Lover of Self

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy...

2 Timothy 3:2

Whether she chooses to calm her sexual urges with an object or he watches himself naked with various women, these people love themselves more than you know. If you have been on a social networking site for any length of time you may have noticed the many photographs in your news feed of people who post image after image of themselves. This business of loving one’s self goes beyond love, it becomes an obsession for many! It’s almost as if the social networking sites have made mini-stars of ordinary people. “Look at what your friend eats, drinks, buys, and drives!” The advertisements scream. In the Bible, 2 Timothy 3:1-2 is very relevant to men and women of today, “…lovers of their own selves…”

It is very easy to see the wrong in obsessing over one’s self. How can someone love anyone else when he or she is too busy looking at one’s reflection in a mirror every chance he or she gets?  How about those who never deny one’s self a meal, an outfit, or a pricey event that he or she knows isn’t in the budget? Would this be considered acting selfishly? Would Jesus carry on this way? The enemy uses our selfishness and obsessions with ourselves as portals to literally enter in the body. Many people place things inside their bodies to feel good, look good, smell good, taste good, or whatever else they consider good.

With all this feeling good business, some people have actually experienced unseen forces attempt to enter them with moans, sobs, cries, or other noises because of all of their experimenting with occult activities. Others have felt strange sensations that left them feeling miserable, depressed, or even worse suicidal! The enemy knows that if he can get you to focus on self, you won’t be thinking about anyone or anything else.

He will say things like, “When was the last time you treated yourself…why don’t you do that for yourself, forget about everyone else…Say, “I love you self…” have sex with yourself, you don’t need him…you can do-it-yourself.”

Nothing wrong with spending a little time alone, but what usually happens when most people are left alone? They aren’t thinking about God or doing any godly activities now are they? Having some alone time is a perfect opportunity to share all your burdens with the Lord and wait for him to provide you with some wisdom regarding each.

We have all been victims of a self-absorbed society that claims independence while subliminally advertising dependence on things like: government, parents, religious establishments, and more. 

For some of us, we quit being mothers and fathers so that we could be independent.  An act that was selfish sometimes for all the wrong reasons.  Some people simply refused to be mothers and fathers anymore, because one’s love for self was far more greater than an intimate relationship with someone else and parenting a child. Others protested, marched, fought, and lied for independence and now look back on those youthful years with regret.

We have all fallen into traps of thinking that no one or nothing will tell us how to better ourselves. Many of you reading this believe that you aren’t broken and don’t need to be fixed, that is until you open your mouth. Witnesses see a few cavities, hear a few curse words, listen for some lies, and might even smell some bad breath. Well-meaning critics try to help with an admonition and a breath mint while Satan’s critics prepare for battle. “Weren’t you that one talking about how much you love the Lord? Well these days it looks like you love yourself more with all that money you spent? I thought you said you were a Christian, you could have fooled me!”

Everyone can see the dysfunction dripping off our lips. Then we wonder why some won’t be bothered with us. How can you argue with the tuth? Why give a critic something to crack our heads with? But we do. Just like the one criticizing us, we too love our big mouths. Some of us won’t take an insult, a snide remark or an eye-roll before we are ready to curse someone. “Don’t make me put this Bible down!” says the Holy-Roller. Uh oh.

“Give yourself a great big hug,” some guru on self-love says. “Tell yourself just how much you love you.” What is happening? Gradually the enemy is placing you on the throne of God while kicking yourself off. Love on yourself too much and you just might not need God anymore. It’s like the woman who says, “I don’t need a man.” But look at her face when she is around couples. Do you still believe her?

When we allow people and things to penetrate us in our most private places such as our hearts and bodies in ways that God never meant, we are allowing the enemy to get a foothold in our lives. Take for instance, sex. No matter the form of sex, it is intimate. One of the most significant ways a man or woman shows love for him or herself is by doing things that provide him or her pleasure intimately.

God forbids sexual immorality including homosexuality. Yet, man, being in love with himself, will sleep with someone who looks like himself. Woman will allow another woman to caress her, because she has found someone who looks like her. If this isn’t the best example of people who wholeheartedly are in love with self, then what is!? Not only does one like what he or she sees in the mirror, but this person has to find someone who has similar looks and/or body parts—WOW!

An unholy man or woman doesn’t care how perverted his or her thought or action is just so long as he or she is pleasing self. One who is in love with that person looking back at the mirror at him or her doesn’t care about doing things that make others feel uncomfortable. Rather than showing people respect who are trying to live righteously, backsliders and unbelievers will force their sinful ways on others. When they don’t go along, they are often called names, insulted or ridiculed for their moral beliefs.

Foes, who aren’t accountable to God, are lovers of themselves.

Look at the many people around you that will not help someone unless they get an answer for the following question, “Well, what’s in it for me?”  Many people don’t think about God and how to please him, rather they think about how to please themselves. So with this kind of mentality, is it any wonder why someone who is in love with self and his or her lifestyle would be called, “selfish”?

Someone once told me, there isn’t anything wrong with acting selfish. He said, “If you don’t look out for you, who will?” It’s one thing protecting yourself from harmful situations and wanting what’s best for you, but it is a totally different thing when one is purposefully engaging in behaviors that self-destruct and will eventually affect those around him or her in negative ways. Think of a person who spends far too much time combing his or her hair in the morning, applying fragrances, and decorating his or her body. If you are relying on this person for a ride to work, he or she will negatively impact your getting there on time. How about someone who spends far too much time seated in front of the television eating? Years of self-indulgment will take away from time that could have been well-spent teaching a child, maintaining one’s home, building a relationship, and more. Acting selfishly has its place, like when one is on vacation and just wants to sit back and relax after months of working over-time. That wouldn't be the time to play babysitter or balance a spreadsheet from work--of course you would be acting selfishly.

Many of us were influenced by selfish individuals. We grew up with these people. They moved us to get all that we can in life, but they thought that through the process of  our “getting,” some of us would remember them.  The selfish rarely helps the selfish. 

When one has spent years trying to satisfy the needs of the flesh, do you really think they are going to reach back and do all they can for others? Sure, some will. But the majority of those who have much, do not give much. The Lord says, “To much is given much is required.” This principle doesn’t exist when dealing with someone filled with selfish ambition.  Selfish people are concerned about more ways to get more!

What does the Lord inspire James, Jesus’ brother, to say about this? “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:13-16, NIV).

Solution:

 

When people love themselves more than anyone or anything else in this world, you will find its often challenging to get them to hear anyone else’s viewpoint including matters pertaining to God. “For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's” (Philippians 2:21).  You can try to express your thoughts in such a way that he or she benefits.  Maybe he or she needs a spiritual uplift.  Share examples in the Bible.  Show the person that you are not acting unselfishly when you request this person be less selfish.  Give the selfish individual something to consider and why it is important to be generous toward others. 

A look back…

Before the word of God came into your life, you were more interested in your own thoughts and feelings. Be mindful of what might still need to occur in your selfish relative or friend's life for he or she to change the way they think and live.  Don't be too hard on him or her for acting selfishly.
 

Scripture Reference

 

Matthew 22:37-40

Ephesians 5:29

Luke 9:23-25

Proverbs 15:25

James 3:16

Pray

Lord, I thank you for teaching me how to love others use me how you see fit to share your gospel about love and being generous to those I come in contact with. I ask that you will give me the courage to speak lovingly to my relative/child/friend about his/her selfishness. Please change his/her heart in Jesus name.

Tempter

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

James 1:13

 

 

Challenge God’s people on their beliefs, criticize their actions, and then sit back and see what happens. That’s what the devil’s workers will do to you if you aren’t too careful, tempt you to sin. Before long, you are wondering why do you believe what you believe?

