to any business, personal or family issues that might arise, I am already focused on planned activities. Therefore, the unexpected pain becomes a driving force for me to go back to what I was doing, my comforts, and ignore all the rest.
When you have lived on this planet long enough, you learn to establish safety nets for yourself when trouble comes so that you don't lose it during seasons of trials and droughts. In addition to connecting with your Creator, what are your emotional and physical safety nets that shield you from life's difficulties?
Angry people are a distraction, a hindrance and come with other emotions like jealousy, resentfulness, and unforgiveness. The minute you give place to their mean-spiritedness you are debilitated for a time in getting your needs met. You lose focus and become wrapped in their ills. Connecting with angry people long-term is fruitless. Their anger is only beneficial when it gives us all a jolt to get a plan or a purpose underway. Outside of that highly emotional people are mentally and physically draining.
So the next time you are angry about something, use it for good. Let anger give you the push you need to stop excuse-making, procrastinating and doing other unproductive things. Chances are God set up the challenging situation to get you to do better personally, professionally or both.
God bless.
Nicholl maintains this blog and is the author of Know Your Enemy:The Christian's Critic and other books.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Conflict with Your Family - Make this Year a Pivotal Time - Stop Tolerating Dysfunction
Whether you are in low contact or no contact since the holidays with your family or maybe long before the season even got started, most likely you are offended by things said or done by them to you or other loved ones like your children. For some of us, we recall the times in our lives where we just couldn't take one more negative thing coming off the lips of a combative relative. The make up to break up merry-go-round just doesn't occur with dysfunctional intimate connections but with family and friends too--enough is enough!
Managing family conflict usually occurs prior to growing matters. One attempts to communicate concerns, wishes that certain negative behaviors would stop, and acts on consequences. However, when there is a war, someone or a group refusing to respect you, the only side you can control is you!
Family issues tend to arise more so when someone or a group is exerting power and control over the other party. People grow weary of the fighting so they eventually retreat, choosing to stay close to those who show them love. No more name-calling, punishments for past issues, subtle or bold reminders of offenses, and controlling tactics from manipulative and brainwashed relatives who love drama more than peace.
As we go along in this life, we determine what we will and won't take from family. Emotionally and/or physically withdrawing is one way of surviving. Some relatives might use alcohol and drug addiction to quell negative emotions concerning family members. One person told me once he drank alcohol around his mother just to cope. His mother would act bossy, annoying, and wouldn't leave him be. Others go to their graves never revealing just how much they despise their family members.
You don't have to be that one who harbors ill-feelings toward kinfolk while wearing a fake, toothy grin. Rather you can be free from toxic ties by simply establishing boundaries. They need to know when you are unwilling to go along with the program and why you will no longer tolerate certain behaviors. Of course, you may not want to get rid of some people altogether, but what you don't have to do is put up with their negativity either.
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and is the author of Genealogy X What to Expect When Researching Family History
Managing family conflict usually occurs prior to growing matters. One attempts to communicate concerns, wishes that certain negative behaviors would stop, and acts on consequences. However, when there is a war, someone or a group refusing to respect you, the only side you can control is you!
Family issues tend to arise more so when someone or a group is exerting power and control over the other party. People grow weary of the fighting so they eventually retreat, choosing to stay close to those who show them love. No more name-calling, punishments for past issues, subtle or bold reminders of offenses, and controlling tactics from manipulative and brainwashed relatives who love drama more than peace.
As we go along in this life, we determine what we will and won't take from family. Emotionally and/or physically withdrawing is one way of surviving. Some relatives might use alcohol and drug addiction to quell negative emotions concerning family members. One person told me once he drank alcohol around his mother just to cope. His mother would act bossy, annoying, and wouldn't leave him be. Others go to their graves never revealing just how much they despise their family members.You don't have to be that one who harbors ill-feelings toward kinfolk while wearing a fake, toothy grin. Rather you can be free from toxic ties by simply establishing boundaries. They need to know when you are unwilling to go along with the program and why you will no longer tolerate certain behaviors. Of course, you may not want to get rid of some people altogether, but what you don't have to do is put up with their negativity either.
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and is the author of Genealogy X What to Expect When Researching Family History
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