Feeling like someone is taking you for granted? Tired of feeling like the manipulator is always winning and you are always losing. Let's take a look at two examples and then we are going to get into how you can watch for signs that once again they are attempting to take advantage of you and what you can do to put a stop to it.
Sarah was happy to have landed her new job. The company was doing well and she was making more money than she ever had in her life. Unfortunately, her happiness was short-lived. Sarah soon realized that she was being manipulated by her controlling father financially. He would lie to her about his gambling addiction and cover up his drinking at the local bar late at night. Sarah was furious when she found out that for a long time he had been lying to her. She decided to take matters into her own hands. She confronted her father and told him that she was done being his puppet. She refused to let him control her anymore. Sarah then made a plan to get out of debt and stand on her own two feet. She was determined to live her life on her own terms, no matter what her father said or did.
Bill was scrolling through his wife's text messages when he came across a series of messages that made his heart sink. In them, Jenny told her friend how much she hated living with Bill and how she wished she could just leave him. She also complained about how controlling he was and how she was tired of pretending to love him.
Bill was devastated by what he read. He couldn't believe that his wife had been lying to him all this time. He felt like he had been duped and manipulated into believing that they had a happy marriage.
Bill confronted Jenny about the messages and she tried to deny it, but he knew that she was lying. He told her that he wanted a divorce and she finally agreed to it. Bill was glad to have finally seen through Jenny's lies and manipulation. He knew that he would be better off without her in his life.
In both situations, there was definitely manipulation going on; however when both victims realized what was going on they took action. It is never too late to create distance between you and the manipulator in your life. You will find that in the following tips, you most likely did the total opposite of many of them and that is why you attracted and kept the manipulator in your life for as long as you did.
It can be difficult to see the truth that someone is using you, so we avoid it. We pretend as if nothing is going on. We make excuses when loved ones point out the deception. We spin a web in relationships that further bind us to the manipulator rather than plan a safe exit sooner rather than later. Yet, now with some light shed on your toxic relationship, you can begin steps to get free from the help of your Creator! You will find that many of the modern day advice is also found in the Bible.
1. Know your personal boundaries and do not let anyone cross them.
2. Don't be afraid to say "no."
3. Be assertive and speak up for yourself.
4. Stay true to yourself and don't let anyone change who you are.
5. Don't give in to pressure from others, especially if it's not something you're comfortable with doing.
6. Maintain your independence and don't rely on others for your happiness or well-being.
7. Be aware of the signs that someone is trying to manipulate you and don't be afraid to stand up to them.
8. Don't be afraid to walk away from a situation or relationship that's toxic or harmful.
9. Trust your instincts and don't be swayed by what others tell you.
10. Be honest with yourself and others, even if it's difficult to do so.
11. Keep your emotions in check and don't let anyone take advantage of your vulnerabilities.
12. Stand up for yourself and don't let anyone push you around or control you.
13. Don't be afraid to confront a manipulator head-on and make them understand that their behavior is unacceptable.
14. Maintain healthy relationships with people who respect and appreciate you for who you are.
15. Avoid negative people who are only going to bring down your mood or try to manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do.
16. Educate yourself about manipulation and the techniques manipulators use so that you can better protect yourself from them in the future.
17. Pray for guidance and wisdom in order to discern truth from lies.
18. Have a circle of supportive friends/family that you can rely on when times get tough.
19. Keep your mind occupied with things that make you happy and bring positive energy into your life.
20. Surround yourself with things that inspire you and make you feel good – art, nature, music, and more.
21. Stay away from drama as much as possible – it will only eat away at your peace of mind and leave you feeling drained.
22. Live each day as if it were your last – enjoy the moment without worrying about what tomorrow may bring.
23. Forgive those who have hurt you in the past – holding onto anger only hurts you more in the end .
24. Embrace change – sometimes new beginnings come in the strangest packages.
25. Live with openness and love – these are two of the most powerful weapons against manipulation.
With these tips you are now well-equipped to pay attention the next time you communicate with a loved one, friend or worker. We all have to live on this planet together, so we might as well make our time on it worth our while--let go of manipulators!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, Say Goodbye to Dad, She's Crazy and Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men. Get them all here.
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