When Eve was tempted in the garden by the serpent one of the first things he did was put doubt in her mind about what God had forewarned about eating the forbidden fruit. The critic will tempt you to sin by first making you doubt what you believe. “Are you sure? That’s not what she meant. Maybe you misunderstood...Go on, try it. It won’t hurt. I got your back.” The critic comes up with many so-called comforting statements to get you to go along with whatever plan that leads you away from righteousness.

I had my share of tempting situations some I passed while others I didn’t. In every situation, there was always someone who would give me a long list of reasons as to why something would be good for me. If it wasn’t a man tempting me to go out with him or a woman trying to sell me something, this business of what was good for me always came up.

Relatives typically use “the good for you” speeches. “Try doing that, it might be good for you. I only want what’s best for you.” Of course, many of those individuals closest to you do want what is best for you. Some more than others, because they hope to benefit from your blessings.

As we all know tempting situations can destroy a man or woman trying to live right for the Lord. Jesus was tempted by Satan in the dessert (Matthew 4:1). Notice when you read this passage of Scripture he is led by the Spirit to be tempted by Satan. So does God, at times, lead us into situations where we can be tempted by the devil? Some believers disagree. You decide.

Have you ever made up in your mind you were going to do something for God, family, an employer, or someone else and then along comes all sorts of distractions? You get tempted by this opportunity. You get drawn into this event. You find yourself frequently thinking about something that you shouldn’t. Sometimes we refuse the trappings of the tempter that keep us from meeting our goals. But other times, we fall right into them!

Tempting situations don’t always come in those popular scenes we see on TV or read in a book like the damsel in distress or the handsome man who comes to the rescue in those scenarios. But sometimes temptation comes in subtle ways such as: money left sitting on a countertop, an opportunity to tell someone off, or a situation that makes one feel guilty afterward. Tempting circumstances can bring out the worst in people. Some people beat themselves up because they didn’t do certain things not realizing that God kept them out of the fire. Others blame loved ones for not encouraging them to do some things that could have very well caused all sorts of havoc in the family. However, those who do act on temptation they are faced with all sorts of consequences as a result of a few minutes of pleasure, fast money, or something else that causes much havoc on one's personal or professional life.

People who tempt you away from the Lord are not of God. People who tempt you to draw near to the Lord are God’s children. Sure, there are those tempting offers that are about building people up. From job offers to relationships, there are different people, places and things that God puts in our path that help us out. But we must trust in the Lord to ensure that these blessings are really just that blessings and not counterfeit ones that are really created to hurt believers while building Satan and his demons up.

Many tempting offers cross the doorsteps of churches all across our nations. Ministers get persuaded to open the doors of their congregation to people who are not about helping God’s people as much as they are about making money off of God’s people.  These deceiving speakers, teachers, and other guests are presented in front of the church congregation as experts, reputable, honest, and true.

Not long after emotional speeches, a few disturbing images, and prayers for certain members in the audience, a guest speaker is taking up an offering while promising that church members will be blessed for their generosity. Now I’m not saying that every visiting speaker is up to no good at one’s church, but what I am saying is that before you are tempted to share your money, consider who is this person and why has he or she appeared out of no where to minister in the place of your shepherd.

Sometimes there are deals behind the scenes that leaders create with guest speakers that if the congregation only knew, they would never consider sharing their money. Ask God to reveal to you the truth and trust that he will bless you whether you give to a certain man or woman or not. Sometimes our blessings come not because we act or don't act on a temptation to give to someone, but when we sit quietly and just listen to what the Holy Spirit tells us.

It is very tempting to want to argue with others about why we believe what we believe. Our faith is important to us, but we need not prove it to those who are mockers of God (Jude 1:18). We must be confident in who we are in Christ and know that when our lives come to an end, all that really matters is Jesus saying, “…Well done my good and faithful servant…” (Matthew 25:21).

God, to some critics, is like an automobile that some want to test drive. It looks nice, someone has said it drives well, and someone else has talked about the reaction he or she has received when buying one. So now the critic wants to see for his or her self. Knowing full well, it is a great car, he or she will bad mouth it simply because he or she can’t afford the sticker price.

Those that choose not to believe in God can’t afford the sacrifice that comes with serving him. They don’t want their comfortable worlds shaken up with truth. These are the same people who talk about how they “wish that would happen…wish they could go here…wish that some would do this or that for them…” but they aren’t willing to give up comfort for a periodic discomfort.

So they may take God and his people for a test ride, but when it comes to actually sitting down and doing something, “No thanks, God is for you, but not for me.” Meanwhile, they will tempt the one who is sold out for God, because the unbeliever isn’t convinced of the believer’s commitment to the Lord. However, the Holy Bible warns us to, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,” according to James 4:7.

Jesus was tempted by the devil after fasting for 40 days in the Book of Luke 4:2. Had Jesus been the type of person who simply took God for a test ride, he might not have stood strong against the devil’s tests. After the devil tempted Jesus unsuccessfully the Bible says he left him until an opportune time.

Free-spirited critics try out God like trying on a pair of clothes.

The tempter, who makes a career out of tempting others to do things whether they want to or not, is usually in a crisis or in some kind of situation he or she can’t see any way out. From bills that need to be paid to potential jail time, the free-spirited critic reluctantly asks others to pray for him or her.  Then this person will possibly start attending church during a crisis. However, once the tempted one has no need for God or his people, the individual stops attending church and listening to believers like he or she once did when they were feeling down.

Christian biblical teachings and church attendance is nothing but a good idea for the tempter who believes in God, a god or many gods, but doesn’t want to do much else. Church attendance is a thing to pass the time away for critics, distract them from issues, or a “pick me up” for some, but nowadays with so many of the biblical Scriptures disappearing out of pastoral speeches, people aren’t experiencing life-long changes. The tempter isn’t interested in making biblical teachings a way of life for the rest of his or her years. A Christ follower should refrain from being disappointed when the critic’s interest in your church and God’s teachings plummets before you can even ask if he or she has a middle name.

When dealing with one who is tempting you to be rebellious toward God or do something out of character, stand up for your beliefs.  Reieterate your point.  If he or she insists you do what he or she asks, don't.  Walk away, find some help, pray, but don't fall for anything that you know God would not be pleased about.  Your anointing costs far too much to lose!

Solution:

Just because a tempter will go to church with you this week doesn’t mean that they will continue to do so. To avoid feelings of disappointment, don’t assume that you have impacted them so much that they will keep coming rather pray for them and let God move on their spirit.

A look back…

Do you recall the times when you experienced low points in your life before you took God at his word? You may have been open to hear what a parent, relative, friend or even a stranger had to say about changes you needed to make in your life to find the peace and joy you so desperately desired. Then after you felt better again, you didn’t want to allow anyone anymore access to your private life.

Scripture Reference

Matthew 23:14

Romans 3: 6-8

James 4:4

Romans 12: 1-2

Isaiah 26:3

Colossians 3: 2-5

1 Peter 2:2

2 Peter 3:18

2 Peter 1:4

Prayer

Dear Lord be with _____________ may he/she believe once again in the power of your word. May he/she be led by someone or something that will bring him/her into a true relationship with you. Bind the enemy who distracts this person’s mind from you and cause he/she to experience your presence again in Jesus name, amen.

Are You in Bed with an Abuser? Do You Belong to an Abusive Group?

Poem: The Visitor by Nicholl McGuire

The Visitor

 

They said she was strange,

‘cause she told them, “Things have to change.”

