If At First You Don't Succeed...

You have heard the old adage, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again!"  Well this rings true when you are above ground.  You have many opportunities in your life to "get things right, do the right thing" so elders have encouraged us in the past.  However, there are some things that happen in this life that you can't undo, fix, or turn around especially when those "issues" impact other people.  Not everyone is going to be forgiving, nice, respectful, or give you a chance for whatever reason or not.  Yet, we have those individuals who grew up in environments or who have been influenced by people who assume that people will give them a chance just because.

When one is determined to be a success, you don't worry over doing what is right, you just do it!  You don't immerse yourself in thoughts of "...will this person/group give me a chance."  If they do, great, but if they don't, you keep moving past the pain, rejection and anxieties.  Here's how to move on:

1)  Don't keep thinking about the failure every moment of every day.  Once you have analyzed it, acknowledged the emotions connected to it, and have discussed it with helpful advisors, you stop the thoughts about it.  "I will not keep thinking about this.  I have work to do!"  Then you proceed with the tasks that need to be completed.

2)  You find good people, places and things to spend your time other than going home and allowing yourself idle time to think about the incident(s).

3)  When in your power, you do something about those offenses you feel so moved to address.  You do this tactfully, respectfully, and quickly, so that you are not dwelling on the situation.

4)  You find healthy ways to express your anger, if you feel like you are powerless or very upset with yourself or others.  A trip to the gym, visualizing the errors just disappearing or burning up in a bonfire, or planning a vacation that takes you away from the environment, these are all things that does the mind and body good!

5)  Try a different way to approach what it is that you desire so much to be a success at.  Sometimes strategies and plans are outdated, no longer supported, or simply don't work to accomplish your specific goals.

So if at first you don't succeed in this lifetime, maybe God has something better or you just might need to make sometime to read his love letter (the Bible).  There is much wisdom in the good book that has inspired many movers and shakers in our society.  Whatever you can't fix, remember you are responsible for what you can, life goes on.  Do the best you can while you're still above ground!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself, When Mothers Cry, Know Your Enemy The Christian's Critic and many other books.