When You Say Too Much

You said too much. Now your foe is ready to curse you. He is planning to defend his pride, fame, fortune, hobby, love interest and anything else that stands in the way of a relationship with his Creator. He is fuming! Red face, yelling, and throwing things, he is walking quickly toward you. Is this the time to scream out, “In the name of Jesus!” Do you extend your arms in order to protect your face and body in case he swings on you? You don’t have much time to think and much less time to get in a defensive posture. “What would Jesus do in a situation like this?” Your foe is going to go for your head. Whether he uses words to attack your spirit or his hands to beat, choke, or push you into submission. His ultimate goal is to quiet and hurt you at the same time, because what you thought was a good word, a message of truth, he took the wisdom and rejected it!

Know that God turns situations like this into life lessons. The adversary most likely set you up a long time ago to get into an argument with someone that could have been settled peaceably, but escalated into something far worse. His plan is to get you to doubt God, stop helping others, and hopefully die with regret.

When we first felt that information given to us from a relative, friend or co-worker was incorrect and that what was said didn’t match up with facts, the enemy was ready to play his share of mind games. Therefore, when the confrontation took place, Satan influenced a myriad of distractions to keep from the one we are talking to from hearing our truth, someone else's or even truth as it relates to him or her. Satan moved his demons to launch their attacks. We have some options we can choose during confrontation: use words, fists or walk away.

Walking away has gotten a bad rap over the years. It is considered weak. But the truth is, it is one of the most strongest acts you can use to keep from doing something you most likely will regret later especially when emotions are running high. Even the strongest, most disciplined soldier knows when it’s time to retreat. That urge to continue to say what is on your mind (while the small voice is warning you to keep quiet) and the temptation to back up what you say with your fists, is never worth losing your freedom, finances, family, life or even your soul? It's always better to remain silent and walk away when the fire breathing dragon is ready to burn you with his tongue and violent gestures.

Take this moment to pray.

“Lord, there are times when I just get so angry that I think evil thoughts about those who I am disputing with. Teach me to be wiser when dealing with situations that make me feel threatened, nervous, angry, or scared. Help me to overcome what bothers me on the inside. Give me the courage to walk away when necessary. Bless me with the words to speak when I have to communicate a concern. In Jesus name.” 

 

The following are some tips to keep in mind when communicating with individuals who might have issues with you:   

 

1.  The moment you realize you are revealing too much about yourself or someone else, cut the conversation off.  Try to stay away from any subject matter that you are uncertain about the details.

2.  Ask questions rather than make assumptions such as: how a person feels about a situation rather than "I know you felt like..."

3.  Don't verbalize anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or puts someone else in a bad light especially when that person isn't around to defend his or herself.

4.  Avoid revealing valuable information to those who are gossips, liars, mean-spirited and have other unrighteous characteristics.

5.  When one approaches you about your concerns involving someone or something, always take a pause and say something like, "I need to think about that...I will need to get more information before I can say something...Let me address that issue with..."  For the person who is the trouble-maker, he or she will want to take back what was said particularly when you say you will talk to someone about the matter he or she is raising.

6.  Always keep in mind someone might be recording your exchange, so don't say anything that you might regret later.

7.  Stand by what you say.  Whether what you said was good, bad or otherwise, admit you said it and never apologize for speaking truth.  For example, one comes to you with information you said that wasn't encouraging or nice about someone else,  you say, "I admit that I did say that.  Could I have said it differently, kept my feelings to myself, or talked to the person at the time about it?  Sure.  But at that moment, the statement needed to be said and hopefully some changes will be made as a result.  So no I don't apologize for the truth, but I do apologize for not coming up with a better way to deal with the issue."  

Check out an insightful blog about workplace issues written from a practical sense by Nicholl McGuire here.

On Confronting the Liar

You hear that someone has either lied about something, lied on you, or is planning to tell a lie.  You know that this person has a shady past when it comes to telling the truth.  You also know that if you should confront this person about what you know, you just might have to deal with some sort of backlash in the future.  Liars avoid confrontation.  They don’t want to admit to lies and they don’t want anyone shooting holes in their stories.