 

No one knew her by her first name

She didn’t have too much fame.

 

She had a message from the Lord

The kind that cut like a sword.

 

She claimed she was gifted

Like flour she was sifted.

 

They didn’t want to hear what she had to say

Told her to go to the back and pray.

 

She tried to talk to them about God’s will.

They were worried about church positions that she might steal.

 

Fearful she would take attention away from The Man

They told her to sit down and gave her a fan.

 

When would she be allowed to speak?

Baptized in the spirit at a nearby creek.

 

But she didn’t go to church enough, give enough

or know enough people.

So outdoors she went and just stared at the steeple.

By Nicholl McGuire

 

The Holy Spirit may use you to stand before a large audience to speak a word, but there may be those that will work very hard to keep you from saying what you know that God has placed upon your heart. Allow them to test you and always keep your ear to the Lord. The difference between those that hear from a god and those that hear from the one true God is that one group is saying things to appease self while the others are giving messages that either uplift, warn, or strengthen the church and it usually isn’t a “feel good” message.

Pray for a discerning spirit so that you are not pushing the right person away from you while keeping the wrong person near.

Exaggerator

A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.

Proverbs 14:5

 

Exaggerating and lying go hand in hand. You plan to shop for a home, car, or new appliance. There waiting for you at the store with a pleasant smile and a friendly demeanor is none other than the exaggerator! You take a look at the store’s merchandise and there he is saying, “This will definitely work for you it has all the features you ever wanted! We have never received any complaints about this! Buy it now and get an exceptional deal!” says the “Anxious for a Sale” store clerk.

 

I have learned the best places to visit when thinking about making a major purchase is the forum sections and review pages of online stores. These companies just can’t keep up with all the buyers’ comments. After visiting several sites or more, a potential buyer has a good idea whether his or her future purchase is worth the investment. You can also perform this kind of research before apartment touring, grocery store shopping, registering for a class, visiting a city, or eating at a restaurant. There simply is no excuse anymore to fall for what exaggerators in consumer sales tell you anymore.

As much as some of us don’t want to admit or believe it, Christians exaggerate. “It was so bad…I didn’t have any food, no money…I didn’t know where I was going to live!” You may have heard someone tell a story of calamity and how God brought them out; however, not every story someone tells is truth as we all know.

Sometimes a person will fabricate a story for the following reasons: to protect one’s self, improve one’s image, fear what people might say if truth were to be revealed, desire friendship or want support on a matter.  When one distorts the truth, this person sets his or her self up for the critique of the enemy. Satan is all-too-ready to use his demons to pounce on the unsuspecting. The exaggerator becomes nothing more than a liar. Listeners of this story-teller will warn others that he or she can’t be trusted. Eventually, the braggart will lose friends and gain enemies especially if this person has used names in his or her stories.

An exaggerator is a master manipulator and knows how to build up a story to pull on one’s heart strings. Not every exaggerator is concerned about what people think or whether or not they have a friend or foe in their camp. All they choose to focus on is their story and was it convincing enough to render desired results. The exaggerator wants you to feel sorry for him before he cuts your throat. Think of some of the movies you may have watched when a lead character doesn’t have enough courage to kill the enemy. What does the enemy do? He or she waits for the opportunity to strike when the merciful main character isn’t looking. The braggart doesn’t like to be exposed; therefore, when you least expect it, attack he or she will.

Like a child, the exaggerator knows how to cry, scream, and falsify a story to make the listener do something. Sometimes the liar gets what he or she wants and sometimes this person doesn’t. In Acts 5, Ananias and Saphira sold land and took part of the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet. Peter knew that the couple had not given all the monies they had received from the deal. As a result of lying, both died.

Sometimes Christians or people who generally think they are “good” will pretend as if they have made great sacrifices for others. They will list everything they have ever done for everyone; meanwhile, God knows that these same people have not given their best. They paid a bargain price for an inexpensive product or service then allowed others to think that they spent top dollar. They give something away that they claim is high in quality, a name-brand good coveted by others, but in all actuality the item didn’t serve them well and was cheaply made. These exaggerators know they will never buy a certain risky, smelly, broken, or cheap item again for themselves, but it’s okay to give it to someone else while bragging how much he or she assisted an individual or group.

 

Exaggerators are actors. They will pretend that they did the best they could to help someone else while whispering to others how their supposed good deed was all for show. Meanwhile, they keep back their best for self or those closest to them. They will lie and say they gave money to support this cause, borrowed money for that one, and invested their savings to help a group. However, after a little research and a few interviews, you find out these exaggerators may have helped someone years ago with so little money and service, yet what was done was nothing to brag about.  These liars are exposed and no one trusts what they say or do.

The enemy flatters the Christian who isn’t discerning of his evil schemes by the use of many words. “You are a great person to be around, a wonderful family man, a trusted friend, and a wise person.” The exaggerator, who claims to know the Lord, believes that he hears from him and will say many things so as to look like he is wise. But God’s word says, “He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him,” 1 John 2:4.

Just as the exaggerator will make witnesses believe that all is well with someone when it really isn’t, he will also try to convince the believer that a situation with someone else is worse then what it seems particularly if that person is a beloved relative or friend.  In my life I have had my share of people around me who put thoughts in my head when it came to dealing with a challenging situation. These tidbits from others sometimes were irrelevant, non-factual, and discouraging. But the worse advice that anyone can give is the kind that blows things out of proportion! Their words can frazzle already stressed emotions. When confronted or questioned about their so-called advice, the exaggerator would point the finger at me saying things like, “Well you said…so I did…and if I hadn’t done that, then you wouldn’t have gotten XYZ.” The exaggerator does things he or she knows is wrong and when told about those things, he or she has the audacity to criticize!

I don’t ask people to lie for me nor do I encourage it. If someone chooses to embellish events, I have a choice: I can either go along, remain silent or remove myself from the situation. If I go along, I am no better than the exaggerator. If I remain silent and then confront the person later on it, that tends to work for me, but isn't always the best option. But if I speak up about an issue immediately and hold the exaggerator accountable for his or her actions then I am letting him or her know that one’s behavior is not tolerated in my camp.  His or her story doesn't have a chance to spread like wildfire especially when their are witnesses. 

Most of the time, I prefer to keep unnecessary drama out of my life! I don’t need someone to exaggerate my need in order to get something for me or manipulate someone else to force their hand to feed me. But I know people who will do just that for self as well as others! Then once they do it, they say, “You owe me.”

I use to do the following to help those who I knew were exaggerators in order to keep the peace. I would use money, perform a service, offer advice, and even pray to remedy situations I didn’t create—talk about drama! Then what would usually happen is the same person or group I would try to help would turn around and talk negative about me, because they have won friends and money by exaggerating, so those who tell the truth are bad for business. Once confronted, the exaggerator/traitor would act as if it was everyone else’s fault, but their own, for causing the drama or rearrange words so as not to appear guilty. “Well it wasn’t me, I didn’t say that. You misunderstood. I wouldn’t do that. Keep my name out your mouth! You should know I wouldn’t do that!” Drama begets drama, so I started cutting both exaggerating, lying men and women out of my life who had been around for over 15 years after praying and fasting.

There are those who are natural exaggerators. In other words, they don’t need any prompting from others. However, if they choose to do such things, then they ought to pay the consequences especially if they claim to be a child of God, right? When Ananais decided to lie about the price of the land, he got his wife involved which resulted in her death too. After reading this story in the Bible, I realized that it doesn’t matter one’s title, (since God is no respecter of persons, according to Peter) or how much one does for the church and more, it’s best to never get involved in your unsaved, backsliding relatives’ mess especially when it comes to kingdom business! You never know when the Holy Spirit might show up and show out! The same judgment that God places on the exaggerator for his or her inflated stories, if you are an accomplice, he will place on you!

