Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Typical Argument

The typical argument usually starts with an accusation, a false statement, a flippant remark or some other message that comes off as offensive. Whether the person who made the statement had good intentions or not, he or she must be prepared to defend what he or she has said.

Now sometimes defending one’s remarks don’t come without a few tempting moments where Satan influences his demons to make you say a mean-spirited retort, name-call, or tease. Picture the enemy standing behind you while you are at war with someone who has really angered you. He has his demons poking you in the butt with a pitchfork, getting your blood to boil, and moving you to want to either verbally or physically give that person or group standing in front of you a good tongue lashing! But rather than allow the devil to get a foothold, you bind the enemy in Jesus name and keep on talking as the Lord leads. Now here is where things can get interesting. Do you know in fact that God is moving you to share how you feel or what the person standing in front of you should or shouldn’t do? Most arguments can end as quickly as they begin if one would simply close his or her mouth. I recall a dispute that I was having with someone and then before long all was quiet, “Are you done?” the person said. I was weary and I felt God telling me, “Your work is done and now mine is just beginning.”

We don’t need to win nor should we go after a win, I am learning this concept with every disagreement. If I am called by the Lord to speak truth and one doesn’t like that truth or has a problem with it, his or her issue with me is not meant to be taken personally. Someone who doesn’t want to hear the truth, will argue whether silently, verbally, or manipulatively (behind your back). Do we cry, fuss, complain, whine, or orchestrate a campaign to bring a foe down, no. We allow God to avenge our enemies. Besides, he was the one that wanted a certain cutting message to be communicated. There are times when we will be on the receiving end having to listen to someone who has a problem with us, then what will we do?
 
Planning for an unexpected argument with people in or out of your circle is a real challenge especially when you are in a happy mood. The last thing you want to do is think about something negative. But it is when we are feeling healthy, in charge, elated, or experiencing some other positive emotion, that Satan will work to bring us down. The future argument will potentially steal valuable time away from two individuals who normally get along. It will also destroy trust and worse kill whatever you have worked so hard to build with someone. So how might one prepare?

If you already have some idea of who your enemies might be (see Know Your Enemy: The Christian’s Critic by Nicholl McGuire), then you will need only to learn enough about their mannerisms, more specifically their arguing style, to see a potential argument with them. For instance, let’s say, you don’t do well around comedic types of personalities, but someone in your circle is often very funny and you have had your moments where you laughed until your belly hurt with this person. However, you also know that when this person is irritated about something, he or she has a way of tearing apart a person’s self-esteem by criticizing the way he or she looks and sounds. So what might be your defense if you should potentially get into a dispute with such a person? You could walk away. Start talking about his or her weaknesses. Report this person to an authority. But whatever strategy you use to stand up to such a person, if it is necessary to do that, you will need to have some idea on how to best maintain your reputation under pressure. Isn’t that what really matters to most people anyway? What do I look like talking to this person and how might my message be conveyed in the most effective way without causing World War III?

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