 

Nowadays, when we have so many liars in mainstream media and elsewhere, if one has a huge amount of followers, he or she can get away with telling lies because so many believe one’s stories.  If you present truth in front of one’s fan-base, you are most likely treated like an enemy.  People who are in love with their favorite relative’s/mentor’s/best friend’s/idol’s product, service, and even his or her look will not believe any unfavorable truths about the individual such as: how mean they are to others, what wicked deeds they have committed, and anything else deemed wrong or negative.  Rather, they want truth-seekers and tellers to look the other way, talk nicely and don’t ruffle anyone’s feathers.  Basically, let the liar say what he or she wants and just pray for him or her.  The adoring fan has a love affair with how the liar makes his or her flesh feel, yet has no interest in opening his or her eyes to the liar’s schemes.

Liars know how to manipulate people into believing they are right and others are wrong by doing things like: stating how credible they are, how many people love and support them, what they have done for others and what others have done for them, and they also know how to threaten to harm others if need be.  For instance, a lying Christian type will say the kind of prayers that don’t necessarily build a person up, but causes them unnecessary worry, confusion, and other nerve-racking feelings.  For the liar, God sits at his or her feet and is called upon when he or she really needs something; otherwise, the deceptive one runs his or her life the way he or she wants while working hard to achieve power, fame, or fortune.

 

The Evil One has a field day with the lying Christian type (of course one can’t be a sincere believer in Christ and have a career of lying, but it happens).  Satan knows this believer, who announces to everyone how much he loves God but does his dirt, has one foot on holy ground while the other stands at hell’s gate.  So he uses the liar’s so-called faith in such a way that moves others to want to redirect their focus on God’s will and on to the issue or thing that is causing them much sadness, worry, upset, etc. in this way the weak will begin to trust in the liar’s prayers, conversation, money, and anything else the liar is willing to share so as to keep the relationship going.

 

The liar’s way of comforting others is by telling them stories, usually exaggerated, made up, or lacking in details.  This manipulator says things he or she believes a hurting person wants to hear, while moving the individual to do whatever he or she wants.  This deceptive individual desires to win friends in whatever way possible, because he or she has had a long history of lying and then being exposed by others; therefore, the network of family and associates must be replenished.  What better way to keep the unsuspecting close to him or her is to study people’s personal and professional lives then create stories that will appear as if they benefit the liar’s audience, when in reality the only one who truly gains anything from the relationship/partnership is the liar.

Now here is when things take an ugly turn between liar and victim.  For instance, a circumstance comes up and the liar is caught deceiving others.  This deceptive person is going to find various ways to save his or her reputation with yet another story to keep that relative, friend, co-worker, or some other person close.  The gullible type of victim will just accept whatever the story or excuse the liar gives him or her.  However, the discerning child of God will not readily believe what the liar is saying until he or she puts this person through a series of tests.  The first will most likely have something to do with the liar’s previous stories as well as other information related to the recent circumstance.  It is important that the believer exercises self-control when talking to a liar otherwise the individual will shut down.  

The believer will be pointing out what facts simply don’t add up in the liar’s stories.  He or she will be questioned and observed by the believer or anyone or group who feels betrayed.  The believer will also pray for the liar whether in his or her presence or elsewhere.  He or she will seek God for revelation—an act that most liars fear because they know God will expose them.  Depending on what the results are from the exchange will determine whether the liar will remain in the victim’s life.  Some people have no choice, at least for a time, when it comes to ousting a liar out of his or her inner circle.  Sometimes the liar is a mother, a boss, or marriage partner, so unless there is something terribly going wrong with this person to the point that it is destroying other’s lives, he or she may still have access to the one who has been lied to, but the relationship most likely will be strained for a time.  It is up to the believer to draw near to the Lord, protect his or her heart, and be discerning and wise when dealing with liars.

Nicholl McGuire

Face Your Foe by Nicholl McGuire

After creating Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic I have continued to write.  Presently, I am adding to my latest book project, Face Your Foe by Nicholl McGuire. 