It is very easy for our adversary to tempt a needy man or woman to blow up a problem. I recall when I was in college and needed additional monies for food. I decided to sign up for food stamps, but unfortunately was turned down. I was puzzled by this since I knew others who were in college and were getting food stamps. I later learned they had exaggerated their situations and had left off their college attendance on their applications. With that information, maybe I could have reapplied a year or so later, but I chose not to. I reasoned that if I had to lie to get some food stamps then I didn’t need them, I would just find another way to make the extra money to get more food in the house. Months later, God gave me a concept, "Start typing for people." So that is what I did to obtain extra money for food.  I didn't have to exaggerate a problem or exaggerate my services either to obtain business--God provided! 

The exaggerator may add details, subtract details, or twist a story to tickle the ears of the listener. However, the enemy knows that in time, a discerning child of God will find out the truth, and it is then when a good relationship turns sour between the individuals involved.

Angry critics exaggerate situations to try to quiet or control you.

When an exaggerator is caught red-handed exaggerating a situation making it worse than it is or better than it ought to be, an attempt to share the word of God is shut-down with exaggerated statements made by the critic. The following comments I will share to enlighten you and notice the words in capital letters. These are clues that you have an exaggerator in your presence. People like this love using these words. “Why are you shoving the word of God down my throat? You are ALWAYS talking to me about God! Why do you ALWAYS say that! Do you ALWAYS act like that? You are SO wrong! EVERYONE thinks they are SO MUCH better than me!” The exaggerator’s questions and opinions is designed to get the attention off the lies and on you! Don’t fall for it, stick to the truth! If you must explain something to an exaggerator, say what needs to be said with as little words as possible and move on. In this way, he or she can’t say that “you are spending SO MUCH time talking and you NEVER let me talk and you ALWAYS find fault with me!”

Sometimes controversial statements or humor is used to deflect from the seriousness of the topic. “Oh here she goes with her God talk AGAIN! They think they are SO holy! ALL he does is go to sleep and wake up with God on his mind! Even God says, “I need a break from you, you talk SO MUCH.” Similar statements are used to frustrate the believer and hopefully get one to stop talking about God.

What is the best way to get someone to be quiet about something you no longer want to listen to? Some of you might respond with, “I would just excuse myself and walk away.” While others might tell the speaker, “I’m sorry to cut you off, but I have something else to do.” Well angry critics who despise Christians may say similar things, but also use other strategies coupled with their statements, because they are thinking long term. They don’t want to offer a welcoming environment for a Christian to keep talking about spiritual things. For instance, the angry, exaggerator type of critic may say something like this to his or herself, “I NEVER want to hear this conversation come up AGAIN about God with her, so next time I’m going to let her have it! She’s always talking about him!” The terribly offended exaggerator will act like you are the worst person in their world and will inflate everything you say. He or she will talk about how hurt you made them feel. “My father use to talk that way to me about the Bible and I just can’t take hearing that…You remind me of him! He was so crazy and fanatical about this sort of thing. I have heard that people with mental illnesses lean on religion a lot.” Most likely, you said something that was never intended to hurt this emotional person, but now that you did, he or she may tell others what you said to him or her. Maybe the exaggerator’s father in the previous example wasn’t that bad or maybe he was either way, the unbeliever or backslider is trying to place a guilt trip on the Christian and at the same time insult him or her so that he or she will ultimately stop witnessing.

You may have given someone some small piece of advice recently, and it may have been very convicting to a critic’s spirit. This person may know that he or she is doing wrong. But because you pointed it out, this person will exaggerate something you said, while at the same time, attack you by bringing up your flaws. If the critic blows up how you made him or her feel, you should know that this person is trying to make you feel guilty.

Another tactic your foe might use, is to take a story you may have shared and somehow make it look like what you went through is worse then what it seems. In this way, the critic’s life experiences will appear better than yours. Meanwhile, this exaggerator hopes to make you feel bad for whatever reason and once again, get you to stop talking about God. Now some will honestly claim that some believers in fact do talk about God a lot, no exaggeration here. However, there are ways to address one’s concern without exaggeration, manipulation, and other similar things. A simple request to share more about an interest, a work experience, or a story about family history may help communication be more balanced. But a true follower of Christ, will not leave his teachings at home. Understand that when you decided to walk with the Lord, he became a part of you; therefore, you walk, talk and breathe him. No one can stay in your presence for long and not come away with some comment, statement or question related to spiritual things. Being a new creature in Christ doesn’t mean that you function with him.

Dishonest critics will exaggerate their personal experiences to gain sympathy. They may create a ridiculous story to play on one’s emotions so that they can get the naive to give to them yet again. Why? Because they know most Christians are taught to act unselfishly. However, enemies of God fail to remember that many Christians, give as God leads. An enemy takes God’s words out of context such as, “Ask and ye shall receive.” They will amplify the meaning of certain Scriptures in an attempt to make the believer feel guilty, sad or depressed about what they are or aren’t doing for people. As Christians, we must remind these exaggerators that our final authority in all matters is Jesus. If we are indwelled with the Holy Spirit, then God will use us how he sees fit in spite of man’s personal opinion.

Lastly, critics, who like to exaggerate, might redirect attention you placed on them about their negative behavior back on you; therefore, putting you in a position to want to defend yourself. For many Christians, put in this predicament, they find themselves arguing with critics. Don’t fall for the “I am so hurt. I asked you to help me, but you didn’t” trick by the enemy. The critic might also use a negative statement when he or she sees that his or her plan is not working. Have you ever heard this one, “You Christians are all the same!” hoping that this attack on your faith will cause you to do what they want. This type of action may create a desire within you to prove to them that you do act righteously. Avoid the temptation to play this mind game. People who are masters at getting people to do what they want will try just about anything to keep from being influenced by the person they are trying to control. Did I mention the enemy is controlling too? It is very easy to motivate an exaggerator to manipulate a situation in order to get a desired outcome. Whines, tears, insults, and craziness are just a few ways an exaggerator will get the attention of God’s chosen. Critics hope that unsuspecting individuals will go along with their program by any means necessary.

Solution:

Never give into a critic’s exaggerated claims or accusations. Always stay on point, try to be brief, and question them just as much, if not more, than they are questioning you. As long as the debate is civil, by all means make your point. Let God be your guide, but when you start feeling the rapid heartbeat, heavy breathing, even an ache somewhere in your body, back off. Thank the critic for the opportunity to talk, then go about your activities.

Your most powerful weapon against spiritual warfare is prayer and silence. If you noticed in the Bible, Jesus spent time talking to people who were willing to listen and those who attempted to challenge him, he answered not with preaching, screaming or making threats, but in peace. Jesus used questions, story-telling, silence, miracles, signs, and wonders to make his points. Ask God to use you how he sees fit. Nowadays, we have television, email, books, radio, CDs, digital cameras, DVDs and so much more we can use to prove a point. Sometimes it is better to use things rather than our own mouths to spread God’s messages.

A look back…

You exaggerated stories, opinions, faults and other things to get people to either like, accept, or get something from them in the past. Remember why you felt the need to do these things. Could you be saying or doing something to make someone feel like they need to exaggerate when talking to you? People who are often rejected by you, will feel the need to exaggerate their circumstances.

Scripture Reference

Exodus 20:16

1 Timothy 1:10

2 Timothy 3:16

Proverbs 19:9

Psalm 116:11

John 8:4

Revelation 21:8

Prayer

Sometimes I am tempted to go along with an exaggerator’s boastful claims, bless me with the courage to stand up and speak truthfully when necessary. Assist me with my own desires to be prideful when talking to relatives, friends, and strangers. Help me to discern the sincerely needy from those who are not in Jesus name.

Rebel

But if ye will not obey the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then shall the hand of the LORD be against you, as it was against your fathers.

1 Samuel 12:15

Rebels have been around for centuries. During biblical times, there were rebels who rebelled against God. We also see in the Scriptures that rebellious, disobedient, ungodly, godless, unrighteous, and unholy are just some of the many terms used to describe one who is not a follower of God’s commands.

Hollywood created the image of a rebel as being cool, smart, and fun to be around, but in all actuality the rebel is nothing more than an angry fool. The rebel gains like-minded friends because he or she has done some unorthodox things to win their approval. The Christian is warned in 1 Timothy 2:16 about talking to ungodly people, “Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.”

As you read these lines of text, some of you maybe saying to yourself, “I know that already. I love the Lord. I listen to him.” But do you really? Sometimes God isn’t always speaking directly to you. There are those moments in the day when he is using people, places and things to indirectly speak to you. If we are sincerely honest with ourselves, we aren’t always listening.

I recall a time when God was speaking to me directly, but I got so busy doing what I wanted that I forgot what he told me. When I looked back at a journal where I had written his commands, months later, I was stunned. I found myself doing the very things that he had warned me against. I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. No use in trying to organize a campaign to support my wrong-doing. It wasn’t necessary to call everyone I know and say, “Look I can make this thing right. Let me just manipulate a few scriptures to justify my actions.” You see, that’s what we do when we refuse truth. We start looking for ways to rebel against it. The correct way to react to our own constructive criticism or when someone else calls us out on something wrong is to do like David did in the Bible, “Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it” (Psalm 141:5, NIV).

Others may be saying, “I would love to hear from the Lord, but I just don’t know when he is speaking to me.” God supplies enough hearing aids around us that if we don’t believe we are hearing from him, we can always pick up one of his hearing aids. There is the Holy Bible (King James Version,) audio, print media, and even wise counselors that can help you discipline yourself to hear from the Lord. You must be willing to study the word of God, pray, and fast daily. Most people don’t set aside the time, because they are more concerned about what others are doing and less concerned about what God is doing.

Rebels really are harmless critics in the sense that they really don’t care what you do, because they are often protesting about things they are passionate about. If you are interested in joining the march, the club, the group, or some other function, then by all means, but if you don’t, the ship keeps moving.

There are good rebels, the kind that protest wrong-doing like Jesus when he taught people about his Father and challenged them to look at how they were living. But then, there are bad rebels, the kind that are like the troublemaker looking to start wars without a cause. You heard the phrase, “A rebel without a cause.” Those bad rebels just don’t like the establishment, authority figures, rich people, or anyone that is disturbing their way of life by telling them how to live. These rebels don’t encourage, uplift, rebuild, or do anything to help others. All they want is an audience and a mic. “Let’s take down the establishment…oh by the way, send your payments to XYZ company so that we can do this again next year,” says the organizer. But you have to ask yourself, “Before I spend any money, what progress was made?”

You may have warned family and friends about different work codes, government laws, school rules, and other regulations. You wanted them to understand that their rights may be impacted due to so many changes. You probably tried to get them involved in a march or two. But to no avail, they weren’t buying into it. Then when something they liked became no more, they cried, “Why did they take that away?” Your only response was, “I tried to warn you.”

You may be the type that works hard trying to keep people out of trouble, but your audience may be comprised of many lazy, big mouths who are all talk and no go. You may have wondered, “Why don’t they just listen? Why do they act like that? All they had to do was just sign a paper, interview with the media, stand in the march…” Many people don’t participate in things because they don’t want the inconvenience, they aren’t interested, they didn’t create it, or they found that one’s efforts would be all in vain because there isn’t enough money or power behind one’s group. So what do they do? They rebel, they do what they want, how they want, and when they want, and there is never anything you can do with a made up mind.

In 1 Timothy 1:9-10, God tells us, “But we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully; Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine…”

Rebels who don’t see any good in good will do things to upset our society. They will steal, kill, lie, and more. This is why laws must be put in place to maintain a sense of control over those fools out there who just don’t care about you, me and any other breathing thing! As much as those who don’t love or want a relationship with Christ, they have to at least respect the fact that many laws in our society were founded on biblical principles more specifically the 10 Commandments. If it wasn’t for laws, the atheist, agnostic, homosexual, lesbian, and others who are unsaved and backsliding would not be protected. The Christian, Muslim, Jew, and others who have a faith also would not be safe. Those men, women and children of different skin tones and cultures also wouldn’t be protected if it wasn’t for laws. So while the rebel has issue with someone telling he or she what to do, this person must understand that without the law he or she just couldn’t live comfortably.

I had my share of breaking the rules, but it doesn’t come without a price. People who mean you well never quite look at you the same. They don’t quite trust that you are a child of God despite the evidence that you have stopped many of your wicked ways. Slip up just a little and someone is saying, “I told you she hadn’t changed. She is just doing the devil’s work!”

Satan would love to take a Christian’s freedoms away. He assumes that if a man or woman has no freedom, he can’t do much to better society. Rebels believe that any strides to uplift a community means that someone’s rights will be taken away. This isn’t always the case. Sometimes those who are complaining the loudest about rights being taken away are usually behind the scenes doing something they have no business doing such as: participating in illegal activities like selling drugs, receiving money from shady businesses, and accepting bribes and other things from people running from the law. Most of us know that when certain civil rights are taken away, people will become depressed, stressed or even worse kill themselves or others. Therefore, we will rally to stop certain plans from coming into fruition. But the enemy will encourage people to become rebels. He will use chaos to create so-called order; which ultimately strips people of more of their freedoms while padding the pockets of organizers and most importantly the master minds behind the scenes.

The enemy is a control freak that creates the rules for the masses, but those same rules need not apply to him. He doesn’t mind breaking his own rules to satisfy himself and/or select individuals whom he favors. I learned this young about an enemy. When playing many board games where I read the rules and so did my enemies, I noticed that if the rules were slightly altered during the game that I or my enemy could manipulate an outcome to work in our favor. You can get away with this sort of thing for awhile, but eventually someone is going to get wise to your “game” and expose you.

We are currently living in a time where there are many people who realize that they are being manipulated into buying, investing, supporting, and worshiping things that are not about God’s business, are not well-meaning, and will definitely not get you ahead in life. The so-called American dream isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. Many people refuse to spend a lifetime investing in a home that they may or may not ever own. Others are tired of listening to the media hype about what is the next greatest, best and most wonderful athlete, singer, speaker, movie, food, clothing, and hair style. Many of us are catching on that the TV screen, radio, Internet and more are simply tools to get you to spend more of your hard-earned money to build the income of those at the top. Meanwhile, a child can’t go to college without a parent borrowing money, a woman can’t have a baby without getting on some form of public assistance, a man can’t get a job without sacrificing many hours away from his family, one’s grandparents can’t live worry-free in their golden years, because they didn’t save enough money in their youth and so on and so on. Elitists manufacture a climate that screams, “Recession!” Then what do we do? Rather than rebel against spending more money and doing other wasteful things with our money, we buy more!