For almost a year I wondered how I might release Face Your Foe.  I had been feeling like I should share at least a portion of this project online.  To date, if an interested reader would like a copy of the printed version of the book, he or she will have to wait for now.  I am prayerfully considering where this book will be and what date it should be released. 

Like my previous projects, Face Your Foe has required much prayer and thought.  It isn't easy writing about the devil and those who play the part of the evil one in people's lives.  As more and more truth comes forth spiritually for me, the more it seems the enemy attacks in one way or another.

I am grateful to God for being selected to share his word with others and my experiences, but I will not say it is easy doing his will, because it is not. If you are not studying, you are testing or being tested, fasting, or being released from one personal burden or many, and often learning and hopefully growing in the process.  

I pray that one will take the time to read my previous work, Know Your Enemy, before making a decision to start boldly confronting one's foes.  There is an enemy within oneself that must be dealt with first.  A child of the living God should permit the Holy One to guide him or her toward his  wisdom before marking someone a friend or a foe.  One must also be open to the truth about those who are presently in your inner circle that don't necessarily have your best interests in mind irregardless of their titles, how nice, funny, kind etc. they are.  I personally think that people are far too quick to assume that everyone is nice and mean them well before learning enough about them to reach such conclusions.  This is why many people often walk away from relationships and friendships feeling burned, they are at times either too trusting with the wrong people or not trusting enough with the right people. 

God has a way of showing us convicting truth whether we like it or not.  If we are so foolish enough to think that our thoughts and ways are above God, then he quietly leaves us alone with our crazy selves to learn the hard way.

So do get Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic and then come back here, subscribe to this blog and learn some interesting things in the future about those foes also known as children of darkness and devil workers.  They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, spirits, and genders.  God bless.

Nicholl

The Typical Argument

The typical argument usually starts with an accusation, a false statement, a flippant remark or some other message that comes off as offensive. Whether the person who made the statement had good intentions or not, he or she must be prepared to defend what he or she has said.

Now sometimes defending one’s remarks don’t come without a few tempting moments where Satan influences his demons to make you say a mean-spirited retort, name-call, or tease. Picture the enemy standing behind you while you are at war with someone who has really angered you. He has his demons poking you in the butt with a pitchfork, getting your blood to boil, and moving you to want to either verbally or physically give that person or group standing in front of you a good tongue lashing! But rather than allow the devil to get a foothold, you bind the enemy in Jesus name and keep on talking as the Lord leads. Now here is where things can get interesting. Do you know in fact that God is moving you to share how you feel or what the person standing in front of you should or shouldn’t do? Most arguments can end as quickly as they begin if one would simply close his or her mouth. I recall a dispute that I was having with someone and then before long all was quiet, “Are you done?” the person said. I was weary and I felt God telling me, “Your work is done and now mine is just beginning.”

We don’t need to win nor should we go after a win, I am learning this concept with every disagreement. If I am called by the Lord to speak truth and one doesn’t like that truth or has a problem with it, his or her issue with me is not meant to be taken personally. Someone who doesn’t want to hear the truth, will argue whether silently, verbally, or manipulatively (behind your back). Do we cry, fuss, complain, whine, or orchestrate a campaign to bring a foe down, no. We allow God to avenge our enemies. Besides, he was the one that wanted a certain cutting message to be communicated. There are times when we will be on the receiving end having to listen to someone who has a problem with us, then what will we do?
 

Planning for an unexpected argument with people in or out of your circle is a real challenge especially when you are in a happy mood. The last thing you want to do is think about something negative. But it is when we are feeling healthy, in charge, elated, or experiencing some other positive emotion, that Satan will work to bring us down. The future argument will potentially steal valuable time away from two individuals who normally get along. It will also destroy trust and worse kill whatever you have worked so hard to build with someone. So how might one prepare?