Rebels become critics when they can’t get their way. They don’t want anyone telling them anything about how to live, but it is okay for them to create speeches that criticize one’s faith. They believe its okay to mock God’s people. They find all sorts of ways to keep the Christian faith or anything that sounds remotely like Christianity out of public view. When one speaks up about the rebel’s so-called “freedom” speeches, he or she is shut-down and labeled as being everything but a child of God. Rebels want to be free to have sex with whoever whenever, but when they have a disease they want someone to help them. Rebels want to strap on a gun and protect one’s family, but when someone gets shot in their home over a minor dispute they want mercy. Rebels want to travel all over the world and say and do what they want in another country, but when they are jailed or raped in the same country, they want someone to administer justice. Rebels want to run away from home, but when they realize that all that glitters isn’t gold in the world, they want to come back. Thank God for mercy! Thank God that he loves us enough to say, “You can come back home.” But a rebellious critic? He is going to say, “You did it all wrong! You messed up for all of us! Stay right where you are. When you run with us, to each his own! But if you have a little money maybe we can work something out.”

People in the church are rebelling against leadership right now! Some are doing it for the right reasons such as: God blessing them with a higher calling elsewhere, the minister and wife is not living right, the children are running amuck in the church, and the church is going downhill because God isn’t blessing it anymore. However, others are rebelling against the church for the wrong reasons. Some people have been wounded by fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and others simply don’t want to live the Christian life anymore. God doesn’t interfere with man or woman’s free will, but he will protect his sheep from the wolf. What happens is when some leave the church, they become wolves and they are just as guilty as the devil and his demons, they try to make the sheep stray away from the shepherd because they did. God will not allow a man, woman or child to take his sheep from him. You can see evidence of this when these same people end up being exposed by the church, nothing in their lives seem to be working out, they are often crying out to someone for help, and they are frequently being misled by dark forces. “There is no real peace in their lives, no matter how much these wayward sheep smile,” says the Lord as told to me while preparing this book.

Critics are pleasure seekers and fight against anything that prevents them from doing their own thing.

As long as they are left to do what pleases them, a critic will be your best friend, but start telling them why what they are doing is wrong and they don’t want to hear it. Popular phrases critics like to use: “You do your thing and I will do mine…Don’t tell me how to live my life…Did I ask you anything? Don’t start beating me over the head with the Bible…I already know that…You think you know so much…Don’t judge me…” Yet, when the shoe is on the other foot, the critic will do the very thing that they don’t want being done to them—be critical.

Solution:

When the critic objects to your questions or advice, back off. Save your wisdom for someone who will listen or at the very least, debate intelligently.

A look back…

Remember you didn’t always take everyone’s advice given to you and most likely you still don’t know matter how well-meaning.

Scripture Reference

 

Colossians 3:6

Hebrews 4:11

1 Samuel 15

Romans 2:23

Prayer

When I feel tempted to do things that go against your word, remind me to live righteously, Lord. Send your angels to protect me from enemy schemes. Bless me with words of wisdom to help my brother and sister in Christ who is in error in Jesus name.

Fool

Yea also, when he that is a fool walketh by the way, his wisdom faileth him, and he saith to every one that he is a fool.

Ecclesiastes 10:3

We have all met our share of fools and/or played the fool some time or another in our lives. The critical fool comes to you with a lot of nonsense. The world is a joke, your beliefs are a joke and anything that looks a little bit funny, a fool is going to find a reason to laugh. When you are serious, he tries to make a joke. When you are angry, the fool tries to play you for a fool. If you aren’t too careful, you might start acting like a fool.

As much as we desire to help people, we must admit to ourselves that some people just can’t be helped. Unless God himself comes down from heaven and touches some of these people personally, they will remain fools.

Think of all the time you think you might have wasted in your life trying to help a fool, just know that God saw your efforts even if the fool didn’t appreciate or care about what you did for him or her. Some fools criticize your efforts not in a mean-spirited way, but in what they consider a playful way. “I’m just kidding…you know I love everything you do for me…but next time make me a sandwich, fluff my pillow and be sure my bath is ready wifey.” Do you think this fool is serious? Maybe not. But there is a lot said in a joke.

Fools have to keep their stand-up routine fresh so they will talk about you to others, and even accuse you of acting like a fool. Maybe at one time you were, a fool for love. You may have believed that if you loved a certain foolish partner enough, cared for him or her, and did everything they asked, they would change, but even God himself had to remind you, “It just isn’t in the plan, move on.” You may have continued doing for the fool until one day you awoke to a harsh reality that you were an even bigger fool for putting up with the fool’s nonsense for so long!

Critical fools aren’t just hanging out at the water cooler making fun of the boss or laughing at the dinner table during the holidays, but fools show up when you least expect it. Although they may appear nice and polite, they too, like so many of the other critics described in this book, have another side that isn’t so jovial.

In 1 Samuel 25, we read of Nabal, whose name means fool. After David and his army watched over this man’s servants, animals and property, he made a request for Nabal to be favorable toward his men since they were going to be in his area during a festive time; however, Nabal took offense and questioned who was this David and assumed that these were servants breaking away from their masters. Not only that, he didn’t want to share his food and drink with them either despite their good deeds. David received word about Nabal’s negative reaction to his request. He felt like Nabal was paying him “evil for good,” according to the scripture. Therefore, he was ready to kill the man and destroy everything else that he had owned. However, the man’s wife Abigail rushed to her husband’s defense. She saved him from David’s wrath; however, days later God struck Nabal and he died.

From this story, it is clear that Nabal did something that many of us have been guilty of jumping to conclusions, assuming the worse, being controlling and overprotective when there is no need to be. If Nabal had took the time to ask further questions of his servants, observe the men, and talk with his wife, his life may have been spared. Think of times when you may have thought badly of someone only to later find out all your suspicions were proven false?

The critical fool shuts out wisdom and the people who deliver it.

Think of a student for a moment in any classroom setting. When the individual attends classes he or she is reading from text that someone else has written and hopefully obtaining information that will help him or her perform a task in the future. It is safe to assume that a wise student attending classes is not only receiving the information he or she is reading, but the individual is also questioning the text, finding additional ways to use it, understanding the text, meeting with others about it, and doing other things that could help the student grow in wisdom. Yet, the fool, may glance at the text, pick out the parts he or she disagrees with while ignoring the rest, and avoid talking to others about it while simply treating the book as nothing more than leisure reading to pass the time away.

Now as a believer, you are receiving biblical information and applying it to your life, but some of you will also teach, question, and use it to create additional materials to help you and others. With all of your studying, you are growing in wisdom.

Critics don’t want to do any of these things unless somehow they can use the material to attack others while elevating self. They aren’t interested in deep study. They aren’t interested in discovering ways that they could become a better student of the gospel.

I personally believe this same attitude is what separates the good laymen and women of the gospel from the bad ones. Some are too busy telling everyone else what to do, but they aren’t interested in applying the Scriptures to their own lives. Is it any wonder men and women aren’t getting saved and living their lives for Christ in record numbers? Sometimes the teachers distributing the material don’t understand enough about their own walk to help someone else.

Critics know that in order for one to be considered wise, he or she will have to read, write, meditate and do other things that will sometimes conflict with his or her personal habits. Some will fake knowledge while pretending to be concerned about people. While others will claim they don’t understand what is required of them, “I don’t know what you are talking about, I can’t do it…that’s too difficult…I don’t have time,” some might say. They may start recalling old stories of bad teachers from the past that didn’t teach them anything or strict parents who preached to them about everything. Although all of these reasons are legitimate as to why a person may not want to pursue higher education, learn more about God, or better themselves physically, they shouldn’t keep others from growing in wisdom with their negative talk.

Solution:

 

When the opportunity is there to study the Bible, even if it means a chapter a day, that’s what believers should do and then apply it to their daily living.  For instance, someone is acting foolishly toward you and others, talk to this person away from public view.  If need be, record a phone conversation only if you feel that the fool might cause future problems.  Get straight to the point when talking to the fool.  Don't laugh or joke with him or her when you know the message you are trying to convey is serious.  Separate yourself from the fool when he or she continues to disrespect you. 

The new believer, who might still act very much like a fool, is a work in progress, and in time he or she will be presented with the opportunity to say yes or no when it comes to accepting Jesus into his or her life. We should never force anyone by scare tactics, pressure, material wealth or any thing else to get them to accept the Christian faith.

However, we should periodically reread the Bible verses that talk about the fool, so that we may be prepared for them when they come along wanting to argue or manipulate the scripture for their own selfish reasons. We must also keep in mind that we too can easily look like a fool by disputing with a fool while chasing after them with wisdom they are not ready to hear. Just as people go to lawyers, doctors, and psychiatrists in time of need, so too will they come to you as God directs.

A look back…

Someone may have told you to read the Bible, attend church, change your dress attire, and make other changes you weren’t ready to make; therefore, you made excuses, put up a fuss or simply told him or her, “No.” In time, you noticed some of the things you were doing in your life were foolish. Gradually, you decided to consider what a family member, friend or stranger had been telling you. As days or years passed, you made some adjustments, but most likely not on God’s messenger or advisers’ time watch.

Our responsibility is to drop the seeds of wisdom in the sinner’s mind as God moves us, then trust that in time those seeds will sprout and grow.

Scripture Reference

Proverbs 1:5

Proverbs 8:33

Proverbs 9:9

Proverbs 13: 9-10

Proverbs 18:15

Prayer

Lord, show me where I am going wrong in my ministering to the lost. I don’t want to put pressure on my brothers or sisters to make changes in their lives that they aren’t ready to make at this time. Tell me what it is that I should be saying and doing to cause them to draw nearer to you and move on their hearts and minds in Jesus name.

Know-It-All

Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than of him. Proverbs 26:12

Some mature, backsliding believers, new Christians with a college degree, people who love to travel to around the world, and others who spend much time watching TV and reading books are usually guilty of the following, acting like Know-It-Alls. You say, “No, not I…” but most likely, there is someone in your circle that would disagree. Try asking them one day, “Do I act like a know-it all?”

Some believers claim to “know that Scripture already, know that pastor, know this program, know God, know marriage, know parenting…” But if we all knew so much about life, love and everything in between, then what on earth do we need God for? Clearly, none of us knows everything about everything no matter how much education, experience, or years on this planet.

God doesn’t need nor want the Know-It-All in his group. We see evidence of this when Satan desired to be God. What did the Lord do? Cast him and his demons out of heaven. A foe of the faith acts very much like a Know-It-All when he or she is called into question about his or her criticism. “Well I just believe…I have studied many books and watched many programs…I know about your faith, some of my relatives were ministers. No one can tell me anything about that, because I know!” The Know-It-All is ready to do battle when you start to hear that list of “I know” phrases. He or she is most likely starting to sweat under his or her armpits. One’s heartbeat is beginning to increase, the voice is changing, and he or she is ready to defend whatever you throw his or her way even if God is moving you to speak the most eloquent, prophetic words, messages of exhortation or rebuke. The “dignified” type of Know-It-All, educated professional, or someone who simply doesn’t want to cause much of a stir for fear that his or her reputation might be tarnished if he or she acts out of line will be careful what he or she says. Even though this person doesn’t want to hear anything you and your God has to say, he or she isn’t going to stoop low with name-calling, loud-mouthing, and cursing. Rather, he or she is going to either talk in a self-controlled voice posing many questions and defensive comments, digress, excuse his or herself, or remain silent the rest of the conversation, that is, if you don’t do any of these things first. But the unrestrained, free-thinking type of Know-It-All is going to argue, denounce your faith, and might even call you, your family, and anyone like you “liar, confused, false, crazy, weird, strange, loser, uneducated, ignorant, foolish, stupid…” Parents tend to be the first to act this way toward children who call their misdeeds into question. According to Ephesians 6:4, fathers are instructed not to provoke children to wrath and they are to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. But sincerely, how many heads of households are really doing just that? Looking at the many reports of violence in schools, disrespectful youths, and argumentative partners, it is apparent that the father is not living a life influenced by the Holy Spirit.

When you share Scriptures, wisdom from the Holy Spirit and personal experience with the Know-It-All, he or she is busy saying, “I know…yes I know that too. You don’t have to tell me, listen I have been on this planet long enough to know…I don’t need you or any one else telling me a thing about my life.”

So why bother conversing with someone if he or she isn’t open to receiving advice? Why bother venting about your situation, asking questions of others and contributing to the lives of people if all you want is a one-way conversation about “I, me” and “my?” God showed me things about this walk that wasn’t always nice, agreeable and friendly, people were going to fight about all sorts of truth while claiming “to know” something already which oftentimes, I found they really didn’t know, they just didn’t want me to think that they didn’t know. Why would they act this way, because the Lord should they were doing and saying some things that made them an enemy of Him, not necessarily an enemy of me. This is where many of us believers fall away from God, we take what others say personally and don’t permit the Holy Spirit to work through us during those tension filled moments; instead we act weakly, play the same game that the foe is playing, or walk away feeling defeated. The battle isn’t yours or mine with the Know-It-All, it is God’s!

It isn’t any wonder that some of us have a hard time making friends, keeping friends and being a good friend. Our conversations at times are riddled with envy, anger, and an “I am god” philosophy. We are unable to represent Christ well and do his will when we refuse to remove “I” off the throne of God.

Think about this for a moment, you are invited to attend a function and are having a good time with a few friends. Along comes someone who listens intently to what you and your friends are saying. Before you know it, this person interrupts the conversation with a lot of boasting about what he won’t put up with and how you shouldn’t do XYZ, “And that’s why I have a good life because I don’t do this and I don’t do that either!” He then spouts off about his experience in certain subject areas when the question is raised, “Well how did you avoid this and what did you do about that?” After a 45 minute discussion filled with the Know-It-All’s phrases of how good he is and wrong you are, you and your friends are put off by this braggart and head for the exit door.

The Know-It-All Backslider type who “sometimes I feel the Holy Spirit moving,” tends to fall in the category of liar too. Let me explain. This person may not have much knowledge in a certain subject matter, but will pretend like he or she knows a lot even when it is evident that he or she lacks information to speak about certain subjects. Yet, Satan, with his prideful schemes, will convince the weak believer or unbeliever, “You know that already, so why bother listening to this clown? You have connections. You have been places. You have a degree…” Despite all the evidence that warns, “Don’t say anything. If you do, you might end up lying,” the weak-minded will go along with his or her supposed education on the topic. God tells me he sees this sort of behavior over and over again even when men and women believe their thoughts and ways are held in secret. The best defense in any conversation where an adversary is trying to get the best of you or with someone who simply wants to know something say, “I need to learn more about that. I am unfamiliar with that topic. Let me call someone for help.” The conversation ends before it begins, because if the devil intended to use someone to upset you with information, he can’t now because you don’t know anything. Your foe will then find someone else to distress with his or her topic.

The Know-It-All puffs his or herself up; rather than listens to his or her audience. When he or she is not the focal point of a discussion, this person will brag about their spouse, mother, sister, cousin, daughter and anyone else who may have had a difficulty and overcame it so as to appear smart about a subject. “Well that’s nice that your son does so much for you, my children have been wonderful about helping me too. I use to do a lot for my parents too. We are a family that loves helping one another!” The Know-It-All will then add unsolicited tips about things that no one has asked about which makes him or her come off a bit strange. “You might want to try talking to your daughter about this…I think that you would also want to do this too.” Now the listener is put off, “Did I ask this person for his or her opinion/suggestion?”