If you already have some idea of who your enemies might be (see Know Your Enemy: The Christian’s Critic by Nicholl McGuire), then you will need only to learn enough about their mannerisms, more specifically their arguing style, to see a potential argument with them. For instance, let’s say, you don’t do well around comedic types of personalities, but someone in your circle is often very funny and you have had your moments where you laughed until your belly hurt with this person. However, you also know that when this person is irritated about something, he or she has a way of tearing apart a person’s self-esteem by criticizing the way he or she looks and sounds. So what might be your defense if you should potentially get into a dispute with such a person? You could walk away. Start talking about his or her weaknesses. Report this person to an authority. But whatever strategy you use to stand up to such a person, if it is necessary to do that, you will need to have some idea on how to best maintain your reputation under pressure. Isn’t that what really matters to most people anyway? What do I look like talking to this person and how might my message be conveyed in the most effective way without causing World War III?

Confronting One's Foe on His or Her Wicked Strategies

In Know Your Enemy: The Christian’s Critic I list and explain over 30 strategies that wicked critic’s use to get you off track when it comes to walking with the Lord and doing his will. Now in this book, I will provide suggestions on how you can deal with the difficult person when he or she approaches you.

When the wicked critic does the following, you stand by responding to his or her strategies like this:

Attempt to gain your trust – you will ask more questions about him or her and talk less about self.

Make an offer you won’t refuse – delay the request to make a commitment and pray about it.

Lay a trap – you will stand guard. Being careful not to prematurely sign or say anything or visit a home or office without a witness. Avoid talking about serious matters (especially involving others) over the phone when you can talk in person. Be mindful of someone spying on you, three party phone services and recording devices. Don’t say anything in writing ie.) email, text and mail that could be used against you later.

Look for trouble – when you are aware that you have an enemy, he or she will attempt to draw you into conversations or perform actions that may cause problems later for you at home, work, church or elsewhere. Therefore, don’t do or say anything without checking with management, partner, family, friends, workers, or others first.

Provoke you to anger – when you know that your heart is beating, heat is rising and head is pounding, excuse yourself, get busy or walk away. If the issue can be settled by using a third party, do it. If the situation is unnecessary and doesn’t require any action on your part, ignore this person. If he or she persists, get law enforcement involved.

Prey on the novice – time to start studying. When an enemy seeks to get you to do something you may not be knowledgeable about, you might want to learn why it is so important for her or him to involve you.

Tempt you again – you may have resisted the devil in the past, but he will come again. The next time have a plan of escape. Ask yourself, “What will I do/say when he tells me this? How might I get out of the situation? What can I do to protect myself and keep this person from bothering me again with the same issue?”

Pretend to love you – sometimes we can’t see when a person is acting like he or she cares about us. Test the spirit. Ask the kind of questions that relate to feelings. Do a few nice things for this person and watch how he or she responds.

Use those closest to you – people don’t know whether someone likes or dislikes you if you never say anything especially if your enemy is a good actor. Therefore, when the enemy attempts to “get in” with someone who is close to you, be sure that you expose him or her and provide proof whenever possible, so that the individuals who think “but he/she is so nice...” will be convinced that your enemy is definitely no friend of yours.

Act as if he/she knows you so well – it can be upsetting when someone acts as if he or she knows more about you than you know about yourself. When your enemy starts listing everything he or she thinks they know about you, do the following: smile and politely say, “I don’t want to talk about what you think or believe you know about me.” Of course, this person will want to encourage you to talk about each point they have brought up. Stick to what you have originally said and don’t agree or disagree with the enemy. For some people, depending on the situation, they just smile and say nothing.

Try to convince you that evil is good – when one is trying to persuade you to take a stance on something you may or may not agree with, consider this, “If I tell you that what you are doing is wrong, you will try to defend your actions and most likely attack my faith. If I tell you what you are doing is good, you will accuse me of being a hypocrite, so I will let you figure out whether your situation should be labeled evil or good through consequence.”

Create a plan that is void of Jesus – some people believe that if they leave religion out of their lives they will be alright when it comes to family, freedom, money, fame, etc. Most likely, they will (at least for a time). But when trouble strikes and after this life, their desire to live faithless will be quite a different story. So in the meantime, when one is adamant about you not talking about Jesus, praying to Jesus or doing anything else concerning Jesus as it relates to the wayward believer or unbeliever, keep your mouth closed and your feet distant from that person so that you will not be corrupted by him or her.

There is more to check out about an enemy's strategies, do check out Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic.

 

Nicholl McGuire