The Lord told me while writing this, that too much talking, no matter how pleasant, can cause problems—cut your conversation short. There have been those moments when phone calls went out at the right time, interruptions occurred when a discussion should have ended 10 minutes ago, and other experiences too numerous to mention. Sometimes the enemy played a part, but there were times that God was working behind the scenes to keep from something being said that one might later regret.

The braggart, the Know-It-All, the loud mouth, and the comedic type all talk about people and things negatively, but refrain from the kind of discussions that are Holy Spirit led. These individuals, and others like them, will become defensive when confronted about a wrong thought, joke, comment, etc. They will try to quiet the person who’s doing the exposing by pointing out his or her faults while covering their own. “I’m not that bad. At least I don’t do that…I consider myself a good person.” the prideful person brags. Not only is the Know-It-All now a liar, but also a fault-finder too! When confronted about saying hurtful things about others or rebuked for stirring up trouble, he or she will try to justify his or her negative reactions or attempt to rebuke or correct the messenger of the Lord. Usually the Know-It-All, will place blame on the one who exposed him or her on a wrong by saying things like, “I didn’t appreciate the way she said that…He could have spoken to me differently…She should look at her life; instead of looking at mine! That’s why I don’t go to church!”

Sometimes we can be just as guilty as the prideful, braggart type of Know-It-All by talking about everything but our own sins. In 2 Samuel 12, Prophet Nathan rebukes King David by telling him a story about a rich man and a poor man. He tells of a rich man who takes a lamb from a poor man who had nothing despite the rich man having a very large number of cattle. David becomes furious about what had happened. But the prophet explains that the story is about David. “I anointed you king over Israel….why did you despise the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own…” (2 Sam. 12:9, NIV).

Did David argue with the prophet and come up with a long list of all he did good in the world in an effort to justify his evil ways? No. His reply was, “I have sinned against the Lord” (v. 12). David’s actions caused his enemies to hate him resulting in God’s judgment. Sometimes we can do things that will conjure up battles with an enemy. His acknowledgment of sin didn’t keep God from allowing other men from sleeping with his wives in broad daylight and it didn’t prevent the child he bore with Uriah’s wife from dying. David pleaded with God, fasted and prayed, but his son died anyway. We learn later that God blessed him with a second son to Bathsheba named Solomon. Despite his past sins, David didn’t allow them to keep him from continuing to believe and serve the Lord.

The Know-It-All backslider convinces his or herself that “I am alright, I am good” even when the truth of his or her sins are staring him or her right in the face! Rather than put God on the throne, the proud person puts his or herself on the throne. The Know-It-All, when approached about an infraction will use the Holy Bible to support his or her wrong-doing by cherry-picking various text that he or she agrees with while ignoring the convicting truths or this person will digress choosing to focus on others far worse than him or her. As we all know, no one is good, but the Father! Try telling the Know-It-All that and this person will most likely agree, but soon to follow is a long resume of everything he or she has done in life that makes him or her look knowledgeable and important.

Foes of Christ believers don’t like to be “outsmarted.” They always want to be right even when they are wrong.

You may have already learned a lot about God, spiritual gifts, Christ teachings, and other spiritual subject matter. The foe isn’t easily impressed. Instead, the more you know the more likely the enemy will attack you, because he or she may feel insecure or jealous. Watch your delivery when speaking to someone that believes he or she is better than you so that this person can’t accuse you of the same thing.

Your foe may call you a few names, attempt to discredit and ignore you, gossip about you to others, exaggerate the details of a confrontation, or possibly start a fight with you. When King David approached a relative of Saul, he cursed him and threw stones at him, his officials and troops. (2 Sam. 16:5-14). The king could have ordered this man be murdered. One man suggested cutting the man’s head off, but David didn’t encourage such action. Rather he said, “…If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’” (2 Sam. 16:10, NIV). “…Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to. It may be that the Lord will see my distress and repay me with the good for the cursing I am receiving today.” (2 Sam. 16:11, NIV). Interesting, centuries later, this story has been used as a lesson repeatedly to show believers how might one deal with a foe.

One who hates the God who lives within you will refuse truth, correction or rebuke in any form, because they don’t want their views to be challenged. A foe, a fellow believer, or someone God has used you to talk to, might not be ready to commit to anything that may impact his or her life no matter how positive, so we can walk away in peace knowing that we said or did all that God wanted us to do for the time being. Know-It-All critics pride themselves on their accomplishments and give sub-par praise to God for all the things that he has done in their lives.

Whatever your message, whether one of uplift, change, or warning, critics will find a way around acknowledging that your advice is good for one’s soul. They may even use your tips and never give credit where credit is due. Even worse, because backsliding Know-It-All critics don’t understand you and how God is using you to help them, they may misinterpret your attitude and mannerisms for being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, self-righteous, controlling or worse demonic. This is why earlier I warned watch your delivery. If you don’t know how to “tone down” your education or spiritual experiences for different audiences when dealing with people such as the poor, uneducated, or those that are not believers in spiritual giftings, then you are headed for trouble! In other words, speak so that others may be able to understand you—meet the unsaved and backslider on their levels. Most of all, pray in your mind while they are insulting you and ask God whether you should be sharing certain aspects of your spiritual walk with them. Some things are only meant to be shared between you and God and no one else. Notice, David didn’t stay in the critic’s presence trying to change the mind of this man who was still cursing him and showering him with dirt after he went away. Instead, David believed God had something to do with the man disrespecting him and looked on the brighter side that God might repay the king with good.

 

Solution:

Too much education tends to make some people act like they are indeed better than others. If you have ever talked to a child for a long period of time, you may notice he or she will begin to feel bored. His or her little mind just isn’t catching hold to what you are saying. You might start talking down to the child, slowing your speech, even acting impatient or frustrated with him or her because the little person has misunderstood you. When a child notices an adult acting in these ways with him or her, eventually they stop listening. Well, this same concept holds true when we talk to adults, if we consider ourselves very knowledgeable about a subject, we may talk far too much about it, get easily irritated when someone isn’t catching on, argue, cut people off in conversation, or trail off in subject areas the person listening has no understanding. When we notice ourselves doing this, we have to learn to bring our conversation back home—stay focused on the topic at hand. We also have to remember to end the conversation as soon as possible, so as to give the person listening time to digest what he or she has heard. Otherwise, if we don’t allow that quiet time, rest assured the critic will look at us with a confused expression, start sighing, make excuses to leave our presence, complain about “you’re talking too much” or become distracted with something else.

A look back…

You may have a bachelor, masters and/or a doctorate degree in a wide variety of subjects and you may even talk like it. When you bombard unbelievers with a large amount of information and explain your points using words that someone would have to use a dictionary to look up, this can easily frustrate them.

Think of a time when you were confused by someone who couldn’t explain a simple message in laymen’s terms. You may not have wanted to bother to read your Bible because what they were telling you was just too complex to understand. Learn to adjust your message for different audiences.

Scripture Reference

Proverbs 14:12

Proverbs 20:6

Proverbs 30:12

Luke 16:15

Isaiah 64:6

Matthew 23:30

Prayer

Lord, please forgive me for not delivering your messages in ways that are easily understood with patience and love. You have called me to teach the unbeliever and encourage my brother and sister in Christ. Please help me to be a better teacher in Jesus name.